I am still alive, what

[static_abyss]

This is an entry to sort of explain where I have been for the past year and to let everyone know that I'm alive.



I feel like I owe post_saccharine, maxism, moonfox35 an explanation. Also to Lena and Andi because I love you all so much and I went and kind of disappeared on you when you all had a bunch of shit going on in your lives and I feel like I've been a poor excuse for a friend.

I feel like fandom has been a way to be free, I guess, from my life, from the lives of my parents and siblings. I like writing and I honestly never thought I'd make it anywhere before fandom and I'll always have a soft spot for Super Junior because I feel this was where I took off and I met all these wonderful people who I adore.

These past two years haven't been easy for me. But, lucky for me I've aged more than I was supposed to during my few years of life. I think I can handle things better than a lot of people I know and that's thanks, essentially, to the people who cause chaos in my life in the first place.

I've noticed that I've slipped from fandom, but I've been trying to care again. Mostly because it makes me happy and I deserve that, a break from all the shit that I've had to go through these past two years. Sometimes I think I am still angry about a lot of that and just yesterday I was given a lot of time to think about all the problems in our house and I think I've narrowed it down to my father. I might be angry at him, but at the same time it hurts to think that I am. I can't help but look at him and see the kid he was and probably still is and I can't get angry at him. It just hurts. A lot of the time more than it should because I know he doesn't need me to be angry at him.

So, yeah, basically, I am dealing with shit that I should have had the courage to deal with earlier and if I weren't so afraid of hurting other people's feelings I probably would have gotten it all out sooner. This is a pretty shit explanation but the people who know me have an idea about the things I'm talking about.

What I want to say is that I'm back. Here, because twitter is too much for me right now. I'll get back on that one day. For now, I'm taking things slow, getting in other fandoms, loving on shinee, trying not to love EXO and hating how much I am being sucked into One Direction because, seriously.

LJ is a bitch, but she's my bitch so if you all still remember me, you can find me here. I love you all ♥

Comments

[aeries-amethyst.livejournal.com]

*super huggle glomps*

Life is a rollercoaster of emotion right now. University...Wae you so confusing? OTL *sigh*

I don't think I've ever stanned a new group as hard as I have stanned EXO and that is saying something lol XD Kris and Kai can get in me and my bed *wink wink* Lu Han (and Sehun as well) is so prettyful *O* reminds me of Jaejoong's haunting beauty sometimes O___O Lay is such a 4D unicorn that it's no wonder that he's my EXO-M bias XD But it is still so hard to find a bias in this group because everyone is so fucking awesome in their own way :(

Hopefully one day very soon I can start my EXO fanfic splurge because I've been meaning to write them for a long time now, so I might as well get started ;)

I had no idea that people in the Merlin fandom even talked about One Direction o.O That's a strange combo right there. Must be because they're both European I guess =/ I'm currently stuck in the Game of Thrones fandom and I regret nothing *O*

You're welcome <3 (Y)

[static_abyss]

I love your Jessica gif omg ♥

Oh, university student? What are you studying?

I've noticed all the reference to unicorns and I am afraid. It's like EXO has magical stanning powers. I do not understand how I can love these people without even putting in any effort to know who they are. It's like, once I actually look into them, that's it. There will be no coming back. And everyone in fandom is all into EXO so it's only a matter of time. I've seen Lu Han's pretty face omg

Fanfic splurge. I want all the fanfic.

GAME OF FUCKIN THRONES. DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON GAME OF THRONES. HOW IS EVERYONE NOT TALKING NON STOP ABOUT THAT. Ugh, I can't even tell you how much I love that show and fuck all the sex in the first two episodes because it just got so much fucking better after. And I had all these favorites and I will stab my screen if another Stark is taken away from me. I just love the fucking stark boys. Robb and Jon and Richard and Kit. LET ME SHARE ALL MY FEELINGS

[aeries-amethyst.livejournal.com]

You love my Jessica icon? :O Well I love your Hyoyeon icon too! ^_^ *high fives*

I'm studying engineering right now lol So it's a whole lot of guys that I have to work with...Unfortunately, majority of them are unattractive...But fortunately, they baby me XD But then again, I'm the minority here so of course they baby me -.-'

Of course EXO has magic stanning powers since each of the boys has a specific magical element, that is either natural or supernatural ;)

I write fanfics...You write fanfics...We all write fanfics...and the world will be such a beautiful place filled with EXO fanfics *flails* XD

Can I just marry your whole comment about GoT? *spazzes* XDD

I love ALL of the Stark boys!!! *O* Robb, Jon and Bran are definitely my biases!!! However, I can't leave out Arya, because let's face it, she may be young...But she's definitely a badass in training ;) and what I love most about my darlings Starks are their wolves!!! *__* //squeals I've always loved wolves so the fact that they had wolves as pets and also managed to train them into such skilled fighters makes me even more ecstatic! I love Jon's wolf the best though. He is so gorgeous with that white fur coat and the fact that his name is Ghost *flails* I adore that wolf :3

Ugh, my heart hurt me so badly when they killed Eddard :( I literally bawled!!! >___< *sniffles* He so did not deserve that kind of death! Joffery, that little pussy needs to die a painful death and rot in hell -.- I swear, Ned really shoulda spoken up about Joffery not being the rightful heir to the throne...Could have avoided that whole thing right there, but no... >___>

And how can I forget about my favourite little midget, Tyrian =D He's tiny but still quite awesome if I do say so myself ;) However, Cersei and Jaime need to gtfo...and take their son with them -___- #nuffsaid



SHARE YOUR FEELS BB CUZ I AM SHARING MINE!!! *SPAZZES*

[static_abyss]

Your comment and I are going to get married and move to England, okay?

SHARES ALL THE FEELINGS.

I love all the Starks and hate the Lanisters almost as hard. But, then Tyiron Lanister was the best there was in the entire world. I mean, he was the fucking best and I just wanted to high five him and jump up and down whenever he was on screen. I think I have an unhealthy obsession, but everything he said was just so full of win i don't even know.

I just don't know what to do about the whole Lanister thing. It's like, I am fascinated and repulsed at the same time. It's very strange, but I like it. It's the most interesting show I've seen HBO come out with. Or, actually the most interesting show on HBO that I've watched.

[static_abyss]

Oh and can I add all the Richard and Kit love?

I just love how on interviews Ricard's always like, "me and Kit went to Mexico." "Me and Kit went to New York City." "Me and Kit hang out." "Me and Kit." "Me and Kit." "Me and Kit."

I'm just waiting for the day when he goes, "oh yeah, so me and kit are just going for a quick fuck, be right back." /stans

[aeries-amethyst.livejournal.com]

*ROLLS AROUND IN ALL THESE GoT FEELS* XD

Basically, it's Starks FTW and the Lanisters GTFO minus Tyrion because he's a certified BAMF

The whole incest thing was just unnecessarily weird that I just didn't even want to think about it half the time, but it really sucks that Robert didn't have any true heirs O___O

Btw, I love dragons as well!!! *O*

And I'll have you know that True Blood is pretty interesting too :P I'm watching it right now actually!!! =] HBO really does have some good shows you know :3

Now be dazzled by my Kris icon!!! :D

[static_abyss]

EXO IS EVERYWHERE IDE

Yeah, true blood was another one that my mom started watching with my dad and they were fascinated so I sat in with them when they were watching it and the two episodes I've seen were interesting, but I started right in the middle of whatever season this is so I don't know what's going on. I was thinking of watching it from the beginning, but I have no time :( I sort of do need shows to watch while I wait for my Supernatural/Sherlock/Merlin/Doctor Who thing to start up again.

I love that there are dragons and I want them back. I was waiting all of season 1 for the dragons and when we finally get them someone steals them and they're gone >:(

[aeries-amethyst.livejournal.com]

EXO ALL DAY EVERY DAY XD ALL HAIL THE KINGS OF EXO PLANET ^___^

Might as well get started on True Blood then since you definitely need something to keep you occupied now lol :P

Supernatural + Sherlock + Merlin + Doctor Who = EPIC *O*

Those dragons are pretty much the most elusive creatures in the who freaking series =____=