static_abyss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
static_abyss) wrote2011-03-23 04:03 pm
static_abyss) wrote2011-03-23 04:03 pm
Entry tags:
Companions-Story 1
Title: Companions
Pairing: kihaehyuk side: Hanchul, Qmimin, Kihyuk, Eunhae
Genre: vampire!au, dark, some angst
Rating: R
Summary: Kibum has always been alone, from the moment of his conception to the moment he died and he is tired of it. All he wants, all he has ever wanted was some company.
Note: This is for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sweetnspices because she requested a vampire fic back during the Ice Age. A special thanks to zaboomafoo76 and moonfox35 for helping me with this.
cross posted at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
babyneorago
A/N: This is forsweetnspices because she requested this a long time ago and I haven't gotten to writing it. I promise to have the hanchul part up soon and then I'll have the qmimin and the shihan back story so yay we all win. \0/ Also just as another note. Please help Japan and bid on my thread I will be super nice and make it extra good I promise and you can donate to the charity of your choice. More info @ help_japan
They’re his twins, his wonderful twins. The two of them together paint a perfect picture and Kibum is sure that he will keep them forever. He does not think he loves them, probably doesn’t ever want to love them because bad things can happen when you love them. But, sometimes it is hard not to love them. It isn’t about the protection as Heechul likes to say.
If it were about protection then they’re companions wouldn’t be weaker than they were. If it were about protection then Heechul wouldn’t have risked it with Han Geng. Kibum had been young when Heechul met Han Geng. He’d been new and he was learning to hunt, to prey, to let go of the things called human morals. Heechul and Zhou Mi were his trainers, but Kibum got along better with Heechul. Heechul taught him things, how to avoid attachment. Zhou Mi on the other hand encouraged attachment.
Kibum liked Heechul better. He never understood why Zhou Mi found it normal to talk to the human boy, to befriend him, to get to know him. Zhou Mi raised the child from the moment he killed his mother to the moment the boy was 21 years old. They were too close in Kibum’s opinion. When you have someone that close to you, it could mean danger…or so that was what Kibum wanted to think, what Heechul wanted to think.
But, over the years Kibum learned better. He knew better than to believe that detachment would make him happy. If he really believed that then he wouldn’t have sought out his two companions. If he truly believed that being alone was the best way to go he would have turned away. But, they had their weaknesses. It seemed to Kibum that for every one of them the weakness was the same. It manifested itself in different ways, but it was the same. They liked to lie to themselves but it was there for all of them.
They didn’t want to be alone.
It was one thing to have the one who turned you, but when you became independent, then it was lonely. It was lonely when Heechul set his eyes on the sad, brown eyes of the Chinese foreigner. Beautiful eyes, Heechul had said. Eyes that looked right through your soul. Kibum hadn’t understood what that meant until he had found his.
It was a broken heart that had ruined Han Geng, a broken heart and a man named Siwon. Heechul had been there when Han Geng found out he was dying. Heechul had taken his hand, had offered him salvation and Han Geng had accepted. Ever since then he hadn’t been Han Geng; he was Hankyung. Siwon, the poor boy, had been heartbroken when he found out that Han Geng was “dead.” Kibum had been expecting hatred then. He had been expecting Hankyung to turn on Heechul, to demand to know why Heechul turned him if Siwon loved him. But, he’d never heard it.
He remembers watching Hankyung cry. He remembers Heechul holding the Chinese man close, remembers the soft words, the way Heechul eased Hankyung away from it all. In that time, Siwon and Hankyung would have never been happy together and Hankyung was dying anyway. Hankyung didn’t reproach Heechul anything. He thanked him. And Kibum watched as they got closer, as Hankyung let himself go, as Heechul lost himself in those eyes. It wasn’t about detachment because Kibum craved company.
He thought he would get over it. But, then he saw Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun and the way it was more than just master and fledgling. It was more than that because Zhou Mi knew Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun loved Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi had saved Kyuhyun, had turned him because that car accident would have killed him and Kyuhyun belonged to Zhou Mi. It was another relationship that Kibum had to see, another thing to crave.
He was alone, but not lonely then. The loneliness came after. It came when he saw that Hankyung still went to visit Siwon’s grave, that Heechul went with him and held his hand. It came because Hankyung still went, at first every week, then every year and because time became irrelevant after a while, every ten years. Hankyung went to the same spot and prayed in that ancient Chinese tongue that would mean nothing now. All the while Heechul stayed and when Hankyung was done, he always went back and took Heechul’s hand. It was that connection, that perfect unity. It was that that Kibum craved.
He would have been able to deal with that too, but then Sungmin came. Sungmin wanted to die. Zhou Mi saved him, gave him a better alternative. With Zhou Mi and Sungmin there was no hate. There was a simple understanding, a connection so strong it was almost impossible for Kibum to understand it. Kyuhyun was never a problem because Kyuhyun always loved Zhou Mi and because he loved Zhou Mi, he learned to love Sungmin.
It was all the caring, the way they all said one thing but showed another. It was that that made Kibum crave the company. It was what brought him to this moment now.
“What are you thinking about?”
Donghae is looking up at him from where he is lying down on Kibum’s lap. They’re in the library on one of the couches. Eunhyuk is sitting on Kibum’s left, his right side pressed against Kibum’s side from shoulder to feet. They are his. He made them. He took them from the life they would have lived. He took away their innocence and made him his.
“I was thinking about you two.” Kibum says because he wants to try telling the truth.
Eunhyuk puts his book down and puts his fingers on Kibum’s neck. Kibum stills because it is one thing to offer your neck during sex, but it is another completely to have your pet touching your neck. He doesn’t stop Eunhyuk because he wants the intimacy. He wants it and if Eunhyuk is willing to offer it now, he is not going to move away.
Donghae shifts on his lap so that he’s sitting, both hands on Kibum’s shoulders as those big brown eyes look at Kibum. Out of the two of them, Kibum wanted Donghae the most. He saw Donghae first and wanted him for no other reason than because he wanted to be Donghae. He had watched him from afar. He knew Donghae. And because he knew Donghae, he met Eunhyuk.
“What about us?” Donghae asks.
Kibum laughs. “I was thinking about how you two were before I changed you.”
Eunhyuk shifts again and then he’s kissing Kibum. Donghae moves his lips over Kibum’s neck and Kibum lets them take over. He lets them touch and feel and he lets go, barely hisses when Donghae bites down on his neck. Exchanging blood like this, between them, is dirty. They never do it, never because it is wrong, but Kibum has found so much closeness in it and he wants it.
He can feel Donghae’s heart thudding with his. He opens his eyes and it’s like he’s seeing double. He can see Eunhyuk still kissing him and at the same time he is seeing what Donghae sees. He can almost feel Donghae inside him like a light warming him from the inside. It’s like he can read Donghae and he knows Donghae can read him too. He knows because what Donghae sees he sees.
He is expecting the bite from Eunhyuk and then everything turns a shade of white hot pleasure as the three of them come together, minds as one. Kibum has never had the proper walls built. He has never worried that someone would see inside him because he never let anyone this close. He knows there are things that no one should ever see and those he has hidden away even from himself, but not all things are hiding.
He knows what Eunhyuk and Donghae are looking for and he doesn’t stop them. All he can do is swallow. It’s like they’re pouring intense pleasure into his neck. It’s like when you’re turned but better because he’s stronger now and he can bite back. He doesn’t even need to reach for Eunhyuk’s wrist before it’s there and so is Donghae’s. He takes one then the other and he lets them see. He lets them see what he has been hiding from them. He lets them see who he is and what he wants.
***
Kibum knows that he shouldn’t watch him, but there is something about the boy that has him captivated. It is the big browns eyes that remind him of the love Heechul has for Hankyung. It is the mess of brown hair that reminds him of the way Kyuhyun loves Zhou Mi. It is the innocence that makes him follow. The boy is coming out of his dorm that night and Kibum follows him, follows and watches the way he laughs. He watches until he hears someone call the boy.
Donghae.
Kibum follows Donghae because he wants to laugh too, but he can’t. He follows Donghae because he is everything Kibum wants to be but isn’t. He follows Donghae because in him Kibum can forget and pretend that he is like that. He can forget that he has to go and feed every night, go to a cold bed, hear Heechul and Hankyung, Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun and Sungmin. He can forget here because he can pretend that he is this Donghae.
He doesn’t mean to follow him every night, but before he knows it, it has become a ritual. And this night Donghae seems to be going a different way. He is out of his dorm later than usual and Kibum follows. He comes to a stop in the shadows as he watches where Donghae is going. There is a tree in the parking lot behind the dorm building Donghae just came out of. There are maybe two cars there and the tree standing along under a street light.
Kibum watches as Donghae stands there leaning against the tree. He waits maybe three minutes and then another boy is there. This boy is about the same height as Kibum’s Donghae. He has burgundy colored hair and pale skin. There is something serious in those dark eyes, something that disappears the moment Donghae hugs him.
It’s like someone is intruding on Kibum’s time. It’s like this kid is taking away what Kibum wants. Eunhyuk, Donghae calls him. This kid, Eunhyuk, is everywhere after that. He is there when Donghae goes back to the dorm. He is there when Donghae laughs, when Donghae cries. Kibum doesn’t like it because he can’t be Donghae if there is Eunhyuk. He can’t because when Eunhyuk is there Donghae isn’t just Donghae. He is Eunhyuk too and Kibum doesn’t know how to be both.
Kibum stops following them. He makes it through a week before he can’t take it anymore. It’s like he needs those brown eyes, those laughs and smiles. He craves the innocence, the rushing sound of blood coursing through veins, rich, dark, heavy on his tongue like he knows it’ll be. He wants to be there with them, to taste them, to know what it’s like to be loved.
He goes back to the tree first. He’s early and as he sits in the shadows he watches the tree. It’s painted a sepia brown shade by the light of the lamp. The leaves on the tree look dead, but it is beautiful. Like Kibum. He is dead, but beautiful, the only thing left to him. He watches the way the leaves sway in the breeze, the way they seem to invite him over.
Come, they tell him. Come and show them.
He wants to. He wants to stand under the tree and be there when Donghae comes out. He wants to be there when Eunhyuk comes. He wants them. He knows he wants them because he can never be like them. He does nothing and waits in the shadows. Eunhyuk is there first tonight and when Donghae comes their greeting is different. They kiss, embrace so tight there is no room anywhere for anything. He watches as they tell each other in embraces and kisses and words how much they love each other.
It takes them a year and three months before they’re pulling at clothes, hands fumbling to pull the offending material off. Kibum is watching because he knows nothing but them anymore. He doesn’t feed as often as he should. He is rarely home. He doesn’t talk to the others. He lives for them because he wants what they have. He wants that connection. He wants the way Donghae smiles at Eunhyuk, wants the way Eunhyuk takes Donghae’s hand. He wants them, to be them. He is jealous, jealous of Eunhyuk, of Donghae, of both of them.
He is there when Eunhyuk slams Donghae against the alley wall. He is there when Donghae’s hands are fumbling with zippers. He is there when Donghae falls to his knees, eyes dark, hair falling over his eyes. Kibum watches and wishes it were him there, in those eyes, in those cries, in the way they love each other. He wishes he could be them, could feel what Eunhyuk is feeling as Donghae wraps his mouth over him. He wishes he could be the one on that wall as Donghae works his perfect mouth, slow at first then picking up as Eunhyuk encourages him.
Kibum watches because he wants it almost as bad as he wanted to be human again in the beginning. He wishes it were him Eunhyuk was touching, that it were him Eunhyuk was gasping for. He wishes that Eunhyuk would look at him like that, that Donghae would look at him like that. He stays and watches and wants. And when they finish, both spent and tired, he turns and walks away.
***
Donghae and Eunhyuk pull away at the exact same time but Kibum isn’t surprised. These are his twins, his beautiful mirror images. They flow together in beautiful ways that still mesmerize Kibum. He cares for them, might even love them, but he can’t be too sure. Part of him still thinks that any two will do, that he can easily get rid of them if they become too much trouble. Part of him denies that he loves them because they love each other and he is extra, was extra from the beginning. He might have even forced them to love him.
Donghae moves and Eunhyuk moves with him. They both end up on Kibum’s lap again, facing each other. Their lips are stained dark red from his blood, always darker than that of a human, deep rich red, like thick chocolate, so easy to lick off. Kibum wants to, from both their lips, but instead he lets his hand fall to the soft brown hair. He moves his hand, pressing hard because his kind can’t feel pain. Eunhyuk and Donghae come together too easily.
“Eunhyuk.” Donghae whispers.
He watches as they kiss, tongues running over lips to lick away the blood. He’s always watched them. He will forever watch them.
***
He turns Eunhyuk first because Eunhyuk sees him first. It is messy and noisy and there is a lot of fighting. Donghae doesn’t let it go that easily. Kibum actually thinks he’s going to have to break Donghae’s neck, but doesn’t because Eunhyuk pulls him off.
“Run!” Eunhyuk says as Kibum’s hand closes around his throat. “Get out of here Hae!”
“No!” Donghae says.
“Please.” Eunhyuk whispers.
Donghae pauses for only a minute and then he’s running, his open shirt trailing behind him. Kibum knows that Donghae will back and then Kibum will take him too. He turns back to Eunhyuk who knows better that to struggle. His eyes follow that milky white skin of his stomach. Eunhyuk has no shirt on. It’s lying somewhere in the alley, discarded somewhere between the fifth or sixth moan.
Kibum lets his eyes follow the slop of Eunhyuk’s neck, the pulsing vein on the side of that exquisite neck. It is calling him. He can almost taste the warm liquid filling his mouth, flowing down his throat like a caress, warm and heavy, delicious. Kibum looks away for a second into those dark eyes. There is fear, tainted a bit by anger, but Kibum likes it this way. He likes knowing that the blood will be slightly bitter from the anger, thick from the fear, eventually creamy because they all give in to the pleasure.
“You will be beautiful.” Kibum tells him. “More so than you are now and you’ll be with him forever.”
There is no hesitation in Eunhyuk’s eyes, no hint that he wants this, but Kibum has waited too long, has been alone for far too long. He puts one hand around Eunhyuk bringing that body flush against his. His other hand pushes Eunhyuk’s head to the side, gently because he wants him whole when he’s turned. The pulsing vein is teasing him and he gives in. His fangs slide over his lips as he sinks them into the warm flesh, so soft, so easily breakable. The skin tears and warm liquid is spilling into his mouth, warming him from head to toe.
It’s like fire but better because you can’t be burned, warm, hot and perfect. It warms the coldness in Kibum, in his heart, in his body. He can hear Eunhyuk’s heart fighting to pump the blood that Kibum is taking. He can feel as their hearts come together, Kibum’s speeding up and Eunhyuk’s slowing down. Warm. Delicious. His.
He lets himself feed until Eunhyuk is limp in his arms and then he waits. He waits for Eunhyuk’s heart to slow down to the point where it almost stops and even then Eunhyuk resists. Kibum has to force his cut wrist into Eunhyuk’s mouth, but then Eunhyuk is pulling, lips covering the wound, sucking. Kibum makes a strangled noise. He is not ready for the intense pleasure, the way his body is reacting to this and neither is Eunhyuk it seems.
Kibum doesn’t understand what happened. He has never turned anyone and he’s never asked what happened when Heechul and Zhou Mi did it, so he is not ready for the way he is suddenly hungry, starving, but in a very different way. Eunhyuk looks beautiful in the pale light, his human features will be gone within a few hours and Kibum wants to make sure he has memorized them all.
Kibum is too busy (seems to get very distracted when it comes to Eunhyuk and Donghae) to notice that Eunhyuk is moving. When he realizes it, it’s because there are warm lips on his, hands fumbling to touch skin and Kibum gives in. There is warmth here, warmth he has never been able to offer all those others he fed from. He kisses back with the longing of 500 years, touches with the desperation of a madman. Eunhyuk is amazing at what he does, his hands moving, pulling, twisting in just the right way. When Kibum comes it is glorious because he hasn’t felt this way in 500 years.
Kibum should have known something was wrong then. That smug look just didn’t belong to the Eunhyuk he had followed for so long. Those dark eyes weren’t the eyes he had for so long wanted to see. There was something wrong, but when you are drunk on blood and sex there are things that slip the mind. They don’t turn Donghae that night and Kibum takes Eunhyuk with him. He teaches him, watches him, learns that Eunhyuk can feel pain too. He learns because he catches Eunhyuk following Donghae.
“He will never see you.” Kibum whispers into Eunhyuk’s ear.
They are in the alley, the one where Kibum turned Eunhyuk. It’s been a year and Donghae still comes, still cries, still calls Eunhyuk’s name. Eunhyuk does not seem surprised that Kibum is next to him, says nothing, just continues to watch the crying figure on the floor.
“Do you want him?” Kibum asks even though he knows the answer.
He is not alone now. He has Eunhyuk, but there is something different about Eunhyuk, something strange. Eunhyuk has cold dead eyes now, not the kind vampires have, but real cold, like the eyes of a corpse. There are no scruples in Eunhyuk’s killing. He would kill whoever he saw if Kibum didn’t stop him. It is as if Kibum has been given a devil and not the angel he was searching for. He is not alone, but he sometimes fears the look in Eunhyuk’s eyes.
“I want him.” Eunhyuk answers after a while. “But, I don’t want him to be this.”
Kibum sees the look in Eunhyuk’s eyes as he looks at Donghae and he is surprised to see the same warmth that captivated him. It is there, the glimmer of the old Eunhyuk. It is what Kibum wants and he knows then that the only way to have the Eunhyuk he wants is to get Donghae. It is not a problem for him because Kibum has always wanted the pair.
“There is no other way.” Kibum explains even as he steps out from the shadows. “If you want him, you have to make him like us.”
Kibum steps out, sees the horror in Donghae’s eyes and is suddenly very hungry.
“You.” Donghae says and there is so much hatred in it that Kibum stops for a second.
It is just a second though and then he has Donghae in his arms, wrapped tight as he leans down to bite.
“Stop.” Eunhyuk says coming out too. “Let him go.”
Donghae’s heart skips a beat and Kibum hears it. “Hyukkie.”
The look in those eyes is happy, so innocent. It makes Kibum all the more hungry and despite Eunhyuk’s words he bites. Donghae’s blood is different because Donghae is not afraid. Donghae is happy, happy to see Eunhyuk and the blood in Kibum’s mouth is thinner, sweeter.
***
Kibum looks down at the two in his lap. They’re lying with their heads next to each other, lips clean. They both look at him at the same time and he smirks. Kibum can still remember how angry Eunhyuk was when he turned Donghae, but he also remembers who it was that fed Donghae to bring him back.
Kibum looks at Eunhyuk and knows that for Donghae he would do anything. Then, he looks at Donghae and knows that he also would do anything for Eunhyuk. Kibum looks at them and wonders what they would do for him, if anything. He almost laughs out loud at that thought.
“What’s so funny?” Donghae asks because he has always been the more perceptive of his two.
“I’m still dirty.” Kibum says gesturing to his face where the blood has gone cold.
***
Kibum knows there is something wrong when he takes them feeding for the first time. The girl they catch is afraid and Kibum can tell from the look in her eyes that she is innocent. He can’t let them take her because that was not the way he was taught. You leave the innocent; leave them to their own lives.
He wants to tell them even as Eunhyuk sinks his fangs into the smoothness of the girl’s neck. He wants to tell them but Donghae’s eyes are wild and his expression is hungry as he bites down on the girl’s arm. Kibum wants to stop them, but can’t. He can’t because he has no right to tell them not to hurt the innocent. He can’t tell them because he has hurt the innocent.
He has taken Donghae and Eunhyuk away from the life they could have lived. He has taken them from their safe world, has thrown them into his lies and loneliness. He has brought them here where they have to hide and want. But, they came together. He brought them together so that they would never be alone, so that they would be happy here.
Kibum does nothing as the girl goes limp in their arms. He does nothing as he watches them, his dark twins. He can’t help himself as he watches the way they lick the blood off the girl, off each other’s faces. It’s like he’s hypnotized, mesmerized, captivated. It is the most erotic feeding he has ever seen. It’s like they’ve become twin angels of dark, his once pure angels.
It should set him off, should repulse him, but they’re there. They look at him and Kibum can’t stop himself. He takes Donghae’s face in his hand and licks the rest of the blood clean. Kibum feels Eunhyuk shiver with anticipation next to him and then he turns. There is a blur of arms and legs and bites. Kibum never knew what a vampire bite did to you, not until then. He thinks for a moment, amidst all the blinding pleasure, that his kind should feed off each other more often.
After that time, Kibum never has a problem with how Eunhyuk and Donghae feed, especially because of what comes after.
***
“You’re filthy.” Donghae says as he sits up again. “Let me help.”
Kibum laughs, his hand going to Donghae’s hip to keep him upright, not that Donghae needs help. Kibum waits, but it’s Eunhyuk who grabs his face. Eunhyuk looks at him, eyes dark, dark and cold like they were the minute he changed. Kibum can look at those eyes now because you have to accept your mistakes, embrace them, deal with the consequences.
His consequences are better than he imagined and he can’t seem to regret changing the two on his lap. They belong to him. Eunhyuk’s smooth tongue on his face proves it, the hands on his shoulders, the quiet sounds by his ear. With them he is not lonely, but he wouldn’t be lonely with any other two. This he repeats to himself, says it over and over so that he doesn’t forget. Yes, tomorrow it might not be them, but today it is and Kibum has learned, in his many years, that today is what matters the most.
“I’m hungry.” Kibum says. “Let’s go.”
A/N: So that was that and I hope it wasn't blah. A special thanks tozaboomafoo76 and moonfox35 for their help. I am celebrating today so celebrate with me =) yay for life altering decisions!!!!!!!
Pairing: kihaehyuk side: Hanchul, Qmimin, Kihyuk, Eunhae
Genre: vampire!au, dark, some angst
Rating: R
Summary: Kibum has always been alone, from the moment of his conception to the moment he died and he is tired of it. All he wants, all he has ever wanted was some company.
Note: This is for
sweetnspices because she requested a vampire fic back during the Ice Age. A special thanks to zaboomafoo76 and moonfox35 for helping me with this.cross posted at
babyneorago A/N: This is for
sweetnspices because she requested this a long time ago and I haven't gotten to writing it. I promise to have the hanchul part up soon and then I'll have the qmimin and the shihan back story so yay we all win. \0/ Also just as another note. Please help Japan and bid on my thread I will be super nice and make it extra good I promise and you can donate to the charity of your choice. More info @ help_japan They’re his twins, his wonderful twins. The two of them together paint a perfect picture and Kibum is sure that he will keep them forever. He does not think he loves them, probably doesn’t ever want to love them because bad things can happen when you love them. But, sometimes it is hard not to love them. It isn’t about the protection as Heechul likes to say.
If it were about protection then they’re companions wouldn’t be weaker than they were. If it were about protection then Heechul wouldn’t have risked it with Han Geng. Kibum had been young when Heechul met Han Geng. He’d been new and he was learning to hunt, to prey, to let go of the things called human morals. Heechul and Zhou Mi were his trainers, but Kibum got along better with Heechul. Heechul taught him things, how to avoid attachment. Zhou Mi on the other hand encouraged attachment.
Kibum liked Heechul better. He never understood why Zhou Mi found it normal to talk to the human boy, to befriend him, to get to know him. Zhou Mi raised the child from the moment he killed his mother to the moment the boy was 21 years old. They were too close in Kibum’s opinion. When you have someone that close to you, it could mean danger…or so that was what Kibum wanted to think, what Heechul wanted to think.
But, over the years Kibum learned better. He knew better than to believe that detachment would make him happy. If he really believed that then he wouldn’t have sought out his two companions. If he truly believed that being alone was the best way to go he would have turned away. But, they had their weaknesses. It seemed to Kibum that for every one of them the weakness was the same. It manifested itself in different ways, but it was the same. They liked to lie to themselves but it was there for all of them.
They didn’t want to be alone.
It was one thing to have the one who turned you, but when you became independent, then it was lonely. It was lonely when Heechul set his eyes on the sad, brown eyes of the Chinese foreigner. Beautiful eyes, Heechul had said. Eyes that looked right through your soul. Kibum hadn’t understood what that meant until he had found his.
It was a broken heart that had ruined Han Geng, a broken heart and a man named Siwon. Heechul had been there when Han Geng found out he was dying. Heechul had taken his hand, had offered him salvation and Han Geng had accepted. Ever since then he hadn’t been Han Geng; he was Hankyung. Siwon, the poor boy, had been heartbroken when he found out that Han Geng was “dead.” Kibum had been expecting hatred then. He had been expecting Hankyung to turn on Heechul, to demand to know why Heechul turned him if Siwon loved him. But, he’d never heard it.
He remembers watching Hankyung cry. He remembers Heechul holding the Chinese man close, remembers the soft words, the way Heechul eased Hankyung away from it all. In that time, Siwon and Hankyung would have never been happy together and Hankyung was dying anyway. Hankyung didn’t reproach Heechul anything. He thanked him. And Kibum watched as they got closer, as Hankyung let himself go, as Heechul lost himself in those eyes. It wasn’t about detachment because Kibum craved company.
He thought he would get over it. But, then he saw Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun and the way it was more than just master and fledgling. It was more than that because Zhou Mi knew Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun loved Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi had saved Kyuhyun, had turned him because that car accident would have killed him and Kyuhyun belonged to Zhou Mi. It was another relationship that Kibum had to see, another thing to crave.
He was alone, but not lonely then. The loneliness came after. It came when he saw that Hankyung still went to visit Siwon’s grave, that Heechul went with him and held his hand. It came because Hankyung still went, at first every week, then every year and because time became irrelevant after a while, every ten years. Hankyung went to the same spot and prayed in that ancient Chinese tongue that would mean nothing now. All the while Heechul stayed and when Hankyung was done, he always went back and took Heechul’s hand. It was that connection, that perfect unity. It was that that Kibum craved.
He would have been able to deal with that too, but then Sungmin came. Sungmin wanted to die. Zhou Mi saved him, gave him a better alternative. With Zhou Mi and Sungmin there was no hate. There was a simple understanding, a connection so strong it was almost impossible for Kibum to understand it. Kyuhyun was never a problem because Kyuhyun always loved Zhou Mi and because he loved Zhou Mi, he learned to love Sungmin.
It was all the caring, the way they all said one thing but showed another. It was that that made Kibum crave the company. It was what brought him to this moment now.
“What are you thinking about?”
Donghae is looking up at him from where he is lying down on Kibum’s lap. They’re in the library on one of the couches. Eunhyuk is sitting on Kibum’s left, his right side pressed against Kibum’s side from shoulder to feet. They are his. He made them. He took them from the life they would have lived. He took away their innocence and made him his.
“I was thinking about you two.” Kibum says because he wants to try telling the truth.
Eunhyuk puts his book down and puts his fingers on Kibum’s neck. Kibum stills because it is one thing to offer your neck during sex, but it is another completely to have your pet touching your neck. He doesn’t stop Eunhyuk because he wants the intimacy. He wants it and if Eunhyuk is willing to offer it now, he is not going to move away.
Donghae shifts on his lap so that he’s sitting, both hands on Kibum’s shoulders as those big brown eyes look at Kibum. Out of the two of them, Kibum wanted Donghae the most. He saw Donghae first and wanted him for no other reason than because he wanted to be Donghae. He had watched him from afar. He knew Donghae. And because he knew Donghae, he met Eunhyuk.
“What about us?” Donghae asks.
Kibum laughs. “I was thinking about how you two were before I changed you.”
Eunhyuk shifts again and then he’s kissing Kibum. Donghae moves his lips over Kibum’s neck and Kibum lets them take over. He lets them touch and feel and he lets go, barely hisses when Donghae bites down on his neck. Exchanging blood like this, between them, is dirty. They never do it, never because it is wrong, but Kibum has found so much closeness in it and he wants it.
He can feel Donghae’s heart thudding with his. He opens his eyes and it’s like he’s seeing double. He can see Eunhyuk still kissing him and at the same time he is seeing what Donghae sees. He can almost feel Donghae inside him like a light warming him from the inside. It’s like he can read Donghae and he knows Donghae can read him too. He knows because what Donghae sees he sees.
He is expecting the bite from Eunhyuk and then everything turns a shade of white hot pleasure as the three of them come together, minds as one. Kibum has never had the proper walls built. He has never worried that someone would see inside him because he never let anyone this close. He knows there are things that no one should ever see and those he has hidden away even from himself, but not all things are hiding.
He knows what Eunhyuk and Donghae are looking for and he doesn’t stop them. All he can do is swallow. It’s like they’re pouring intense pleasure into his neck. It’s like when you’re turned but better because he’s stronger now and he can bite back. He doesn’t even need to reach for Eunhyuk’s wrist before it’s there and so is Donghae’s. He takes one then the other and he lets them see. He lets them see what he has been hiding from them. He lets them see who he is and what he wants.
***
Kibum knows that he shouldn’t watch him, but there is something about the boy that has him captivated. It is the big browns eyes that remind him of the love Heechul has for Hankyung. It is the mess of brown hair that reminds him of the way Kyuhyun loves Zhou Mi. It is the innocence that makes him follow. The boy is coming out of his dorm that night and Kibum follows him, follows and watches the way he laughs. He watches until he hears someone call the boy.
Donghae.
Kibum follows Donghae because he wants to laugh too, but he can’t. He follows Donghae because he is everything Kibum wants to be but isn’t. He follows Donghae because in him Kibum can forget and pretend that he is like that. He can forget that he has to go and feed every night, go to a cold bed, hear Heechul and Hankyung, Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun and Sungmin. He can forget here because he can pretend that he is this Donghae.
He doesn’t mean to follow him every night, but before he knows it, it has become a ritual. And this night Donghae seems to be going a different way. He is out of his dorm later than usual and Kibum follows. He comes to a stop in the shadows as he watches where Donghae is going. There is a tree in the parking lot behind the dorm building Donghae just came out of. There are maybe two cars there and the tree standing along under a street light.
Kibum watches as Donghae stands there leaning against the tree. He waits maybe three minutes and then another boy is there. This boy is about the same height as Kibum’s Donghae. He has burgundy colored hair and pale skin. There is something serious in those dark eyes, something that disappears the moment Donghae hugs him.
It’s like someone is intruding on Kibum’s time. It’s like this kid is taking away what Kibum wants. Eunhyuk, Donghae calls him. This kid, Eunhyuk, is everywhere after that. He is there when Donghae goes back to the dorm. He is there when Donghae laughs, when Donghae cries. Kibum doesn’t like it because he can’t be Donghae if there is Eunhyuk. He can’t because when Eunhyuk is there Donghae isn’t just Donghae. He is Eunhyuk too and Kibum doesn’t know how to be both.
Kibum stops following them. He makes it through a week before he can’t take it anymore. It’s like he needs those brown eyes, those laughs and smiles. He craves the innocence, the rushing sound of blood coursing through veins, rich, dark, heavy on his tongue like he knows it’ll be. He wants to be there with them, to taste them, to know what it’s like to be loved.
He goes back to the tree first. He’s early and as he sits in the shadows he watches the tree. It’s painted a sepia brown shade by the light of the lamp. The leaves on the tree look dead, but it is beautiful. Like Kibum. He is dead, but beautiful, the only thing left to him. He watches the way the leaves sway in the breeze, the way they seem to invite him over.
Come, they tell him. Come and show them.
He wants to. He wants to stand under the tree and be there when Donghae comes out. He wants to be there when Eunhyuk comes. He wants them. He knows he wants them because he can never be like them. He does nothing and waits in the shadows. Eunhyuk is there first tonight and when Donghae comes their greeting is different. They kiss, embrace so tight there is no room anywhere for anything. He watches as they tell each other in embraces and kisses and words how much they love each other.
It takes them a year and three months before they’re pulling at clothes, hands fumbling to pull the offending material off. Kibum is watching because he knows nothing but them anymore. He doesn’t feed as often as he should. He is rarely home. He doesn’t talk to the others. He lives for them because he wants what they have. He wants that connection. He wants the way Donghae smiles at Eunhyuk, wants the way Eunhyuk takes Donghae’s hand. He wants them, to be them. He is jealous, jealous of Eunhyuk, of Donghae, of both of them.
He is there when Eunhyuk slams Donghae against the alley wall. He is there when Donghae’s hands are fumbling with zippers. He is there when Donghae falls to his knees, eyes dark, hair falling over his eyes. Kibum watches and wishes it were him there, in those eyes, in those cries, in the way they love each other. He wishes he could be them, could feel what Eunhyuk is feeling as Donghae wraps his mouth over him. He wishes he could be the one on that wall as Donghae works his perfect mouth, slow at first then picking up as Eunhyuk encourages him.
Kibum watches because he wants it almost as bad as he wanted to be human again in the beginning. He wishes it were him Eunhyuk was touching, that it were him Eunhyuk was gasping for. He wishes that Eunhyuk would look at him like that, that Donghae would look at him like that. He stays and watches and wants. And when they finish, both spent and tired, he turns and walks away.
***
Donghae and Eunhyuk pull away at the exact same time but Kibum isn’t surprised. These are his twins, his beautiful mirror images. They flow together in beautiful ways that still mesmerize Kibum. He cares for them, might even love them, but he can’t be too sure. Part of him still thinks that any two will do, that he can easily get rid of them if they become too much trouble. Part of him denies that he loves them because they love each other and he is extra, was extra from the beginning. He might have even forced them to love him.
Donghae moves and Eunhyuk moves with him. They both end up on Kibum’s lap again, facing each other. Their lips are stained dark red from his blood, always darker than that of a human, deep rich red, like thick chocolate, so easy to lick off. Kibum wants to, from both their lips, but instead he lets his hand fall to the soft brown hair. He moves his hand, pressing hard because his kind can’t feel pain. Eunhyuk and Donghae come together too easily.
“Eunhyuk.” Donghae whispers.
He watches as they kiss, tongues running over lips to lick away the blood. He’s always watched them. He will forever watch them.
***
He turns Eunhyuk first because Eunhyuk sees him first. It is messy and noisy and there is a lot of fighting. Donghae doesn’t let it go that easily. Kibum actually thinks he’s going to have to break Donghae’s neck, but doesn’t because Eunhyuk pulls him off.
“Run!” Eunhyuk says as Kibum’s hand closes around his throat. “Get out of here Hae!”
“No!” Donghae says.
“Please.” Eunhyuk whispers.
Donghae pauses for only a minute and then he’s running, his open shirt trailing behind him. Kibum knows that Donghae will back and then Kibum will take him too. He turns back to Eunhyuk who knows better that to struggle. His eyes follow that milky white skin of his stomach. Eunhyuk has no shirt on. It’s lying somewhere in the alley, discarded somewhere between the fifth or sixth moan.
Kibum lets his eyes follow the slop of Eunhyuk’s neck, the pulsing vein on the side of that exquisite neck. It is calling him. He can almost taste the warm liquid filling his mouth, flowing down his throat like a caress, warm and heavy, delicious. Kibum looks away for a second into those dark eyes. There is fear, tainted a bit by anger, but Kibum likes it this way. He likes knowing that the blood will be slightly bitter from the anger, thick from the fear, eventually creamy because they all give in to the pleasure.
“You will be beautiful.” Kibum tells him. “More so than you are now and you’ll be with him forever.”
There is no hesitation in Eunhyuk’s eyes, no hint that he wants this, but Kibum has waited too long, has been alone for far too long. He puts one hand around Eunhyuk bringing that body flush against his. His other hand pushes Eunhyuk’s head to the side, gently because he wants him whole when he’s turned. The pulsing vein is teasing him and he gives in. His fangs slide over his lips as he sinks them into the warm flesh, so soft, so easily breakable. The skin tears and warm liquid is spilling into his mouth, warming him from head to toe.
It’s like fire but better because you can’t be burned, warm, hot and perfect. It warms the coldness in Kibum, in his heart, in his body. He can hear Eunhyuk’s heart fighting to pump the blood that Kibum is taking. He can feel as their hearts come together, Kibum’s speeding up and Eunhyuk’s slowing down. Warm. Delicious. His.
He lets himself feed until Eunhyuk is limp in his arms and then he waits. He waits for Eunhyuk’s heart to slow down to the point where it almost stops and even then Eunhyuk resists. Kibum has to force his cut wrist into Eunhyuk’s mouth, but then Eunhyuk is pulling, lips covering the wound, sucking. Kibum makes a strangled noise. He is not ready for the intense pleasure, the way his body is reacting to this and neither is Eunhyuk it seems.
Kibum doesn’t understand what happened. He has never turned anyone and he’s never asked what happened when Heechul and Zhou Mi did it, so he is not ready for the way he is suddenly hungry, starving, but in a very different way. Eunhyuk looks beautiful in the pale light, his human features will be gone within a few hours and Kibum wants to make sure he has memorized them all.
Kibum is too busy (seems to get very distracted when it comes to Eunhyuk and Donghae) to notice that Eunhyuk is moving. When he realizes it, it’s because there are warm lips on his, hands fumbling to touch skin and Kibum gives in. There is warmth here, warmth he has never been able to offer all those others he fed from. He kisses back with the longing of 500 years, touches with the desperation of a madman. Eunhyuk is amazing at what he does, his hands moving, pulling, twisting in just the right way. When Kibum comes it is glorious because he hasn’t felt this way in 500 years.
Kibum should have known something was wrong then. That smug look just didn’t belong to the Eunhyuk he had followed for so long. Those dark eyes weren’t the eyes he had for so long wanted to see. There was something wrong, but when you are drunk on blood and sex there are things that slip the mind. They don’t turn Donghae that night and Kibum takes Eunhyuk with him. He teaches him, watches him, learns that Eunhyuk can feel pain too. He learns because he catches Eunhyuk following Donghae.
“He will never see you.” Kibum whispers into Eunhyuk’s ear.
They are in the alley, the one where Kibum turned Eunhyuk. It’s been a year and Donghae still comes, still cries, still calls Eunhyuk’s name. Eunhyuk does not seem surprised that Kibum is next to him, says nothing, just continues to watch the crying figure on the floor.
“Do you want him?” Kibum asks even though he knows the answer.
He is not alone now. He has Eunhyuk, but there is something different about Eunhyuk, something strange. Eunhyuk has cold dead eyes now, not the kind vampires have, but real cold, like the eyes of a corpse. There are no scruples in Eunhyuk’s killing. He would kill whoever he saw if Kibum didn’t stop him. It is as if Kibum has been given a devil and not the angel he was searching for. He is not alone, but he sometimes fears the look in Eunhyuk’s eyes.
“I want him.” Eunhyuk answers after a while. “But, I don’t want him to be this.”
Kibum sees the look in Eunhyuk’s eyes as he looks at Donghae and he is surprised to see the same warmth that captivated him. It is there, the glimmer of the old Eunhyuk. It is what Kibum wants and he knows then that the only way to have the Eunhyuk he wants is to get Donghae. It is not a problem for him because Kibum has always wanted the pair.
“There is no other way.” Kibum explains even as he steps out from the shadows. “If you want him, you have to make him like us.”
Kibum steps out, sees the horror in Donghae’s eyes and is suddenly very hungry.
“You.” Donghae says and there is so much hatred in it that Kibum stops for a second.
It is just a second though and then he has Donghae in his arms, wrapped tight as he leans down to bite.
“Stop.” Eunhyuk says coming out too. “Let him go.”
Donghae’s heart skips a beat and Kibum hears it. “Hyukkie.”
The look in those eyes is happy, so innocent. It makes Kibum all the more hungry and despite Eunhyuk’s words he bites. Donghae’s blood is different because Donghae is not afraid. Donghae is happy, happy to see Eunhyuk and the blood in Kibum’s mouth is thinner, sweeter.
***
Kibum looks down at the two in his lap. They’re lying with their heads next to each other, lips clean. They both look at him at the same time and he smirks. Kibum can still remember how angry Eunhyuk was when he turned Donghae, but he also remembers who it was that fed Donghae to bring him back.
Kibum looks at Eunhyuk and knows that for Donghae he would do anything. Then, he looks at Donghae and knows that he also would do anything for Eunhyuk. Kibum looks at them and wonders what they would do for him, if anything. He almost laughs out loud at that thought.
“What’s so funny?” Donghae asks because he has always been the more perceptive of his two.
“I’m still dirty.” Kibum says gesturing to his face where the blood has gone cold.
***
Kibum knows there is something wrong when he takes them feeding for the first time. The girl they catch is afraid and Kibum can tell from the look in her eyes that she is innocent. He can’t let them take her because that was not the way he was taught. You leave the innocent; leave them to their own lives.
He wants to tell them even as Eunhyuk sinks his fangs into the smoothness of the girl’s neck. He wants to tell them but Donghae’s eyes are wild and his expression is hungry as he bites down on the girl’s arm. Kibum wants to stop them, but can’t. He can’t because he has no right to tell them not to hurt the innocent. He can’t tell them because he has hurt the innocent.
He has taken Donghae and Eunhyuk away from the life they could have lived. He has taken them from their safe world, has thrown them into his lies and loneliness. He has brought them here where they have to hide and want. But, they came together. He brought them together so that they would never be alone, so that they would be happy here.
Kibum does nothing as the girl goes limp in their arms. He does nothing as he watches them, his dark twins. He can’t help himself as he watches the way they lick the blood off the girl, off each other’s faces. It’s like he’s hypnotized, mesmerized, captivated. It is the most erotic feeding he has ever seen. It’s like they’ve become twin angels of dark, his once pure angels.
It should set him off, should repulse him, but they’re there. They look at him and Kibum can’t stop himself. He takes Donghae’s face in his hand and licks the rest of the blood clean. Kibum feels Eunhyuk shiver with anticipation next to him and then he turns. There is a blur of arms and legs and bites. Kibum never knew what a vampire bite did to you, not until then. He thinks for a moment, amidst all the blinding pleasure, that his kind should feed off each other more often.
After that time, Kibum never has a problem with how Eunhyuk and Donghae feed, especially because of what comes after.
***
“You’re filthy.” Donghae says as he sits up again. “Let me help.”
Kibum laughs, his hand going to Donghae’s hip to keep him upright, not that Donghae needs help. Kibum waits, but it’s Eunhyuk who grabs his face. Eunhyuk looks at him, eyes dark, dark and cold like they were the minute he changed. Kibum can look at those eyes now because you have to accept your mistakes, embrace them, deal with the consequences.
His consequences are better than he imagined and he can’t seem to regret changing the two on his lap. They belong to him. Eunhyuk’s smooth tongue on his face proves it, the hands on his shoulders, the quiet sounds by his ear. With them he is not lonely, but he wouldn’t be lonely with any other two. This he repeats to himself, says it over and over so that he doesn’t forget. Yes, tomorrow it might not be them, but today it is and Kibum has learned, in his many years, that today is what matters the most.
“I’m hungry.” Kibum says. “Let’s go.”
A/N: So that was that and I hope it wasn't blah. A special thanks to
zaboomafoo76 and moonfox35 for their help. I am celebrating today so celebrate with me =) yay for life altering decisions!!!!!!!
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THE EUNHAE IS SO WONDERFULLY HOT AND LOVING, THROW KIBUM IN AND WE HAVE HOT AND DARK AND SEXY!!!
*quotes everything*
HOW ARE YOU SO WONDERFUL!?!?! I JUST WANT TO QUOTE EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE! EVERY! SINGLE! SENTENCE!!! unfortunately comments can't be that long, so just pretend i quoted everything...
VAMPIRE FICS~!! HANCHUL!!! KYUMIMIN!!! KIHAEHYUK!!! *needs a KiHaeHyuk icon*
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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DOES THAT MEAN THERE WILL BE MORE? BECAUSE I WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST DAUGHTER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR IF SO :D:D:D:D
This almost felt like Kibum was an outsider and had more EunHae with Kibum watching but idk. That way is good too, because it's impossible to break up the EunHae.
It's dark and creepy and sad and angsty and I feel the most bad for Eunhyuk in this story, actually. I wouldn't want my love turned either but he's torn cause he wants to be with him forever... idk. There still seems to be some lingering resentment on Eunhyuk's part but it seems that Donghae is ok for the most part.
HOW DO YOU WRITE BLOODY MURDER SO DAMN WELL AND MAKE IT SO WONDERFULLY DELICIOUS? YOU AMAZE MEEEEE~
Seriously I hope to be as productive as you and Andi during summer vacation when I actually have some time on my hands OTL <3333333333333333
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I am happy that you liked it <3
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This is an au with multiple fics in it. so yes?
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this is great!!! i can't wait for the next part-
i love all of your descriptions gahhh!
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I am happy that you liked it!
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seriously Ana stop saying that
you're too talented
I'm not really into vampire au but if it's so well written I don't mind at all
I also don't like threesome including Eunhae but I have to admit this was good & I actually love the fact that Kibum owns them but come to think of it he doesn't 'coz Eunhae just own themselves (or so my Eunhae bias makes me wanna think)
oh and...I WANT MY SIHANCHUL PARTS RIGHT NOW! THOUGH I SEE YOU KILLED MY MAN AGAIN SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HANCHL TOGETHER FOREVER YOU EVIL GIRL *cries forever*
at least Geng never forgets about Wonnie even after hundreds of years *sniffs*
& happily for you HanChul is so irresistable I'm gonna forgive you what you did to my baby
*reads her own comment*
o_O
this is scary I should stop (see what your fic do to me? ><)
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=\ eunhae is eunhae. They sorta just float there on their own and make my fics eunhae + Kibum *pats Bummies head* it's like he's always extra :_; *hugs him*
DDDDDDDDDD: *cries* I killed Siwon AGAIN ;_: it's just that if he were alive then what would I do. I would be writing hanchul and Siwon would be looking at me with those eyes of his and that smile and those dimples and I would cave and make it shihan because I just love them to bits. And the shihanchul is always so hard because it screams angst and I am trying to write nice non angsty sihanchul but it isn't working and *rambles* And so to make Siwon and me feel better I went and MADE SURE THAT GENG NEVER EVER FORGETS SIWON AND HE CAN'T BECAUSE SIWON IS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND HE LOVES HIM FOREVER. BUT HEECHUL IS THE LOVE OF HIS UNDEAD LIFE AND JUST SDJFHAHSKJ ;_; i'll work on improving my shihanchul skills. <3 thank you for forgiving me even though your siwon icon is looking at me and going "but I am so irresistible, how could you have killed me?" *bangs head on desk*
wow. that has to be the longest ramble I have ever gone off on...*whistles and walks away*
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Loved the Hanchul and poor Siwon
The pairings are great
Nice job =)
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Happy to know that you liked it!
OTL i know. I killed Siwon D:
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kihaehyuk is a very attractive pairing. I like them! so yay!!!
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KLAJSDFLJAISOURJIAWEJFSLDKJFLASDF ASDFKLASDJLFKJAWOEIFJSLD
LET ME JUST GO READ OMG :'D
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I have no words.
That was...freaking...BEAUTIFUL ;-;
You can probably see the lack of quotes, but you know what that means?
That means I was so mesmerized by what the hell was going on that I couldn't tear myself away for long enough to quote something.
/flails/
This is beautiful and I have no words and you can probably tell I have no words because I already said it up there ^
I'm so excited for this for play out and I can't wait for more updates and KiHaeHyuk is hot and QMiMin is perfection and HanChul is forever beautiful <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
(I read above about your decision to drop pre-med and I just want to say congrats and I'm happy that you're going into something you're interested in now and you're going into something that'll make you happy and just \o/)
I LOVE YOU ANA <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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Yes pat poor Kibummie because I am mean to him. D: I shall have the hanchul part soon =)
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oh gosh. you just gave me a plot xD
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AND NO NO SHIHANCHIL BECAUSE I AM MEAN AND I AM GOING TO HAVE SAD BROKEN!SHIHAN AND YEWON BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.
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you're so sweet!
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