static_abyss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
static_abyss) wrote2011-05-29 12:36 pm
static_abyss) wrote2011-05-29 12:36 pm
How to Understand
Title: How to understand
Pairing: qmi, kyuwon
Genre: angst
Rating: R
Summary: Choi Siwon, perfect, gentleman Choi Siwon can’t fall. So, Kyuhyun has to be there. But he demands that Zhou Mi be there too.
a/n: So Hellvy wrote this amazing kyuwon fic and of course I had to write an offshot to it :|
It’s the emptiness of it all that has Kyuhyun, not necessarily confused, but close to it. It’s like it means nothing, like they’re just two perfect strangers fucking for the sake of fucking. It’s all they have when it comes down to it. Kyuhyun does nothing. He just lies there as Siwon moves over him. He could be sleeping for all the reaction he gives. The touches mean nothing, make him feel nothing. It’s empty and shallow and he’s still here.
There is no passion in this. There is no whispered promise. Siwon doesn’t bury his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, doesn’t hug him. It’s mechanical, simple. All Kyuhyun has to do is follow when Siwon gives him that look.
He gets up like the obedient dongsaeng should. He goes into Siwon’s bedroom, falls onto Siwon’s bed all by himself. Fuck, he’s even learned to undress himself to spare Siwon the trouble. And then Siwon is climbing over him and Kyuhyun closes his eyes. He thinks of how tired he is, how he wants nothing more than to crawl under the covers and sleep.
He’s half asleep already when Siwon hits something inside him and then his eyes are open and he’s gasping. Their hands find each other, Kyuhyun’s nails dig into Siwon’s biceps. There are more thrust, gasps, groans. Siwon doesn’t look at him once, not even when they come together.
It’s like the world is against them. It feeds them moments of intimacy and all they do is turn away. Siwon gets up, pulls on his clothes and walks out of the room. It’s like that every time.
Kyuhyun is used to it.
---
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. They’re in China. He’s with Zhou Mi, with Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Henry, and Ryeowook. There is no Siwon today, no Donghae. The two are off filming a drama. Kyuhyun wonders if Siwon fucks Donghae the way he fucks him. For all he knows, Siwon is actually careful with Donghae, might actually be something other than cold and mechanical. Maybe Siwon loves Donghae.
The thought makes him sick.
There is no love in what Siwon is doing. Kyuhyun knows. It’s the same thing he’s doing right now with Zhou Mi. It’s empty, except with Siwon it’s empty on both their parts. With Zhou Mi it’s not always so empty.
---
Kyuhyun realizes that what he and Siwon do might actually have more impact than he first thought.
They’re filming a show. It’s only the six of them because Donghae and Siwon are off filming. Zhou Mi is standing next to him dressed in that light grey trench coat. His hair is hanging over his face and the way he’s looking at Kyuhyun is not innocent.
Kyuhyun looks back at Zhou Mi. There is no innocence in Zhou Mi’s eyes, but when Zhou Mi smiles at him that changes. It’s like someone flipped a switch and there is something in Zhou Mi’s eyes that Kyuhyun doesn’t understand.
He understands the first look though and at night, after they’re done filming and he can’t sleep, he goes to Zhou Mi’s room. Zhou Mi is on his bed, wide awake when Kyuhyun goes in.
“Kui Xian.”
That’s as far as Kyuhyun lets Zhou Mi go. He goes over, pushes Zhou Mi down onto the bed and pulls at the older man’s shirt. Zhou Mi tries to say something, tries to stop Kyuhyun. It doesn’t work that way. It never has.
He silences Zhou Mi with his hands, with his lips, his hips. Kyuhyun wants someone to fuck him to sleep. Zhou Mi wants more. When they finish, Zhou Mi kisses him, lips on lips.
Kyuhyun doesn’t understand.
---
He comes to understand later. Siwon is back with them for a bit and Kyuhyun leaves Zhou Mi. He’s back to staring at the ceiling while Siwon fucks him, fast, in, out, gone. This time though it’s not enough. There is something itching. Kyuhyun can’t sleep, no matter how hard he tries.
He’s up because he’s not getting to sleep the way things are going. He tells himself that he’s going for a walk, but he knows what he’s doing. He opens the door to Zhou Mi’s room. Zhou Mi is waiting for him, sitting down on his bed with his legs crossed.
Zhou Mi says nothing, just opens his arms to hold him. Kyuhyun falls into them, crawls onto Zhou Mi’s lap. He misses the comfort, the way he was always able to fall asleep in these arms. He misses the way Zhou Mi would sometimes sing to him, soft songs, words he didn’t always understand.
He hears the song now. He feels the arms. He just can’t fall asleep.
“Zhou Mi.” Kyuhyun whispers sitting up in Zhou Mi’s lap.
“Yes?”
“I can’t sleep.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes tell him everything he needs to know. Zhou Mi lies down on the bed. Kyuhyun follows. They tear at clothes. Kyuhyun is needy. Zhou Mi is calm. He lets Kyuhyun do what he wants, stopping him only to place kisses along Kyuhyun’s jaw.
Kyuhyun is not as patient. He pushes Zhou Mi down into the covers, pressing his way in. The arch of Zhou Mi’s neck, the way he bends into Kyuhyun’s touch. Kyuhyun finally understands what Siwon feels. Cold and empty, fucking someone just because you need to fuck someone.
It’s hard not to compare.
Siwon is cold and Zhou Mi is warm.
When Zhou Mi comes, Kyuhyun understands.
He doesn’t like it.
---
Kyuhyun knows what is going on. He can tell from the way Zhou Mi looks at him. There are emotions invested on Zhou Mi’s part. Kyuhyun knows this is what he was waiting for. This is what he should want. He should go to Zhou Mi, fall into those arms. He wants to, but Siwon was first and Siwon taught him how to be cold.
Kyuhyun can’t love. He can’t feel what Zhou Mi does. He is not afraid, not really. He just doesn’t know how.
It’s because he cares about Zhou Mi that he does it. He really does care, loves Zhou Mi the way he and Siwon should probably love each other. He doesn’t let Zhou Mi touch him anymore. When they fuck, Kyuhyun is in charge. He takes to bending over, on his hands and knees so that even if Zhou Mi wanted to, he can’t kiss Kyuhyun.
Zhou Mi learns, takes things in stride, in private.
In public there are still the touches. There is the way Zhou Mi brushes the side of Kyuhyun’s face with his fingers. Flicking away dust Zhou Mi whispers when Kyuhyun pushes him away. The smile on Zhou Mi’s face says there was no dust.
---
Sometimes Kyuhyun wonders how they can still be friends. He doesn’t understand how Zhou Mi can smile at him like that, look at him like that. He doesn’t get why Zhou Mi fusses over him, feeds him.
“You fed me once too.” Zhou Mi answers when Kyuhyun asks him.
Kyuhyun can remember that. It’s why he is being so cold. Zhou Mi doesn’t deserve what Kyuhyun is capable of giving him. Zhou Mi deserves more, better. Kyuhyun is for Siwon, to be forever fucked into a cold mattress. That is what Kyuhyun knows.
Zhou Mi should never know that.
---
Zhou Mi doesn’t go away. Siwon does.
He’s alone again, awake at ridiculous hours. Kyuhyun knows he won’t be going to sleep any time soon. He can’t even bring himself to turn on his computer. It’s too much of a bother. He’s exhausted, too tired to fall asleep properly.
He goes to Zhou Mi’s room because that’s where he will always go. He always ends up on his hands and knees getting fucked into a mattress by a man who might (who probably is in) love with him. Kyuhyun is tired of the emptiness. He wants to feel something.
It starts out like business as usual. Zhou Mi gets up when Kyuhyun comes in. Kyuhyun can see himself in the way Zhou Mi starts unbuttoning his shirt. Zhou Mi's eyes are empty just like Kyuhyun’s are whenever Siwon comes to him.
It’s Kyuhyun’s fault.
He knows it is.
It’s his fault and he still crawls into Zhou Mi’s bed. He still gets on his hands and knees. Zhou Mi moves behind him, his long fingers sliding down Kyuhyun’s back. It’s Zhou Mi’s way of kissing him. Kyuhyun notices: the way Zhou Mi’s fingers slide over every inch of his back, down his spine, over his thighs.
“No.” Kyuhyun says when he feels Zhou Mi’s first finger. “Just like that.”
Zhou Mi’s protest ends in a low groan of “Kui Xian” when Kyuhyun pushes back against him in one go. Dry. It burns. It hurts. But Kyuhyun wants it to hurt. He wants the pain over the emptiness he always feels. He wants to feel something. Anything.
The slow burn as Zhou Mi moves into him is something. It pulls at something inside him, draws a cry from him. There is more reaction in this then there ever was in anything Kyuhyun has done with Siwon, but at the same time it’s not enough. It hurts. It burns, but there has to be more. Siwon has made him cry out in pain too and Kyuhyun wants something else.
He pushes back into Zhou Mi just as Zhou Mi moves into him. They hit something together and Kyuhyun is waiting for the rake of those nails along his back. There is none, just Zhou Mi’s breathless panting, one hand on Kyuhyun’s hip like it belongs there. The other hand is fisted in the collar of the shirt Kyuhyun never got off.
Zhou Mi is doing everything not to hurt Kyuhyun. It hits something, the way Zhou Mi trembles over Kyuhyun as he tries to hold back. The way Zhou Mi cries out, his knuckles probably white from the grip he has on Kyuhyun’s shirt. It all hits something, but Kyuhyun doesn’t understand it. He wants Zhou Mi’s nails down his back. He wants to cry out from the pain. There is feeling in pain. Kyuhyun can understand that.
Zhou Mi never gives him pain. He gives him this. This moment where the two of them are pressed together, pants mingling with the heat from their bodies. Zhou Mi gives him kisses along the nape of Kyuhyun’s neck. Zhou Mi gives him this.
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what this is.
---
Siwon comes back again and Zhou Mi disappears. It’s like it always is except this time watching Zhou Mi leave pulls at something. It’s not big enough yet, but it’s there and Kyuhyun tries to understand it. He’s never pretended he understands what Zhou Mi is feeling. He can’t understand because he’s never felt it. He can understand Siwon though.
He understands why Siwon comes to him, eyes somewhere far away. He can understand the way Siwon fucks him into the mattress because Siwon doesn’t want it to be Kyuhyun. Siwon wants other boys. Siwon wants what he can’t have, what he shouldn’t want and Kyuhyun is the only one who can help him get rid of the want. It was Kyuhyun first and Siwon will always come back to Kyuhyun because it’s okay if it’s Kyuhyun.
Siwon has fucked him and as long as Kyuhyun is there he can contain this, to this one point in space, to Kyuhyun’s body.
Kyuhyun is helping Siwon.
---
Kyuhyun doesn’t pretend to understand the way Zhou Mi touches his cheek, the way his eyes fill with adoration that Kyuhyun sees even if he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t pretend that he understands the way Zhou Mi smiles at him when their hands brush against each other. He doesn’t pretend to understand Zhou Mi.
Kyuhyun doesn’t get how Zhou Mi can feel what he feels for Kyuhyun even when Kyuhyun is just using him. He doesn’t get it. It confuses him. He wants sleep and peace, but Zhou Mi wants something else. Zhou Mi should want nothing else. Kyuhyun has never asked for anything else from Siwon.
Kyuhyun doesn’t get Zhou Mi sometimes and then sometimes he does. When they’re together at night, with the sheets tangled around them. When Zhou Mi is moving behind him, hands on the side of Kyuhyun’s face, hips moving torturously slow until Kyuhyun is the one doing most of the work. When Zhou Mi is pulling him close, whispering things into his ear. Sometimes then, Kyuhyun gets him. Sometimes it hits that something that is inside his chest, buried under the layers that are Siwon. Sometimes it does.
But then there is Siwon. He leaves and comes back. Kyuhyun has routine with Siwon. Somehow, despite what Zhou Mi touches, Kyuhyun still knows, just somewhere, that he has to be there when Siwon comes back. It’s like he knows that if he isn’t there Siwon will fall.
Siwon can’t fall. Kyuhyun knows this. The world knows this. Choi Siwon, perfect, gentleman Choi Siwon can’t fall. So, Kyuhyun has to be there. But he demands that Zhou Mi be there too. Be there for him when Siwon is gone.
It isn’t fair.
But then, when has anything ever been fair?
Pairing: qmi, kyuwon
Genre: angst
Rating: R
Summary: Choi Siwon, perfect, gentleman Choi Siwon can’t fall. So, Kyuhyun has to be there. But he demands that Zhou Mi be there too.
a/n: So Hellvy wrote this amazing kyuwon fic and of course I had to write an offshot to it :|
It’s the emptiness of it all that has Kyuhyun, not necessarily confused, but close to it. It’s like it means nothing, like they’re just two perfect strangers fucking for the sake of fucking. It’s all they have when it comes down to it. Kyuhyun does nothing. He just lies there as Siwon moves over him. He could be sleeping for all the reaction he gives. The touches mean nothing, make him feel nothing. It’s empty and shallow and he’s still here.
There is no passion in this. There is no whispered promise. Siwon doesn’t bury his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, doesn’t hug him. It’s mechanical, simple. All Kyuhyun has to do is follow when Siwon gives him that look.
He gets up like the obedient dongsaeng should. He goes into Siwon’s bedroom, falls onto Siwon’s bed all by himself. Fuck, he’s even learned to undress himself to spare Siwon the trouble. And then Siwon is climbing over him and Kyuhyun closes his eyes. He thinks of how tired he is, how he wants nothing more than to crawl under the covers and sleep.
He’s half asleep already when Siwon hits something inside him and then his eyes are open and he’s gasping. Their hands find each other, Kyuhyun’s nails dig into Siwon’s biceps. There are more thrust, gasps, groans. Siwon doesn’t look at him once, not even when they come together.
It’s like the world is against them. It feeds them moments of intimacy and all they do is turn away. Siwon gets up, pulls on his clothes and walks out of the room. It’s like that every time.
Kyuhyun is used to it.
---
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. They’re in China. He’s with Zhou Mi, with Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Henry, and Ryeowook. There is no Siwon today, no Donghae. The two are off filming a drama. Kyuhyun wonders if Siwon fucks Donghae the way he fucks him. For all he knows, Siwon is actually careful with Donghae, might actually be something other than cold and mechanical. Maybe Siwon loves Donghae.
The thought makes him sick.
There is no love in what Siwon is doing. Kyuhyun knows. It’s the same thing he’s doing right now with Zhou Mi. It’s empty, except with Siwon it’s empty on both their parts. With Zhou Mi it’s not always so empty.
---
Kyuhyun realizes that what he and Siwon do might actually have more impact than he first thought.
They’re filming a show. It’s only the six of them because Donghae and Siwon are off filming. Zhou Mi is standing next to him dressed in that light grey trench coat. His hair is hanging over his face and the way he’s looking at Kyuhyun is not innocent.
Kyuhyun looks back at Zhou Mi. There is no innocence in Zhou Mi’s eyes, but when Zhou Mi smiles at him that changes. It’s like someone flipped a switch and there is something in Zhou Mi’s eyes that Kyuhyun doesn’t understand.
He understands the first look though and at night, after they’re done filming and he can’t sleep, he goes to Zhou Mi’s room. Zhou Mi is on his bed, wide awake when Kyuhyun goes in.
“Kui Xian.”
That’s as far as Kyuhyun lets Zhou Mi go. He goes over, pushes Zhou Mi down onto the bed and pulls at the older man’s shirt. Zhou Mi tries to say something, tries to stop Kyuhyun. It doesn’t work that way. It never has.
He silences Zhou Mi with his hands, with his lips, his hips. Kyuhyun wants someone to fuck him to sleep. Zhou Mi wants more. When they finish, Zhou Mi kisses him, lips on lips.
Kyuhyun doesn’t understand.
---
He comes to understand later. Siwon is back with them for a bit and Kyuhyun leaves Zhou Mi. He’s back to staring at the ceiling while Siwon fucks him, fast, in, out, gone. This time though it’s not enough. There is something itching. Kyuhyun can’t sleep, no matter how hard he tries.
He’s up because he’s not getting to sleep the way things are going. He tells himself that he’s going for a walk, but he knows what he’s doing. He opens the door to Zhou Mi’s room. Zhou Mi is waiting for him, sitting down on his bed with his legs crossed.
Zhou Mi says nothing, just opens his arms to hold him. Kyuhyun falls into them, crawls onto Zhou Mi’s lap. He misses the comfort, the way he was always able to fall asleep in these arms. He misses the way Zhou Mi would sometimes sing to him, soft songs, words he didn’t always understand.
He hears the song now. He feels the arms. He just can’t fall asleep.
“Zhou Mi.” Kyuhyun whispers sitting up in Zhou Mi’s lap.
“Yes?”
“I can’t sleep.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes tell him everything he needs to know. Zhou Mi lies down on the bed. Kyuhyun follows. They tear at clothes. Kyuhyun is needy. Zhou Mi is calm. He lets Kyuhyun do what he wants, stopping him only to place kisses along Kyuhyun’s jaw.
Kyuhyun is not as patient. He pushes Zhou Mi down into the covers, pressing his way in. The arch of Zhou Mi’s neck, the way he bends into Kyuhyun’s touch. Kyuhyun finally understands what Siwon feels. Cold and empty, fucking someone just because you need to fuck someone.
It’s hard not to compare.
Siwon is cold and Zhou Mi is warm.
When Zhou Mi comes, Kyuhyun understands.
He doesn’t like it.
---
Kyuhyun knows what is going on. He can tell from the way Zhou Mi looks at him. There are emotions invested on Zhou Mi’s part. Kyuhyun knows this is what he was waiting for. This is what he should want. He should go to Zhou Mi, fall into those arms. He wants to, but Siwon was first and Siwon taught him how to be cold.
Kyuhyun can’t love. He can’t feel what Zhou Mi does. He is not afraid, not really. He just doesn’t know how.
It’s because he cares about Zhou Mi that he does it. He really does care, loves Zhou Mi the way he and Siwon should probably love each other. He doesn’t let Zhou Mi touch him anymore. When they fuck, Kyuhyun is in charge. He takes to bending over, on his hands and knees so that even if Zhou Mi wanted to, he can’t kiss Kyuhyun.
Zhou Mi learns, takes things in stride, in private.
In public there are still the touches. There is the way Zhou Mi brushes the side of Kyuhyun’s face with his fingers. Flicking away dust Zhou Mi whispers when Kyuhyun pushes him away. The smile on Zhou Mi’s face says there was no dust.
---
Sometimes Kyuhyun wonders how they can still be friends. He doesn’t understand how Zhou Mi can smile at him like that, look at him like that. He doesn’t get why Zhou Mi fusses over him, feeds him.
“You fed me once too.” Zhou Mi answers when Kyuhyun asks him.
Kyuhyun can remember that. It’s why he is being so cold. Zhou Mi doesn’t deserve what Kyuhyun is capable of giving him. Zhou Mi deserves more, better. Kyuhyun is for Siwon, to be forever fucked into a cold mattress. That is what Kyuhyun knows.
Zhou Mi should never know that.
---
Zhou Mi doesn’t go away. Siwon does.
He’s alone again, awake at ridiculous hours. Kyuhyun knows he won’t be going to sleep any time soon. He can’t even bring himself to turn on his computer. It’s too much of a bother. He’s exhausted, too tired to fall asleep properly.
He goes to Zhou Mi’s room because that’s where he will always go. He always ends up on his hands and knees getting fucked into a mattress by a man who might (who probably is in) love with him. Kyuhyun is tired of the emptiness. He wants to feel something.
It starts out like business as usual. Zhou Mi gets up when Kyuhyun comes in. Kyuhyun can see himself in the way Zhou Mi starts unbuttoning his shirt. Zhou Mi's eyes are empty just like Kyuhyun’s are whenever Siwon comes to him.
It’s Kyuhyun’s fault.
He knows it is.
It’s his fault and he still crawls into Zhou Mi’s bed. He still gets on his hands and knees. Zhou Mi moves behind him, his long fingers sliding down Kyuhyun’s back. It’s Zhou Mi’s way of kissing him. Kyuhyun notices: the way Zhou Mi’s fingers slide over every inch of his back, down his spine, over his thighs.
“No.” Kyuhyun says when he feels Zhou Mi’s first finger. “Just like that.”
Zhou Mi’s protest ends in a low groan of “Kui Xian” when Kyuhyun pushes back against him in one go. Dry. It burns. It hurts. But Kyuhyun wants it to hurt. He wants the pain over the emptiness he always feels. He wants to feel something. Anything.
The slow burn as Zhou Mi moves into him is something. It pulls at something inside him, draws a cry from him. There is more reaction in this then there ever was in anything Kyuhyun has done with Siwon, but at the same time it’s not enough. It hurts. It burns, but there has to be more. Siwon has made him cry out in pain too and Kyuhyun wants something else.
He pushes back into Zhou Mi just as Zhou Mi moves into him. They hit something together and Kyuhyun is waiting for the rake of those nails along his back. There is none, just Zhou Mi’s breathless panting, one hand on Kyuhyun’s hip like it belongs there. The other hand is fisted in the collar of the shirt Kyuhyun never got off.
Zhou Mi is doing everything not to hurt Kyuhyun. It hits something, the way Zhou Mi trembles over Kyuhyun as he tries to hold back. The way Zhou Mi cries out, his knuckles probably white from the grip he has on Kyuhyun’s shirt. It all hits something, but Kyuhyun doesn’t understand it. He wants Zhou Mi’s nails down his back. He wants to cry out from the pain. There is feeling in pain. Kyuhyun can understand that.
Zhou Mi never gives him pain. He gives him this. This moment where the two of them are pressed together, pants mingling with the heat from their bodies. Zhou Mi gives him kisses along the nape of Kyuhyun’s neck. Zhou Mi gives him this.
Kyuhyun doesn’t know what this is.
---
Siwon comes back again and Zhou Mi disappears. It’s like it always is except this time watching Zhou Mi leave pulls at something. It’s not big enough yet, but it’s there and Kyuhyun tries to understand it. He’s never pretended he understands what Zhou Mi is feeling. He can’t understand because he’s never felt it. He can understand Siwon though.
He understands why Siwon comes to him, eyes somewhere far away. He can understand the way Siwon fucks him into the mattress because Siwon doesn’t want it to be Kyuhyun. Siwon wants other boys. Siwon wants what he can’t have, what he shouldn’t want and Kyuhyun is the only one who can help him get rid of the want. It was Kyuhyun first and Siwon will always come back to Kyuhyun because it’s okay if it’s Kyuhyun.
Siwon has fucked him and as long as Kyuhyun is there he can contain this, to this one point in space, to Kyuhyun’s body.
Kyuhyun is helping Siwon.
---
Kyuhyun doesn’t pretend to understand the way Zhou Mi touches his cheek, the way his eyes fill with adoration that Kyuhyun sees even if he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t pretend that he understands the way Zhou Mi smiles at him when their hands brush against each other. He doesn’t pretend to understand Zhou Mi.
Kyuhyun doesn’t get how Zhou Mi can feel what he feels for Kyuhyun even when Kyuhyun is just using him. He doesn’t get it. It confuses him. He wants sleep and peace, but Zhou Mi wants something else. Zhou Mi should want nothing else. Kyuhyun has never asked for anything else from Siwon.
Kyuhyun doesn’t get Zhou Mi sometimes and then sometimes he does. When they’re together at night, with the sheets tangled around them. When Zhou Mi is moving behind him, hands on the side of Kyuhyun’s face, hips moving torturously slow until Kyuhyun is the one doing most of the work. When Zhou Mi is pulling him close, whispering things into his ear. Sometimes then, Kyuhyun gets him. Sometimes it hits that something that is inside his chest, buried under the layers that are Siwon. Sometimes it does.
But then there is Siwon. He leaves and comes back. Kyuhyun has routine with Siwon. Somehow, despite what Zhou Mi touches, Kyuhyun still knows, just somewhere, that he has to be there when Siwon comes back. It’s like he knows that if he isn’t there Siwon will fall.
Siwon can’t fall. Kyuhyun knows this. The world knows this. Choi Siwon, perfect, gentleman Choi Siwon can’t fall. So, Kyuhyun has to be there. But he demands that Zhou Mi be there too. Be there for him when Siwon is gone.
It isn’t fair.
But then, when has anything ever been fair?
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It’s like the world is against them. It feeds them moments of intimacy and all they do is turn away.
oh my god, yes. This line is just...ugh, Ana. You are trying to pull my heart out through my chest.
It’s empty, except with Siwon it’s empty on both their parts. With Zhou Mi it’s not always so empty.
MiMi D: jrvntjbntbnjntjbk poor MiMi. Stupid Kyuhyun.
Stop being a bawlbag and LOOK AFTER YOUR BOY, KYUHYUN.When they finish, Zhou Mi kisses him, lips on lips.
Oh damn, MiMi messed up. There's a no kissing rule, Zhou Mi.
The arch of Zhou Mi’s neck, the way he bends into Kyuhyun’s touch. Kyuhyun finally understand what Siwon feels. Cold and empty, fucking someone just because you need to fuck someone.
Ugh because of stupid selfish Siwon Kyuhyun's getting hurt and Zhou Mi's getting hurt and jkrgnjkbnbjktntgbjktj stupid Siwon.
Siwon was first and Siwon taught him how to be cold.
STUPID SELFISH SIWON.
“No.” Kyuhyun says when he feels Zhou Mi’s first finger. “Just like that.”
...guh...
It was Kyuhyun first and Siwon will always come back to Kyuhyun because it’s okay if it’s Kyuhyun.
Ugh only because Kyuhyun's already broken because he's so tired, Siwon.
Stupid Siwon.Kyuhyun doesn’t get Zhou Mi sometimes and then sometimes he does. When they’re together at night, with the sheets tangled around them.
I just want Kyuhyun to stop being such an idiot and give in to what he knows he could feel. And to stop hurting MiMi. /heavily invested in fics.
fkngrjknghjkntjkhjty oh my god, Ana. This is so perfect and angsty and there's stupid Siwon and poor broken baby Kyu who's hurting pretty baby MiMi...*sigh*. It's all perfect. I said you'd take my stupid KyuWon and make it epic~
♥ ♥
*sigh* I just can't with them. they are so precious and married.
But, bb - I love this fic like I love you
relentlessly and in a really irritating manner.- Kyu.
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IT'S KYUWON, THEY WERE MY FIRST OTP IN SUPER JUNIOR after KangChul but let's not get into that I LOVE KYUWON, I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH.
they’re just two perfect strangers fucking for the sake of fucking.
THIS LINE SPEAKS SO MUCH, IT TALKS ALOT ABOUT KYUWON'S RELATIONSHIP, I LOVE THIS LINE.
All Kyuhyun has to do is follow when Siwon gives him that look.
THIS TOO, IT SHOWS HOW MUNDANE THE RELATIONSHIP IS AND HOW SIWON WOULD FUCK A MILLION OTHER GUYS/GIRLS BUT KYUHYUN WOULDN'T FEEL ANYTHING.
He gets up like the obedient dongsaeng should
SAME SAAAAAAAAAME, THEY ARE JUST FUCKING BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO, NOT BECAUSE THEY WANT IT. ;____________; I LOVE THIS OKAY
when Siwon hits something inside him and then his eyes are open and he’s gasping
THOUGH THEY ARE NO STRINGS ATTACHED, THEY ARE HOT FOR EACH OTHER it's just my kyuwon bias speaking BUT IDK THIS SAYS THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING BETWEEN IN BETWEEN, THERE IS SOMETHING THERE...or maybe i am just looking too much into this either that or i ♥ kyuwon way to much T_T
Kyuhyun is used to it.
I COULD GET USED TO THIS LIFE LESS KYU, YOU AND HELLVY THROW AT ME.
Kyuhyun wonders if Siwon fucks Donghae
OKAY I KNOW THIS IS ABOUT HOW KYUHYUN AND SIWON JUST FUCK EACH OTHER AND DONT CARE BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING INVOLVED BUT IDK I HAVE KYUWON BIAS THE SIZE OF /INSERT SOMETHING THAT IS VERY BIG/ SO I AM LOOKING WAY TOO MUCH INTO THIS, BUT I AM THINKING KYUHYUN CARES ABIT ABOUT WHAT SIWON DOES OOOOOOOOOOOR IT'S JUST ME ;____________________;
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HERE IT COMES I FEEL IT, THE QMI IT'S STARTING T___________________T
There is no innocence in Zhou Mi’s eyes, but when Zhou Mi smiles at him that changes.
;__________________;
Zhou Mi says nothing, just opens his arms to hold him
BECAUSE ZHOU MI IS PRECIOUS AND UNDERSTANDING LIKE THAT
Siwon is cold and Zhou Mi is warm.
SOBS Y U MAKE SIWON LIKE THIS?
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/throws fluffy romantic chessy kyuwon at you guys
I SHALL RETURN WITH A FLUFFY ROMANTIC KYUWON, I SHALL
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*because i was a bit confuse with the other. XDDD fail!me*
anyway. why do i feel that kyu is being used and he likes it.
(",)
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I'm glad you liked it bb <3
Thank you
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I'm not dreaming am I?
*rubs her eyes & reads again*
YOU ACTUALLY WROTE KYUWON? LIKE...KYUWON??
TEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
\O///////////////
I was spazzing with Hellvy the other day about the awesomeness that is KyuWon & she said she would write them but yours was totally unexpected
girl! ILUSM!
showers u with love*
you totally deserve the sexy Siwon icon
*off to read*
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KYUWOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN. ♥
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But then, when has anything ever been fair?
--> exactly what I'm thinking!
but first, let me sob at the sheer beauty of this /sobs
my heart is just broken for the 3 of them, idk who's suffering the most: Mimi who can't stop loving Kyu despite his coldness, Kyu who's about to learn how to love but has to start from scratch again whenever Siwon comes back or Wonnie oh my poor baby! why are u always so evil & mean to my baby? *holds him tight & transforms into a boy for his sake* (or you can always make Heechul or Geng love him --> SiHanChul hints)
I actually think Kyu loves both of them in a very weird & unique way
I loved Hellvy's drabble & this is just pure beauty
I feel there's still place for you to explore things from Siwon's POV, that would be interesting (& even more angsty which the angst-sucker that I am can only approve of)
Ana you awesome girl, thank you
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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I feel so bad for Mimi! Like he loves Kyu and even though he knows he's being used and Kyu can't love him back he still let's himself be used because it's his only way to be close to him. Gah. Just gahh.
And Kyu feels this loyalty to Siwon even though he's gets treated roughly because he knows that Siwon needs him. Ashgskaslhf.
You're awesome.
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Thanks for reading bb ^^
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What was it that called you to read this? The qmi or the kyuwon? /curious
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ANA YOU'RE BACK~~~~
I'M GONNA READ "ARRANGEMENT" NOW.
I LOVE YOU~~~
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Hope you have fun with the qmimin D;
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Anyhoo~
Zhoumi is such a sweet heart~ Its a fact *sighs*
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Thanks for reading ^^
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I feel for Kyu here and my heart breaks for Mi,and poor poor confused Siwon.
Whomsoever had the idea, thanks for writing it all, both of you.
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and i like this story hahhahaha...quite little bit blush hehehe...when read this story
btw i think siwon belong to hannie hahhahhaha.....hannie belong to chulie :)
zhoumi always gentle, calm and more understanding
thats i love about him
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thank you for reading ^^
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thanks ^^
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This was really god. And sad. :( So sad. Poor Mimi. And even more so poor Kyu... And stupid Siwon. *Swats*
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yeah, Hellvy writes great angst that inspires more angst.
glad you liked it :)
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