static_abyss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
static_abyss) wrote2011-01-21 09:37 pm
static_abyss) wrote2011-01-21 09:37 pm
One Day
Title: One Day
Pairing: HanChul, SiChul, SiHan, SiHanChul
Genre: angst, smutwhy does smut always find its way into my fics
Rating: Roh joy it went down to R -_-
Summary: Hankyung has been pretending for so long, hiding what he really feels with the hopes that one day he can tell Heechul what everyone in Super Junior already knows. He knows he has to wait. He just wasn't expecting Siwon.
Note: For my twin![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shihan_ai because it is her birthday soon and I love her.
A/N: PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!! There is actual PLOT here and not that fake plot covered with smut that I've been writing lately! There is actual plot plot!!!!!!! *throws a huge party* Okay Annie. I am being wayyy too nice to you. Look at this super long fic that is a whole 4,653 words long. Happy Birthday okay and don't mind it being early. I have to disappear for the weekend sort of. So, there it is and yes it is sihanchul and hanchul and sihan and sichul and sort of biased, but you refuse to write more hanchul so as the other half of your brain I have to do it. *looks at fic* I hope you like it okay and I love you!
Hankyung had always been close with Siwon. There was no way they couldn’t be. They had both gone to China at the same time, Siwon to learn Chinese and Hankyung to represent Super Junior. They had bonded over those long nights of homesickness on Siwon’s part, over those long Chinese lesson, the interviews together, all those shows. Siwon came to him like a brother seeking help, advice, crying to him when he was alone and scared and Hankyung took care of him.
He thought that it was mutual on both their parts. He thought that Siwon had the same respect and love for him as he did. He loved Siwon because Siwon knew when he needed help and he always looked for it. And Siwon was there when Hankyung needed a shoulder to cry on. Siwon knew and cared about how hard it was for Hankyung to live in Korea, to fight the discrimination, the homesickness. Siwon knew and Siwon said he cared. Siwon cried for him.
That’s why it hurt so much.
He knew there was something wrong when Heechul wouldn’t look him in the eye. He knew because Heechul always welcomed him back from his trips with a sly smile, a suggestive touch, a look from those eyes. But, this time, there was none of that. This time when he came back from those ten days in China, Heechul barely looked at him.
That set off warning bells in Hankyung’s head. There was something wrong because when he was leaving and packing (more things than he ever really needed) Heechul had been upset. It showed up even on the camera, the way Heechul glared at the over packed suitcase, the way he joked about Hankyung needing a kiss. He’d asked Heechul if he was going to miss him, on camera, because Heechul wouldn’t have answered otherwise.
Hankyung knew Heechul, knew when the other man was upset, everyone did really, it was hard not to, but Hankyung could tell even before it got to the point of Heechul throwing things around the room. He could tell from the way Heechul moved or looked or didn’t move, didn’t say certain things. Hankyung knew when Heechul did something wrong, not that it helped much. Heechul was never sorry, never sorry about that kiss with Sungmin, never sorry about the kiss with Siwon.
If he stopped to think about it, Hankyung would have been appalled at the way he was treated, but Heechul, Heechul could do whatever he wanted, kiss whoever he wanted and Hankyung was not supposed to say a word. Hankyung never said a word, never got angry, never did anything, but corner Heechul afterwards and get his reward for being such an understanding kind of person.
Oh, but there were rules. Hankyung was not allowed to touch anyone, never allowed to have his own little fan service moments. It had to be Heechul always. He had to be careful because that one time with Jaejoong and Yesung, that small hug and peck on the cheek, that had led to nasty consequences. Heechul hadn’t talked to him for a week, had glued himself to Siwon and Kangin, had made a point to ignore Hankyung and that was when he first kissed Sungmin.
Heechul may be a bitch, but there was a reason why Hankyung stayed, why he said nothing, why he let Heechul do whatever he wanted to do.
There was just something about the way Heechul unraveled for him. Sometimes when they were in their room, Heechul would lean over and hug him. Sometimes they would go to sleep without ever doing anything, go to sleep with hugs and kisses and innocent touches. It rarely happened, those moments, but when they did Hankyung understood why he stayed.
He loved Heechul.
It was plain and simple and it hurt like a bitch to admit it, because Heechul was just not ready for that, but it was true. He had fallen in love with the long black hair that seemed to belong in his hand, those dark eyes that seduced way before anything else did, the longs nights together, the pleasure, the whirlwind of spontaneity that was Heechul.
And he lived for those days when Heechul would take his hand, a bag of beer or soju in the other, and pull him into their room. They’d drink and talk and drink some more and it was then, when Heechul was so drunk he couldn’t even remember his name, it was then that Heechul was the most open. It was then that Hankyung heard the words that he wanted to hear.
***
“Why are you so good to me?” Heechul says that first time they get drunk together.
“It’s because no one else can stand you and I feel sorry for you.” Hankyung answers.
“Siwon does what I tell him to do. He listens to me.”
“No, he doesn’t. He does what you want him to do and he never listens. If he listened he would be the one here with you right now.” Hankyung says it because it’s true and Heechul knows it.
There is silence for a minute and when Hankyung looks up Heechul is coming to him. He watches the other man and makes no move, not a single sound as Heechul climbs onto his lap.
“You shouldn’t be so nice to me.” Heechul whispers and Hankyung wonders if he’s crazy or if he really is in love with this man.
See, even then, even when they first started, there was something. There was something the minute he met Heechul back when they were training because there was something about that man that captivated him, that made him wonder, that surprised him.
“I’m not nice to you.” Hankyung answers because he isn’t.
He lets Heechul have his way on small insignificant things, like when they’re sharing noodles. He always lets Heechul eat first and then he does. But, that’s unimportant because when it really matters, at least to Hankyung, when it really matters he’s mean and as obnoxious as Heechul can be.
But, he says nothing about that. He shakes his head and shoves Heechul off his lap.
“You’re heavy.” He explains.
Heechul gets up and punches him on the shoulder. “You’re such a jerk.”
“You got that right baby.” Hankyung answers because that is his defense.
If he is aloof and if he pretends it’s a game to him too, then Heechul will stay. If he takes this to the next level, if he opens his mouth about the way his heart races, then it’s real and then Heechul runs. So, he is as mean as he can be because Heechul likes it like that. Heechul likes knowing that he can play and not have to worry about anything serious, so Hankyung lets him think that.
“I think jerks are hot.” Heechul says coming to him again.
Hankyung watches Heechul, watches as Heechul slips into his lap again, straddling him and the chair.
“I think you’re hot.” Heechul says and Hankyung’s heart jumps all over the place.
He wants this and he knows he shouldn’t. Nothing good can come of this. Nothing good can come from being Heechul’s toy. He knows he is better off with Siwon, Siwon who would take him seriously, but Siwon is out of the question because Siwon is his little brother and Hankyung loves him, but Heechul owns Hankyung. So, he says what he knows Heechul wants him to say.
“I know I’m hot.” He continues leaning back against the chair. “So hot Heechul-ah and what are you going to do about it?”
***
Hankyung first hears the news from Siwon. He is in his room that day wondering what could possibly be wrong with Heechul. He has this moment of panic where he thinks that maybe Yesung went and opened his mouth because Yesung knows and Ryeowook too since those two might as well be connected. But, that can’t be because he knows that Ryeowook would never tell and Yesung knows he should never tell.
He pushes that thought out of his head and is left where he first started.
What happened?
He’s gone from just plain Heechul being Heechul to sickness and back and he still doesn’t know why. When Siwon comes in to see him the last thing he expects is what Siwon has come to tell him.
“Hyung, can I come in?” Siwon asks poking his head into the room.
“You’re already halfway in here Siwonnie, come in.” Hankyung answers making room on the bed for Siwon to sit.
Siwon comes in, takes one look at Hankyung and loses it. At first Hankyung is confused as to why exactly Siwon is hugging him and crying, actually crying into his shoulder. But, what Siwon says next not only knocks the air out of him in surprise; it does much more.
“I’m so sorry hyung. I know you love him, but I was…it was…I don’t even know how it happened.”
Hankyung doesn’t need Siwon to say the name. He doesn’t need Siwon to say anything at all because he can fill in the blanks. He doesn’t even need Siwon to tell him how he knows what Hankyung feels for Heechul. If Yesung knows then Ryeowook knows and if Ryeowook knows then Sungmin knows. If Sungmin knows then Hyukjae and Kyuhyun know and if Kyuhyun knows, then everyone in Super Junior knows. Everyone it seems, but Heechul because they all know what would happen if Heechul found out and they all love Hankyung too much to do that to him. They are all together in everything after all.
So, no, Hankyung is not surprised that Siwon knows. He is not even surprised to hear that Heechul slept with Siwon. What surprises him, what makes him so sad he doesn’t know what to do is the fact that Siwon, Siwon of all people would actually sleep with Heechul, after knowing what he knows.
Why, he wants to ask because he knows he has every right to. Why because they all know how this works. Why, because it’s not only him. All of Super Junior knows how this works. They know that once one of them is with someone that person if off limits. You do what you want in public, but behind closed doors, behind closed doors, once someone has laid their claim, then everyone knows not to touch.
Siwon and Heechul. This is as if Hankyung were to go to Leeteuk and sleep with him. This is like Hankyung going to Donghae and breaking Eunhyuk’s heart. This is like Hankyung taking Kyuhyun away from Sungmin. This is like him turning on Yesung or Ryeowook. This doesn’t happen. No, this shouldn’t happen.
But, it has.
It has and Hankyung wants to get off that bed and shake Heechul. He wants Heechul to understand what he’s done, what he’s done by doing this with Siwon, wants Heechul to understand what he’s done to Hankyung. But, he can’t.
Siwon has fallen to his knees in front of Hankyung and is crying into his lap now. Hankyung knows what is going to happen next. He knows because he knows Heechul. So, because he knows what is going to happen next, he puts a hand on Siwon’s hair.
“There, there Siwonnie.” He murmurs. “I’m not angry at you.”
“You’re not?” Siwon says his eyes widening in that innocent way that touches Hankyung’s heart and at the same time breaks it.
“I’m not.” Hankyung continues putting a hand on Siwon’s face and leaning down. “I’m not angry Siwonnie. I just feel sort of left out. It’s not fair is it?”
“No, it isn’t.” comes Heechul’s voice from the door,
Hankyung can feel Siwon stiffen but he, Hankyung, doesn’t even blink. Of course Heechul would be here because Heechul would know that if Siwon hasn’t run out of the room, then that means that Hankyung is okay with it. And that is all that Heechul needs. Hankyung knows this and that’s why he pretends it’s okay.
“What should we do now SIwonnie?” Hankyung asks looking back at Siwon. “I don’t like to be ignored.”
Hankyung knows Heechul is watching and that’s why he puts on a show. Inside he wants to throw up. Inside he wants to leave and not look back. The problem is he would never leave. He has made himself into this. He has pretended to be uncaring and aloof, to be okay with all of this. He does it for Heechul and it is all his fault that he is here now. If he were smarter he would have told Heechul to fuck of long ago and not just in that way they have of talking to each other. He would have done it for real. He would have walked away. But, he didn’t and he has to go on with his show.
“We need to teach Siwonnie a lesson.” Heechul says coming over and to sit down next to Hankyung.
Hankyung looks down at Siwon. He’s still holding Siwon’s chin in his hand. He takes a look at that handsome face, at those eyes, at the dimples that he knows are hidden there. Siwon is handsome, muscled, probably good in bed otherwise Heechul wouldn’t have kept him.
Hankyung turns Siwon’s head and nods at Heechul. He watches as Heechul gets down on his knees to kiss Siwon. Hankyung watches because he is expected to watch, but he’s not sure if he likes what he sees. He waits a little longer.
“Now, now, it’s not nice to ignore me.” Hankyung says putting a hand on Siwon’s chin and turning him so that he’s looking at Hankyung.
Hankyung spares one look at Heechul whose eyes are hungry and then he turns to Siwon. Siwon is watching him with wide eyes, eager eyes, eyes that burn with something that Hankyung has always wanted to see in Heechul’s eyes. He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like doing this to Siwon, but he can’t back down now.
Hankyung’s lips crash down on Siwon’s and he lets himself be carried away, lets himself drown in the way Siwon responds, in the small noises Heechul makes.
“Fuck.” Heechul whispers and Hankyung thinks it’s okay to kiss Siwon a little longer.
He pulls away because Heechul is pulling him away and then there is a fight to get rid of clothes, a fight as Hankyung and Heechul kiss, hard enough to bruise, to hurt and Hankyung hears the gasps and he knows that this is the way Heechul likes it. Siwon is there to help and together they manage to get Heechul where they want him but Hankyung still hasn’t let go of Heechul. Siwon strokes his hip nicely and Hankyung knows what he wants, but it is Heechul who pulls away. It’s Heechul who turns eagerly to Siwon and Hankyung is left to watch again.
Siwon falls on his knees and pushes Heechul down so that he’s on all fours and Hankyung watches as Heechul takes Siwon into his mouth. He doesn’t like it, but he can understand the sharp intake of breath from Siwon because he’s been there before. Hankyung meets Siwon’s eyes and there is a challenge in those eyes, probably not, but Hankyung can’t see it any other way.
All Hankyung sees when he looks at Siwon is Heechul and him together. He bites back the anger and looks at the white skin of Heechul’s back. He kneels too and bites down hard on Heechul’s shoulder. He hears Heechul moan around Siwon and Hankyung looks up at Siwon, a smirk on his face.
There is too much testosterone in the room and all it does is make Hankyung more determined. He slides into Heechul faster than he would on a normal night and he is rewarded with a moan that vibrates throughout Heechul’s body. He can hear the way Heechul’s breath picks up and he doesn’t let up. Hankyung holds on to Heechul’s hips and slams into him, marking Heechul’s back with bites.
It’s different for the three of them but when Siwon comes and Heechul is left alone for Hankyung then it’s okay. Hankyung takes care of Heechul quickly and can’t help but feel slightly smug that it’s his name that Heechul calls out.
There is nothing to say after that or the nights that follow. Hankyung is supposed to be okay so there is nothing to say. He and Siwon, well, they can deal with each other, not necessarily touching each other, but Heechul doesn’t expect them to. They both belong to Heechul after all.
***
It’s when they go to China that things change.
“Be good Siwonnie.” Heechul is saying to Siwon.
Hankyung watches as Heechul fusses over Siwon. He watches as Heechul flutters around Siwon, taking his hand, pushing him to have a good breakfast so that he’s not hungry on the plane. To Hankyung all Heechul does is roll his eyes.
“Why are you taking so much?” Heechul asks as Hankyung drags his suitcase to the door.
"I can take whatever I want." Hankyung answers.
“Shut up and get out of here.” Heechul says because that is just the way they talk to each other. “Make sure that Siwon gets back home. You can stay if you want to. No one will miss you.”
Hankyung laughs. He looks at Heechul and is stuck. I love you he wants to say. He wants to say it so bad that the words are already forming at his mouth. He opens it ready to let go and say it.
“You know you’re going to miss the way I make you scream.” He says instead and Heechul laughs.
Heechul laughs but kisses him and Hankyung knows he has said that right thing.
They go to China and Hankyung is too busy to mope about Heechul much. He is so busy that he completely misses Siwon’s advances. When he recognizes them for what they are he doesn’t stop them, can’t when they’re on TV. But, when they get to the hotel, he ignores Siwon. He focuses on the others, on keeping Donghae from getting too homesick, on pampering Ryeowook, on chatting away with Zhou Mi, on showing Henry how to do things.
He ignores Siwon so blatantly that the expected happens.
“Are you mad at me hyung?” Siwon asks him one day while Hankyung is running around trying to figure out what they all have to do tomorrow.
Henry can’t find his violin and Ryeowook has tipped him off that Kyuhyun might know where it is. Zhou Mi is helping out and Hankyung is eternally grateful to him forever. He makes a mental note to get Zhou Mi something extra expensive for his birthday. He is in no mood to listen, but Siwon is talking to him and even here in China he can’t erase the fact that he shares Heechul with Siwon.
“I’m not mad at you.” Hankyung says because he isn’t, just jealous.
“Then why won’t you let me touch you.” Siwon asks taking his chin in his hand.
Hankyung looks up into those big dark eyes and wonders the same thing. He wonders why he doesn’t let Siwon touch him. Why not if it feels nice to be in Siwon’s arms? He knows what it feels like to have Siwon hug him. He knows because Siwon does it every time he can while they’re filming.
“I love you Han Geng.” Siwon whispers leaning down so that his lips are barely brushing over Hankyung’s.
Hankyung looks up into those eyes looking for the lie. He doesn’t see any and it’s as if the world has opened up to him.
Siwon loves him.
It’s not just about Heechul.
Siwon loves him too.
When he looks at Siwon again everything has changed. He doesn’t know how, but it has. He can see the light in Siwon’s eyes and he isn’t insulted at all when Siwon laughs.
“You didn’t think it was only Heechul, did you?”
Hankyung says nothing because, well, he did. It never once entered his head that the reason why Siwon was upset that time was because he loved Heechul but loved Hankyung too and didn’t know what to do. It never occurred to him that Siwon kissed him for any other reason than because Heechul liked it. It never occurred to him that maybe Siwon might love him too.
“I just want you to know,” Siwon tells him, “that if you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. I can wait until we get back to Korea if that’s what you want.”
Hankyung doesn’t know what to say for once. He isn’t prepared for this so he does what his instinct tells him to do. He grabs Siwon by the back of his head and kisses him. It’s the first real kiss they’ve shared and Hankyung is surprised at how much he enjoys it.
“Would you look at that?” Kyuhyun says interrupting their kiss. “Siwon hyung is growing up.”
They ignore him and Siwon is true to his promise. He is nice and careful when they are in public, but he forgets sometimes and there is more Sihan fan service than anything else. The thing is that Siwon is so earnest in apologizing afterwards that Hankyung can’t help but let his guard down.
He breaks first.
He breaks one day when Siwon and he are sharing a room. Siwon comes out of the shower and Hankyung can’t help but be drawn to those muscles on that stomach, on those arms. He swears Siwon does it on purpose. They all know that Siwon loves attention, loves being praised for his hard work on getting those muscles, but Hankyung thinks this is talking it too far.
It is because Siwon knows exactly what he is doing to Hankyung and he still takes his sweet time drying his hair. And Hankyung knows that the towel falling to the floor is a complete act. And he shouldn’t be feeling all this because he’s seen Siwon naked before and it was never like this. But things haven’t been the same since they talked about it last time. And Hankyung doesn’t want it to be the same. He wants to feel Siwon under his hands, wants to know if it really feels better to be on your back as Heechul so eloquently puts it.
Hankyung counts to ten in his head and when the desire to jump Siwon is still there he does it. He touches Siwon’s shoulder and when the other man turns around Hankyung wastes no time. He kisses Siwon and wonders why he hadn’t done it before. It is so much easier to let himself go and be guided by Siwon than to be angry or jealous of him. Hankyung lets Siwon push him down on the bed, lets Siwon take off his clothes, wraps his legs around Siwon’s waist. He holds on to that hair, those arms and concentrates on this the feeling of Siwon.
They’re both so gone in the moment that Hankyung’s phone rings five times before they hear it. Siwon doesn’t stop moving just lets Hankyung fall back on the bed. He reaches over to the dresser and manages to grab it without needing to stop Siwon. He looks at the number and curses.
“It’s Heechul.” He says before Siwon hits something that turns the rest of his sentence into a long drawn out moan.
Siwon takes the phone from his hand and throws it on the couch because it is okay to forget Heechul for this moment. It is okay because back in Korea Hankyung and Heechul sometimes forget Siwon, but more often than not Heechul and Siwon forget Hankyung.
It might be a bit selfish, but Hankyung likes the attention. He likes knowing that Siwon loves him, likes that Siwon can tell him that to his face, likes that Siwon can hear Hankyung say it. It’s nice to not be afraid to tell someone that you love them.
Hankyung likes it so much that he says it again and again and again as Siwon moves with him on that bed. He says it as they touch, as they learn from each other, as they try for the first time to be one without Heechul.
Wo ai ni.
Hankyung isn’t sure if he loves Siwon. He knows that what he feels for Siwon is different. He knows it’s not the same as what he feels for Heechul and he knows that Siwon wants a family one day. He knows and Siwon knows that too. They know that this won’t last, but who needs to worry about the future when they have this moment.
***
When they get back home they show Heechul what they’ve learned. Hankyung doesn’t expect jealousy. This is Heechul after all. He expects some sort of reaction, but the one they get is so much better because Heechul seems to like Siwon and Hankyung together.
And because Heechul likes it for once it isn’t about Heechul. That night Hankyung is the one they pay attention to. That night it’s Hankyung who they put in the middle. It is Hankyung who Heechul kisses, Hankyung who Siwon prepares. It is Hankyung who has them both that night.
Siwon comes up behind him and kisses the back of his neck. Hankyung shudders and that night everything is the way he wants it. It’s Heechul moaning his name and Siwon paying attention to him whispering words of encouragement, words of love in his ear. It is Heechul thinking of him and only him and Siwon loving him, caring, but Hankyung is not stupid.
He knows that Siwon loves Heechul too, knows that Siwon will always be the tenderness that Heechul isn’t but he also knows that he loves Siwon but it is Heechul who drives him insane. Hankyung knows that if he were rational, if he thought about it for one second, he would leave Heechul for Siwon.
But, there is no rationality in this relationship. There is no right or wrong because they all know that Siwon wants to be a father and Heechul will not commit, at least, Hankyung knows. He knows there is no rationality, but Heechul is addicting. Heechul is what he wants. He knows that the three of them work because he gives Heechul what he wants. He is fun and non-committing for Heechul and Siwon is calm and eager to please. Heechul keeps Siwon because Siwon treats him like the princess that he is and Hankyung knows that Heechul keeps him because Heechul will always keep him.
It should make him feel more secure, knowing that Heechul will never leave him, that he is irreplaceable and that no matter how many people come and go to fill Siwon’s place Hankyung will always be the same. The reason it doesn’t is because he there is one thing he doesn’t know about Heechul and that is how Heechul will react when Hankyung finally tells him that he is in love with him.
For the time being though Hankyung has Siwon. Siwon lends him that shoulder to lean on, hugs him, gives him the love that he doesn’t get from Heechul. Siwon loves them both, but Siwon knows that one day he’ll leave them and all Hankyung can do is hope that when that day comes Heechul will have realized that he loves Hankyung as much as Hankyung loves him.
Maybe one day Hankyung will be able to tell Heechul that he loves him. One day he will be able to tell this man what he feels. But, in the meantime, he has this. He is the one Heechul sleeps next to, the one Heechul talks to and he can always lean on Siwon. He always has that shoulder, even when it’s been mostly just Heechul and Siwon, even then, they always end like this. Heechul in his arms and he, in turn, with Siwon.
A/N: OTL would you look at that there was still smut. argh!!!!!!! Why can't I write nice PG stuff or even PG-13? Why?????????????? *sobs pathetically* jsdkhfakjhfjs I need to go and purify my brain. I will be back after I do that. Oh and I have to go answer comments. I love you all for commenting by the way *rushes off to answer comments before she has to leave* And Annie I hope you liked it =) *is still waiting for the Kyuhan* But, I probably shouldn't since I still owe you Kyuhan =/ I'll get to it XD. And yeah I know I am so mean to my poor baby. *hugs Geng*
Pairing: HanChul, SiChul, SiHan, SiHanChul
Genre: angst, smut
Rating: R
Summary: Hankyung has been pretending for so long, hiding what he really feels with the hopes that one day he can tell Heechul what everyone in Super Junior already knows. He knows he has to wait. He just wasn't expecting Siwon.
Note: For my twin
shihan_ai because it is her birthday soon and I love her. A/N: PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!! There is actual PLOT here and not that fake plot covered with smut that I've been writing lately! There is actual plot plot!!!!!!! *throws a huge party* Okay Annie. I am being wayyy too nice to you. Look at this super long fic that is a whole 4,653 words long. Happy Birthday okay and don't mind it being early. I have to disappear for the weekend sort of. So, there it is and yes it is sihanchul and hanchul and sihan and sichul and sort of biased, but you refuse to write more hanchul so as the other half of your brain I have to do it. *looks at fic* I hope you like it okay and I love you!
Hankyung had always been close with Siwon. There was no way they couldn’t be. They had both gone to China at the same time, Siwon to learn Chinese and Hankyung to represent Super Junior. They had bonded over those long nights of homesickness on Siwon’s part, over those long Chinese lesson, the interviews together, all those shows. Siwon came to him like a brother seeking help, advice, crying to him when he was alone and scared and Hankyung took care of him.
He thought that it was mutual on both their parts. He thought that Siwon had the same respect and love for him as he did. He loved Siwon because Siwon knew when he needed help and he always looked for it. And Siwon was there when Hankyung needed a shoulder to cry on. Siwon knew and cared about how hard it was for Hankyung to live in Korea, to fight the discrimination, the homesickness. Siwon knew and Siwon said he cared. Siwon cried for him.
That’s why it hurt so much.
He knew there was something wrong when Heechul wouldn’t look him in the eye. He knew because Heechul always welcomed him back from his trips with a sly smile, a suggestive touch, a look from those eyes. But, this time, there was none of that. This time when he came back from those ten days in China, Heechul barely looked at him.
That set off warning bells in Hankyung’s head. There was something wrong because when he was leaving and packing (more things than he ever really needed) Heechul had been upset. It showed up even on the camera, the way Heechul glared at the over packed suitcase, the way he joked about Hankyung needing a kiss. He’d asked Heechul if he was going to miss him, on camera, because Heechul wouldn’t have answered otherwise.
Hankyung knew Heechul, knew when the other man was upset, everyone did really, it was hard not to, but Hankyung could tell even before it got to the point of Heechul throwing things around the room. He could tell from the way Heechul moved or looked or didn’t move, didn’t say certain things. Hankyung knew when Heechul did something wrong, not that it helped much. Heechul was never sorry, never sorry about that kiss with Sungmin, never sorry about the kiss with Siwon.
If he stopped to think about it, Hankyung would have been appalled at the way he was treated, but Heechul, Heechul could do whatever he wanted, kiss whoever he wanted and Hankyung was not supposed to say a word. Hankyung never said a word, never got angry, never did anything, but corner Heechul afterwards and get his reward for being such an understanding kind of person.
Oh, but there were rules. Hankyung was not allowed to touch anyone, never allowed to have his own little fan service moments. It had to be Heechul always. He had to be careful because that one time with Jaejoong and Yesung, that small hug and peck on the cheek, that had led to nasty consequences. Heechul hadn’t talked to him for a week, had glued himself to Siwon and Kangin, had made a point to ignore Hankyung and that was when he first kissed Sungmin.
Heechul may be a bitch, but there was a reason why Hankyung stayed, why he said nothing, why he let Heechul do whatever he wanted to do.
There was just something about the way Heechul unraveled for him. Sometimes when they were in their room, Heechul would lean over and hug him. Sometimes they would go to sleep without ever doing anything, go to sleep with hugs and kisses and innocent touches. It rarely happened, those moments, but when they did Hankyung understood why he stayed.
He loved Heechul.
It was plain and simple and it hurt like a bitch to admit it, because Heechul was just not ready for that, but it was true. He had fallen in love with the long black hair that seemed to belong in his hand, those dark eyes that seduced way before anything else did, the longs nights together, the pleasure, the whirlwind of spontaneity that was Heechul.
And he lived for those days when Heechul would take his hand, a bag of beer or soju in the other, and pull him into their room. They’d drink and talk and drink some more and it was then, when Heechul was so drunk he couldn’t even remember his name, it was then that Heechul was the most open. It was then that Hankyung heard the words that he wanted to hear.
***
“Why are you so good to me?” Heechul says that first time they get drunk together.
“It’s because no one else can stand you and I feel sorry for you.” Hankyung answers.
“Siwon does what I tell him to do. He listens to me.”
“No, he doesn’t. He does what you want him to do and he never listens. If he listened he would be the one here with you right now.” Hankyung says it because it’s true and Heechul knows it.
There is silence for a minute and when Hankyung looks up Heechul is coming to him. He watches the other man and makes no move, not a single sound as Heechul climbs onto his lap.
“You shouldn’t be so nice to me.” Heechul whispers and Hankyung wonders if he’s crazy or if he really is in love with this man.
See, even then, even when they first started, there was something. There was something the minute he met Heechul back when they were training because there was something about that man that captivated him, that made him wonder, that surprised him.
“I’m not nice to you.” Hankyung answers because he isn’t.
He lets Heechul have his way on small insignificant things, like when they’re sharing noodles. He always lets Heechul eat first and then he does. But, that’s unimportant because when it really matters, at least to Hankyung, when it really matters he’s mean and as obnoxious as Heechul can be.
But, he says nothing about that. He shakes his head and shoves Heechul off his lap.
“You’re heavy.” He explains.
Heechul gets up and punches him on the shoulder. “You’re such a jerk.”
“You got that right baby.” Hankyung answers because that is his defense.
If he is aloof and if he pretends it’s a game to him too, then Heechul will stay. If he takes this to the next level, if he opens his mouth about the way his heart races, then it’s real and then Heechul runs. So, he is as mean as he can be because Heechul likes it like that. Heechul likes knowing that he can play and not have to worry about anything serious, so Hankyung lets him think that.
“I think jerks are hot.” Heechul says coming to him again.
Hankyung watches Heechul, watches as Heechul slips into his lap again, straddling him and the chair.
“I think you’re hot.” Heechul says and Hankyung’s heart jumps all over the place.
He wants this and he knows he shouldn’t. Nothing good can come of this. Nothing good can come from being Heechul’s toy. He knows he is better off with Siwon, Siwon who would take him seriously, but Siwon is out of the question because Siwon is his little brother and Hankyung loves him, but Heechul owns Hankyung. So, he says what he knows Heechul wants him to say.
“I know I’m hot.” He continues leaning back against the chair. “So hot Heechul-ah and what are you going to do about it?”
***
Hankyung first hears the news from Siwon. He is in his room that day wondering what could possibly be wrong with Heechul. He has this moment of panic where he thinks that maybe Yesung went and opened his mouth because Yesung knows and Ryeowook too since those two might as well be connected. But, that can’t be because he knows that Ryeowook would never tell and Yesung knows he should never tell.
He pushes that thought out of his head and is left where he first started.
What happened?
He’s gone from just plain Heechul being Heechul to sickness and back and he still doesn’t know why. When Siwon comes in to see him the last thing he expects is what Siwon has come to tell him.
“Hyung, can I come in?” Siwon asks poking his head into the room.
“You’re already halfway in here Siwonnie, come in.” Hankyung answers making room on the bed for Siwon to sit.
Siwon comes in, takes one look at Hankyung and loses it. At first Hankyung is confused as to why exactly Siwon is hugging him and crying, actually crying into his shoulder. But, what Siwon says next not only knocks the air out of him in surprise; it does much more.
“I’m so sorry hyung. I know you love him, but I was…it was…I don’t even know how it happened.”
Hankyung doesn’t need Siwon to say the name. He doesn’t need Siwon to say anything at all because he can fill in the blanks. He doesn’t even need Siwon to tell him how he knows what Hankyung feels for Heechul. If Yesung knows then Ryeowook knows and if Ryeowook knows then Sungmin knows. If Sungmin knows then Hyukjae and Kyuhyun know and if Kyuhyun knows, then everyone in Super Junior knows. Everyone it seems, but Heechul because they all know what would happen if Heechul found out and they all love Hankyung too much to do that to him. They are all together in everything after all.
So, no, Hankyung is not surprised that Siwon knows. He is not even surprised to hear that Heechul slept with Siwon. What surprises him, what makes him so sad he doesn’t know what to do is the fact that Siwon, Siwon of all people would actually sleep with Heechul, after knowing what he knows.
Why, he wants to ask because he knows he has every right to. Why because they all know how this works. Why, because it’s not only him. All of Super Junior knows how this works. They know that once one of them is with someone that person if off limits. You do what you want in public, but behind closed doors, behind closed doors, once someone has laid their claim, then everyone knows not to touch.
Siwon and Heechul. This is as if Hankyung were to go to Leeteuk and sleep with him. This is like Hankyung going to Donghae and breaking Eunhyuk’s heart. This is like Hankyung taking Kyuhyun away from Sungmin. This is like him turning on Yesung or Ryeowook. This doesn’t happen. No, this shouldn’t happen.
But, it has.
It has and Hankyung wants to get off that bed and shake Heechul. He wants Heechul to understand what he’s done, what he’s done by doing this with Siwon, wants Heechul to understand what he’s done to Hankyung. But, he can’t.
Siwon has fallen to his knees in front of Hankyung and is crying into his lap now. Hankyung knows what is going to happen next. He knows because he knows Heechul. So, because he knows what is going to happen next, he puts a hand on Siwon’s hair.
“There, there Siwonnie.” He murmurs. “I’m not angry at you.”
“You’re not?” Siwon says his eyes widening in that innocent way that touches Hankyung’s heart and at the same time breaks it.
“I’m not.” Hankyung continues putting a hand on Siwon’s face and leaning down. “I’m not angry Siwonnie. I just feel sort of left out. It’s not fair is it?”
“No, it isn’t.” comes Heechul’s voice from the door,
Hankyung can feel Siwon stiffen but he, Hankyung, doesn’t even blink. Of course Heechul would be here because Heechul would know that if Siwon hasn’t run out of the room, then that means that Hankyung is okay with it. And that is all that Heechul needs. Hankyung knows this and that’s why he pretends it’s okay.
“What should we do now SIwonnie?” Hankyung asks looking back at Siwon. “I don’t like to be ignored.”
Hankyung knows Heechul is watching and that’s why he puts on a show. Inside he wants to throw up. Inside he wants to leave and not look back. The problem is he would never leave. He has made himself into this. He has pretended to be uncaring and aloof, to be okay with all of this. He does it for Heechul and it is all his fault that he is here now. If he were smarter he would have told Heechul to fuck of long ago and not just in that way they have of talking to each other. He would have done it for real. He would have walked away. But, he didn’t and he has to go on with his show.
“We need to teach Siwonnie a lesson.” Heechul says coming over and to sit down next to Hankyung.
Hankyung looks down at Siwon. He’s still holding Siwon’s chin in his hand. He takes a look at that handsome face, at those eyes, at the dimples that he knows are hidden there. Siwon is handsome, muscled, probably good in bed otherwise Heechul wouldn’t have kept him.
Hankyung turns Siwon’s head and nods at Heechul. He watches as Heechul gets down on his knees to kiss Siwon. Hankyung watches because he is expected to watch, but he’s not sure if he likes what he sees. He waits a little longer.
“Now, now, it’s not nice to ignore me.” Hankyung says putting a hand on Siwon’s chin and turning him so that he’s looking at Hankyung.
Hankyung spares one look at Heechul whose eyes are hungry and then he turns to Siwon. Siwon is watching him with wide eyes, eager eyes, eyes that burn with something that Hankyung has always wanted to see in Heechul’s eyes. He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like doing this to Siwon, but he can’t back down now.
Hankyung’s lips crash down on Siwon’s and he lets himself be carried away, lets himself drown in the way Siwon responds, in the small noises Heechul makes.
“Fuck.” Heechul whispers and Hankyung thinks it’s okay to kiss Siwon a little longer.
He pulls away because Heechul is pulling him away and then there is a fight to get rid of clothes, a fight as Hankyung and Heechul kiss, hard enough to bruise, to hurt and Hankyung hears the gasps and he knows that this is the way Heechul likes it. Siwon is there to help and together they manage to get Heechul where they want him but Hankyung still hasn’t let go of Heechul. Siwon strokes his hip nicely and Hankyung knows what he wants, but it is Heechul who pulls away. It’s Heechul who turns eagerly to Siwon and Hankyung is left to watch again.
Siwon falls on his knees and pushes Heechul down so that he’s on all fours and Hankyung watches as Heechul takes Siwon into his mouth. He doesn’t like it, but he can understand the sharp intake of breath from Siwon because he’s been there before. Hankyung meets Siwon’s eyes and there is a challenge in those eyes, probably not, but Hankyung can’t see it any other way.
All Hankyung sees when he looks at Siwon is Heechul and him together. He bites back the anger and looks at the white skin of Heechul’s back. He kneels too and bites down hard on Heechul’s shoulder. He hears Heechul moan around Siwon and Hankyung looks up at Siwon, a smirk on his face.
There is too much testosterone in the room and all it does is make Hankyung more determined. He slides into Heechul faster than he would on a normal night and he is rewarded with a moan that vibrates throughout Heechul’s body. He can hear the way Heechul’s breath picks up and he doesn’t let up. Hankyung holds on to Heechul’s hips and slams into him, marking Heechul’s back with bites.
It’s different for the three of them but when Siwon comes and Heechul is left alone for Hankyung then it’s okay. Hankyung takes care of Heechul quickly and can’t help but feel slightly smug that it’s his name that Heechul calls out.
There is nothing to say after that or the nights that follow. Hankyung is supposed to be okay so there is nothing to say. He and Siwon, well, they can deal with each other, not necessarily touching each other, but Heechul doesn’t expect them to. They both belong to Heechul after all.
***
It’s when they go to China that things change.
“Be good Siwonnie.” Heechul is saying to Siwon.
Hankyung watches as Heechul fusses over Siwon. He watches as Heechul flutters around Siwon, taking his hand, pushing him to have a good breakfast so that he’s not hungry on the plane. To Hankyung all Heechul does is roll his eyes.
“Why are you taking so much?” Heechul asks as Hankyung drags his suitcase to the door.
"I can take whatever I want." Hankyung answers.
“Shut up and get out of here.” Heechul says because that is just the way they talk to each other. “Make sure that Siwon gets back home. You can stay if you want to. No one will miss you.”
Hankyung laughs. He looks at Heechul and is stuck. I love you he wants to say. He wants to say it so bad that the words are already forming at his mouth. He opens it ready to let go and say it.
“You know you’re going to miss the way I make you scream.” He says instead and Heechul laughs.
Heechul laughs but kisses him and Hankyung knows he has said that right thing.
They go to China and Hankyung is too busy to mope about Heechul much. He is so busy that he completely misses Siwon’s advances. When he recognizes them for what they are he doesn’t stop them, can’t when they’re on TV. But, when they get to the hotel, he ignores Siwon. He focuses on the others, on keeping Donghae from getting too homesick, on pampering Ryeowook, on chatting away with Zhou Mi, on showing Henry how to do things.
He ignores Siwon so blatantly that the expected happens.
“Are you mad at me hyung?” Siwon asks him one day while Hankyung is running around trying to figure out what they all have to do tomorrow.
Henry can’t find his violin and Ryeowook has tipped him off that Kyuhyun might know where it is. Zhou Mi is helping out and Hankyung is eternally grateful to him forever. He makes a mental note to get Zhou Mi something extra expensive for his birthday. He is in no mood to listen, but Siwon is talking to him and even here in China he can’t erase the fact that he shares Heechul with Siwon.
“I’m not mad at you.” Hankyung says because he isn’t, just jealous.
“Then why won’t you let me touch you.” Siwon asks taking his chin in his hand.
Hankyung looks up into those big dark eyes and wonders the same thing. He wonders why he doesn’t let Siwon touch him. Why not if it feels nice to be in Siwon’s arms? He knows what it feels like to have Siwon hug him. He knows because Siwon does it every time he can while they’re filming.
“I love you Han Geng.” Siwon whispers leaning down so that his lips are barely brushing over Hankyung’s.
Hankyung looks up into those eyes looking for the lie. He doesn’t see any and it’s as if the world has opened up to him.
Siwon loves him.
It’s not just about Heechul.
Siwon loves him too.
When he looks at Siwon again everything has changed. He doesn’t know how, but it has. He can see the light in Siwon’s eyes and he isn’t insulted at all when Siwon laughs.
“You didn’t think it was only Heechul, did you?”
Hankyung says nothing because, well, he did. It never once entered his head that the reason why Siwon was upset that time was because he loved Heechul but loved Hankyung too and didn’t know what to do. It never occurred to him that Siwon kissed him for any other reason than because Heechul liked it. It never occurred to him that maybe Siwon might love him too.
“I just want you to know,” Siwon tells him, “that if you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t. I can wait until we get back to Korea if that’s what you want.”
Hankyung doesn’t know what to say for once. He isn’t prepared for this so he does what his instinct tells him to do. He grabs Siwon by the back of his head and kisses him. It’s the first real kiss they’ve shared and Hankyung is surprised at how much he enjoys it.
“Would you look at that?” Kyuhyun says interrupting their kiss. “Siwon hyung is growing up.”
They ignore him and Siwon is true to his promise. He is nice and careful when they are in public, but he forgets sometimes and there is more Sihan fan service than anything else. The thing is that Siwon is so earnest in apologizing afterwards that Hankyung can’t help but let his guard down.
He breaks first.
He breaks one day when Siwon and he are sharing a room. Siwon comes out of the shower and Hankyung can’t help but be drawn to those muscles on that stomach, on those arms. He swears Siwon does it on purpose. They all know that Siwon loves attention, loves being praised for his hard work on getting those muscles, but Hankyung thinks this is talking it too far.
It is because Siwon knows exactly what he is doing to Hankyung and he still takes his sweet time drying his hair. And Hankyung knows that the towel falling to the floor is a complete act. And he shouldn’t be feeling all this because he’s seen Siwon naked before and it was never like this. But things haven’t been the same since they talked about it last time. And Hankyung doesn’t want it to be the same. He wants to feel Siwon under his hands, wants to know if it really feels better to be on your back as Heechul so eloquently puts it.
Hankyung counts to ten in his head and when the desire to jump Siwon is still there he does it. He touches Siwon’s shoulder and when the other man turns around Hankyung wastes no time. He kisses Siwon and wonders why he hadn’t done it before. It is so much easier to let himself go and be guided by Siwon than to be angry or jealous of him. Hankyung lets Siwon push him down on the bed, lets Siwon take off his clothes, wraps his legs around Siwon’s waist. He holds on to that hair, those arms and concentrates on this the feeling of Siwon.
They’re both so gone in the moment that Hankyung’s phone rings five times before they hear it. Siwon doesn’t stop moving just lets Hankyung fall back on the bed. He reaches over to the dresser and manages to grab it without needing to stop Siwon. He looks at the number and curses.
“It’s Heechul.” He says before Siwon hits something that turns the rest of his sentence into a long drawn out moan.
Siwon takes the phone from his hand and throws it on the couch because it is okay to forget Heechul for this moment. It is okay because back in Korea Hankyung and Heechul sometimes forget Siwon, but more often than not Heechul and Siwon forget Hankyung.
It might be a bit selfish, but Hankyung likes the attention. He likes knowing that Siwon loves him, likes that Siwon can tell him that to his face, likes that Siwon can hear Hankyung say it. It’s nice to not be afraid to tell someone that you love them.
Hankyung likes it so much that he says it again and again and again as Siwon moves with him on that bed. He says it as they touch, as they learn from each other, as they try for the first time to be one without Heechul.
Wo ai ni.
Hankyung isn’t sure if he loves Siwon. He knows that what he feels for Siwon is different. He knows it’s not the same as what he feels for Heechul and he knows that Siwon wants a family one day. He knows and Siwon knows that too. They know that this won’t last, but who needs to worry about the future when they have this moment.
***
When they get back home they show Heechul what they’ve learned. Hankyung doesn’t expect jealousy. This is Heechul after all. He expects some sort of reaction, but the one they get is so much better because Heechul seems to like Siwon and Hankyung together.
And because Heechul likes it for once it isn’t about Heechul. That night Hankyung is the one they pay attention to. That night it’s Hankyung who they put in the middle. It is Hankyung who Heechul kisses, Hankyung who Siwon prepares. It is Hankyung who has them both that night.
Siwon comes up behind him and kisses the back of his neck. Hankyung shudders and that night everything is the way he wants it. It’s Heechul moaning his name and Siwon paying attention to him whispering words of encouragement, words of love in his ear. It is Heechul thinking of him and only him and Siwon loving him, caring, but Hankyung is not stupid.
He knows that Siwon loves Heechul too, knows that Siwon will always be the tenderness that Heechul isn’t but he also knows that he loves Siwon but it is Heechul who drives him insane. Hankyung knows that if he were rational, if he thought about it for one second, he would leave Heechul for Siwon.
But, there is no rationality in this relationship. There is no right or wrong because they all know that Siwon wants to be a father and Heechul will not commit, at least, Hankyung knows. He knows there is no rationality, but Heechul is addicting. Heechul is what he wants. He knows that the three of them work because he gives Heechul what he wants. He is fun and non-committing for Heechul and Siwon is calm and eager to please. Heechul keeps Siwon because Siwon treats him like the princess that he is and Hankyung knows that Heechul keeps him because Heechul will always keep him.
It should make him feel more secure, knowing that Heechul will never leave him, that he is irreplaceable and that no matter how many people come and go to fill Siwon’s place Hankyung will always be the same. The reason it doesn’t is because he there is one thing he doesn’t know about Heechul and that is how Heechul will react when Hankyung finally tells him that he is in love with him.
For the time being though Hankyung has Siwon. Siwon lends him that shoulder to lean on, hugs him, gives him the love that he doesn’t get from Heechul. Siwon loves them both, but Siwon knows that one day he’ll leave them and all Hankyung can do is hope that when that day comes Heechul will have realized that he loves Hankyung as much as Hankyung loves him.
Maybe one day Hankyung will be able to tell Heechul that he loves him. One day he will be able to tell this man what he feels. But, in the meantime, he has this. He is the one Heechul sleeps next to, the one Heechul talks to and he can always lean on Siwon. He always has that shoulder, even when it’s been mostly just Heechul and Siwon, even then, they always end like this. Heechul in his arms and he, in turn, with Siwon.
A/N: OTL would you look at that there was still smut. argh!!!!!!! Why can't I write nice PG stuff or even PG-13? Why?????????????? *sobs pathetically* jsdkhfakjhfjs I need to go and purify my brain. I will be back after I do that. Oh and I have to go answer comments. I love you all for commenting by the way *rushes off to answer comments before she has to leave* And Annie I hope you liked it =) *is still waiting for the Kyuhan* But, I probably shouldn't since I still owe you Kyuhan =/ I'll get to it XD. And yeah I know I am so mean to my poor baby. *hugs Geng*
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I LOVE YOU ALKDJSALF
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this was really sweet in a smutty sorta way >< haha but i did like it! :)
I felt so bad for Geng at first :( i just wanted to go and hug him and tell him that HanChul is still alive and Heechul can't be mad at your for to long, he wasn't even mad he just ignored him :/ *sighs*
lol i'm sure siwon's muscles look fine~ personally saying though I think Siwon is so ripped it kinda freaks me out O.o but he IS hot >< (of course i love hannie and chullie more... sorry siwon! >.<)
SiHanChul... <3 I love this couple ^^
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*hugs you forever*
It's just I didn't know if you'd want to read the sihanchul =/
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this was awesome!! the HanChul and the SiChul and and SiHan and the SiHanChul~! *dies*
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I KNOW I AM EVIL!
But, I was thinking of having a sequel to this. Maybe Heechul's side of the story because while I was writing this I knew the reason for why Heechul was doing what he was doing, but when I reread this i realized how much of a jerk he seemed and that's not cool =/
but yay!!!!!!!!! I am glad you liked it <33333
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *lunges at you and hugs you tight* You can't abandon hanchul!!!!!!!!!!!! argh *sobs* They are so love D: you just can't leave them. jshdflkajsh no no no nooooo sichul
well maybe a little because meh they're hotbut no stay with the hanchul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*stops her weird rambling*
HANCHUL!!!!!!!!!!! You know what? Now, I have to go and write you a hanchul fic! I have toooooo because OTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oy OTL is there a particular plot you would like or should I have fun with this?
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I don't regret reading it but i was so sad with Hankyung words and feelings, love someone so bad sometimes it's painful but I think the worst thing is when that person doesn't feel the same as you TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
you made me cry, why ???????????
Thanks for the fic^^
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Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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its written so well. i mean really. the little angst kind of tugs at the heart but hankyung is so strong , the way you write conveys his sense of stability so well, you cant feel the ache so much. so many mixed feelings. the ending is, well, i dont like it. Not in the sense of how you wrote it, but that hangeng still wants heechul to love him. heechul... the way he is, i mean yes, it's the way he is, but being not able to commit... it's so bad for hangeng....hangeng should go with siwon, but siwon cant stay forever.... so really, hangeng should just leave both of them and find someone else.... (LIKE ZHOUMI.*GETS SHOT*)
er, i've never really read a hanmi.... but now as im writing this, i kind of see it? they'd be a funny pair... like Qmi. XDD.
again, there's kyumin. :( but meh, it's so little, and siwon and hangeng and heechul are the main characters anyway. i shouldn't complain. so i wont.
i really like sihan now. more so than hanchul. i mean... it has a lot to do with SJM, but i dunno. geng is now in china, gone solo and REALLY AWESOME. so yeah. I dont know. I know it's fanfiction, but still. i always try and connect it with the guys irl.
a girl can dream, right?
much <3.
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*bows in front of you*......you ripped apart my heart and lungs with this lustic story....*kisses*....
*sihan and hanchul*......i worship sihan and I adore hanchul.....but sichul and sihanchul....?????....i don't know why....but I could'nt accept those pairings.....might be because am too obsessed with others...??......
Anyways, you are awesome and talented.....really admire your work and the effort that you put.....*shakes your hand like gentleman*....kekekeke.....
*hits my head*.....this is so formal comment.....*bricks again*......but I love it so much.....kekekeke.....Muaaaaaah...... and and and......fighting.....gyahahahahahaha......i have gone mad....kekekeke.....
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Omo~~ So complicated.
I've lost my words Q___Q
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Hanchul!!!!! *sobs*
SIHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *more sobs*
Okay you cuddle the sihan and I will sob over the hanchul and how much I love them XD
*hugs you*
It's okay! I love you <3333333333333
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XD
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Is it? Is it really?
XD If it is then I'll be super healthy with the amount I'm writing =/
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Hangeng is such a martyr -- feeling bad for him as well... Heechul doesn't get a chance to react, Hangeng just assumes -- but what does Heechul really feel?
The SiHan in this is really ♥able as well, 'cause well it is (I think) my first love XDD...
Makes me want them to come together and throw Heechul away, if the chance is there that Heechul is really playing with them...
♥u for this either way...
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And I loved this, and I demand a sequel. *sits down and waits*
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you're corrupting me with 3somes and 4somes!!!!!
not complaining,though! lol.
*am a pervert reader* >///
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O: I am corrupting you! *stops corrupting people* Oh wait...no complains? Then...*continues with the corruption* XD
*hugs you* <333333333333
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sequel!?
yessssss please!!!HANCHUL---<3
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And yes sequel because otherwise I won't be able to sleep at night/...=/ I am so mean to my baby bias
HANCHUL!!!!!!!!!!!! <333333333333
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Is it bad that I found crying Siwon adorable?
Sequel please :D
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I know1 I know! i am awful to Hannie and he's my bias OTL
No SIWON IS ADORABLE!!! It is not bad. None of them are mean. They just...they're complicated XD
Thanks for reading <3
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three people in a relationship is too much to deal for my brain.....
Forgive me, baby
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I wrote it because I was talking to one of my friends and they gave me the idea. I don't very much like the idea of three either but meh at least it's out of my system and I can move on to other things XD
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Why so sad? T_____T
And all so complicated. Too complicated for my brain capacity.
Idk, it makes me sad.
Just... why angst?
I need some Eunhae fluff.
Btw, my senses spot the SuperNinja!Eunhae *o*
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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But thanks so much for reading it and everything else and i love you so much <33333333333333
Yes the super secret ninja Eunhae =)
<3333333333333333333333333333
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Shisus .___. Siwon is HanChul's whore. And how I really enjoy reading this fics. Yes its complicated and yet its so wonderful. Sequel please.
Can't say more,still dizzy. I love this. I love you. Ttyl xD
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yeah Siwon is hanchul's whore =\ I am happy you liked it ♥ Thank you so much for reading and commenting. =)
*glomps* Thank youuuuuu!!!!!!!
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love love love
Re: love love love
I am happy that you liked it! Thanks for reading. =)
Re: love love love