static_abyss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
static_abyss) wrote2012-07-01 07:46 pm
static_abyss) wrote2012-07-01 07:46 pm
I am still alive, what
This is an entry to sort of explain where I have been for the past year and to let everyone know that I'm alive.
I feel like I owe![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
post_saccharine, maxism, moonfox35 an explanation. Also to Lena and Andi because I love you all so much and I went and kind of disappeared on you when you all had a bunch of shit going on in your lives and I feel like I've been a poor excuse for a friend.
I feel like fandom has been a way to be free, I guess, from my life, from the lives of my parents and siblings. I like writing and I honestly never thought I'd make it anywhere before fandom and I'll always have a soft spot for Super Junior because I feel this was where I took off and I met all these wonderful people who I adore.
These past two years haven't been easy for me. But, lucky for me I've aged more than I was supposed to during my few years of life. I think I can handle things better than a lot of people I know and that's thanks, essentially, to the people who cause chaos in my life in the first place.
I've noticed that I've slipped from fandom, but I've been trying to care again. Mostly because it makes me happy and I deserve that, a break from all the shit that I've had to go through these past two years. Sometimes I think I am still angry about a lot of that and just yesterday I was given a lot of time to think about all the problems in our house and I think I've narrowed it down to my father. I might be angry at him, but at the same time it hurts to think that I am. I can't help but look at him and see the kid he was and probably still is and I can't get angry at him. It just hurts. A lot of the time more than it should because I know he doesn't need me to be angry at him.
So, yeah, basically, I am dealing with shit that I should have had the courage to deal with earlier and if I weren't so afraid of hurting other people's feelings I probably would have gotten it all out sooner. This is a pretty shit explanation but the people who know me have an idea about the things I'm talking about.
What I want to say is that I'm back. Here, because twitter is too much for me right now. I'll get back on that one day. For now, I'm taking things slow, getting in other fandoms, loving on shinee, trying not to love EXO and hating how much I am being sucked into One Direction because, seriously.
LJ is a bitch, but she's my bitch so if you all still remember me, you can find me here. I love you all ♥
I feel like I owe
post_saccharine, maxism, moonfox35 an explanation. Also to Lena and Andi because I love you all so much and I went and kind of disappeared on you when you all had a bunch of shit going on in your lives and I feel like I've been a poor excuse for a friend. I feel like fandom has been a way to be free, I guess, from my life, from the lives of my parents and siblings. I like writing and I honestly never thought I'd make it anywhere before fandom and I'll always have a soft spot for Super Junior because I feel this was where I took off and I met all these wonderful people who I adore.
These past two years haven't been easy for me. But, lucky for me I've aged more than I was supposed to during my few years of life. I think I can handle things better than a lot of people I know and that's thanks, essentially, to the people who cause chaos in my life in the first place.
I've noticed that I've slipped from fandom, but I've been trying to care again. Mostly because it makes me happy and I deserve that, a break from all the shit that I've had to go through these past two years. Sometimes I think I am still angry about a lot of that and just yesterday I was given a lot of time to think about all the problems in our house and I think I've narrowed it down to my father. I might be angry at him, but at the same time it hurts to think that I am. I can't help but look at him and see the kid he was and probably still is and I can't get angry at him. It just hurts. A lot of the time more than it should because I know he doesn't need me to be angry at him.
So, yeah, basically, I am dealing with shit that I should have had the courage to deal with earlier and if I weren't so afraid of hurting other people's feelings I probably would have gotten it all out sooner. This is a pretty shit explanation but the people who know me have an idea about the things I'm talking about.
What I want to say is that I'm back. Here, because twitter is too much for me right now. I'll get back on that one day. For now, I'm taking things slow, getting in other fandoms, loving on shinee, trying not to love EXO and hating how much I am being sucked into One Direction because, seriously.
LJ is a bitch, but she's my bitch so if you all still remember me, you can find me here. I love you all ♥
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I missed you so so much you it pained me ;~~~;
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Exo-M is the fucking cutest thing that has ever happened to the planet. I can't look at them in the face and not love them Andi. They're so adorable, especially Tao, because he's such a baby. I want to sit him on my lap and coo at him. ;~; I love them.