static_abyss: (Siwon)
static_abyss ([personal profile] static_abyss) wrote2011-01-07 09:01 pm

Like Velvet 5B

Title: Like Velvet
Pairing: Sihan, Kyumin side pairing: ZhouChul, Eunhae, Sungmin/Sunny
Genre: drama, romance, angst
Rating: R (for mature content and themes)
Summary: Hankyung knew no life other than that club where he had to do what he was told, bend over for whoever wanted it, do whatever his clients paid him to do and then one day he meets Siwon and he thinks he'll finally get out. But, Siwon never comes back even though he promised and Hankyung is left alone. Five years later he's out thanks to Heechul and then Siwon comes back..
Note: For [livejournal.com profile] shihan_ai and [livejournal.com profile] daidetre because I refuse to let her live her life in fear of Sihan

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5A] [Chapter 5B] [Chapter 6]


A/N: There we go second part of this chapter and I am going to go listen to Elva Hsiao's song Miss Chic and then listen to Zhou Mi's version and spazz until i can't breathe and then I am going to go write some GengMi because they are so adorable and aekjhfkhf and I love them and I want to squish them together and I want GENGMI!!! ;_; *sighs dramatically*


The party.

He had never seen so many people in one place, had never been surrounded by so many people. It had never been like this. Dancing. Dancing because he wanted to and not because he had to. Moving, moving like he had been born to do, for himself, only for him, without a concern for anything.

He loved it. He loved being who he had always wanted to be. He liked the little dancers, Donghae and Eunhyuk. He liked Donghae because Donghae had called him hyung and had looked at him with big brown eyes.

Cute.

His head had told him that Donghae was cute and sweet and he had liked the young man. He had wanted to hug him, pat his head, tell him something because for a small second there had been pain in those brown eyes. Hankyung hadn’t understood it, hadn’t made any connection and to why there would be pain, but he hadn’t liked it.

He liked Eunhyuk because when Eunhyuk talked to Donghae, when Eunhyuk took his hand, Donghae smiled. And Hankyung liked it when Donghae smiled. He liked the carefree smile on that face. He liked Eunhyuk and Donghae.
                                                                                                   ***
Siwon thanked Kyuhyun and walked off with Sungmin tucked under his arm. He didn’t miss the way Kyuhyun glared after him. He could practically feel those eyes burning holes into his back and Sungmin had some explaining to do.

“Okay.” Siwon said once they were outside and in the car. “Can you tell me why you are trying so hard if you don’t like him?”
Sungmin shrugged. “I don’t like him. I just think he’s hot.”

Siwon groaned. “Min, you like him. You don’t like Sunny. You’re being more unfair to her by staying with her when you know you want to go back in there and sit on Kyuhyun’s lap.”

“I do like her.”

Siwon shook his head. This is why he couldn’t talk to Sungmin. He couldn’t understand why if Sungmin could be with who he wanted to be, why if he had nothing holding him back, why after all that he refused to admit that what he wanted was Kyuhyun. If Siwon could, heavens knew if he could, he would throw everything away and go in there and kidnap Hankyung, fly away with him somewhere where no one could find them and he’d never let go. He couldn’t let go, not after having let go once already.

“I don’t understand you.” Siwon said looking out at the other cars in the parking lot, so empty, so deserted. “I don’t understand why you’re giving up what you want. If I could have the freedom you have Sungmin. If I could have what you have.”

“I can’t do it Siwon.” Sungmin said. “I don’t…there are too many people who will get hurt, too many people who need me to like Sunny. She was there before Kyuhyun and she will be there after him. If I lived without him before then I can live without him after.”

Siwon shook his head. “Then why are you trying so hard? Why do you care so much if you just want him to go?”

Sungmin said nothing. Siwon waited but he knew that Sungmin could say nothing because there was nothing to say. The reason that Sungmin tried so hard was because he did care. He did want Kyuhyun and he knew it. They both knew it so there was no need to say it.

“Go back inside Siwonnie.” Sungmin said. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”

Siwon shook his head. “Let’s go. I’ll drive you home.”

“Nope.” Sungmin said. “I saw the way you watched him. Hankyung? Was that his name? Go. I’ll be in in a few minutes.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be drunk?”

Sungmin shrugged. “I can make it work. Just go. I’ve never seen you eat someone with your eyes like that.”

Siwon said nothing. Again there was nothing to say. Sungmin understood, had to understand. They were close enough to understand each other.

“It’s just one night Siwon.” Sungmin said.

Siwon nodded. “It is just one night Min.”

“For you, not for me.”

Siwon said nothing because there was nothing more to say. It was one night for him, one night in a line of many, but what if this was the only night? What if he never saw Hankyung again? What if Hankyung left tomorrow? What if he never had this chance again?

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?”

Sungmin nodded but Siwon was already out of the car. He knew Sungmin would be fine. Sungmin had to be fine because Hankyung was back in the house. Hankyung was in there surrounded by men who wanted to protect him, wanted to be his friend and friendship was not good. It was not good because they were all good looking men and as irrational as it was, because they were all with someone, Siwon was done being rational.

He walked back to the house as fast as he could, pushed past the people who tried to make a grab for him. He walked back to that room where he had seen Hankyung dancing. The lights were low. There were too many people. He spotted Heechul first because it was hard not to. Heechul was with Zhou Mi, his head resting on Zhou Mi’s shoulder, Zhou Mi’s arms around Heechul’s waist.

Why did it hurt so much? Why did it hurt to see two people who could freely love each other? Why did it hurt to not have that, to want it, to desire it like he had never desired anything before? And it hurt even more because he saw Eunhyuk and Donghae, Donghae with his head on top of Eunhyuk’s, the two so close to each other, molded into one.

And then he saw Hankyung. He saw Hankyung moving slowly, carefully, so free, so beautiful. It was so painful to have him so close and not be able to go to him, not be able to hold him. Hankyung with Kyuhyun holding him.

Siwon was moving before he realized it. He walked over to Kyuhyun and tapped him on the shoulder. He kept his eyes away from Hankyung, forgetting that his mask hid him, forgetting that he had changed so much from the scared sixteen year old he had been.

“Sungmin is in my car. He’s not drunk. He likes you. I thought I should let you know.”

Siwon saw the hesitation in Kyuhyun’s eyes, saw the way Kyuhyun looked at Hankyung.

“It’s okay Kyuhyun. Go. I’ll be fine. Heechul is here and so is Zhou Mi.”

Kyuhyun must have said something, had to have said something because Hankyung answered with a smile. But, how could Siwon have heard it, how when all he could hear was that soft accented voice, that almost shy tone. He was captivated, enraptured, wanted more, needed more, couldn’t care less if the world exploded around him because he belonged there, in that place and time, there listening to Hankyung talk.

Siwon was so gone, so far gone. There was no going back, he knew. He drank in Hankyung’s smoky eyes, eyes that seemed to look straight through him, inside him. He felt at home, at peace. Those eyes. He wanted those eyes to look at him forever, wanted to protect that man before him, wanted to erase all the hurt, wanted to help him.

“Hello.” He said surprised that his voice still worked.

“Hello.” Was the soft answer.

“I’m…” he hesitated, hesitated because what was he supposed to say.

Hello my name is Siwon? I am the bastard who left you all those years ago? I am the idiot who let his parents run his life? I am the future owner of a company and I have to marry a woman and have children with her when all I want to do is be with you? I am Siwon and I love you?

But, Hankyung was looking at him, waiting for an answer and how could Siwon ever deny him anything.

“Hello. My name is Siwon.”

He didn’t see anything in Hankyung’s eyes, no sign of recognition, nothing. Siwon had broken his arm when he was ten years old. He had been learning taekwondo at the time and it was no surprise to anyone that he had broken his arm. The pain had accompanied him for days. He hadn’t been allowed painkillers. His father didn’t believe in them. He hadn’t been able to sleep because of the pain, had stayed up nights. When it was finally over he had decided that he never again wanted to feel that pain again.

But, now, he could have broken both arms, would have broken both arms, anything, because anything was better than the pain that ripped through him.

“Hello Siwon-sshi. My name is Han…kyung. Hankyung.”

Siwon smiled. “Nice to meet you Hankyung. Uh, I guess Kyuhyun had to go didn’t he?”

“He did. Do you know him?”

“I know Sungmin.” Siwon said too eager, he knew, but it was Hankyung.

“Oh. Kyuhyun likes Sungmin.” Hankyung said that warm voice seeping into Siwon, warming him.

“Want to dance?” He asked before he lost it.

Hankyung smiled. “Okay.”

Siwon took a deep breath. He didn’t dance, could only dance those soft songs they played at parties. He didn’t do the modern, just the old fashioned and conservative. He knew he would look like nothing compared to Hankyung, but what did it matter. All that mattered was that he was going to hold Hankyung in his arms, was going to pull him close, was going to get to do this.
He was not a Choi tonight. He was Siwon, just Siwon. Siwon who wanted to dance with Hankyung.

“I don’t know how to dance.” He admitted.

“You still haven’t learned?”

Siwon’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest. Recognition.

“Han Geng.” He whispered.

But, Hankyung just smiled, moved to put his arms around Siwon’s neck. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t see any other answer than to hold Hankyung close, to pull him in, to move against him, slowly, the way Hankyung was doing.

The song was slow, seductive, not loud, couldn’t be too loud because by this time there were probably people locked in the rooms around the house. It was soft and seductive, sad. It was perfect because Hankyung was in his arms, because it was real even if it didn’t feel real. It was a dream to Siwon, a painful dream, a cruel reality because there in that room, with the dim lights, there he could hold Hankyung. But, only there.

In the morning when the sun came out he would be Choi Siwon again. He would be the only son of a man who wanted to pass on his company, who wanted his son to marry a woman and have children. He was not Siwon in the morning. In the morning he would be a Choi. But, for that moment, he could be Siwon. He could be Siwon because he was wearing a mask and no one would know who he was. He could be Siwon because it was just one night, one night like Sungmin had said, just one night.

One night that he wished could last forever.

Just one night.

“I love dancing.” Hankyung said putting his head on Siwon’s shoulder.

It surprised him. It surprised him how easily Hankyung fit in his arms, how perfectly he fit into that space in shoulder. It surprised him because it was all so right and it was cruel. It was cruel to like this, to want this, because in the morning he would have to walk away.

“I also like reading, horror is my favorite. I have a book someone gave to me once. It’s my favorite. I love it.”

Siwon listened. He listened to that voice and understood. He knew what was going on and he was not afraid. He had never felt so free, so truly happy in his entire life. He was not afraid because it was his night, a velvety soft night. It was a night like velvet, so soft, so comforting, so smooth and perfect.

“I love reading.” Siwon said. “I love China. I am so stupid too, but I remember everything. I never forget.”

Hankyung’s arms moved up from his neck to rest on the back of his neck. Siwon couldn’t help the shiver, couldn’t help the involuntary gasp. He couldn’t help it because he was remembering again. He was remembering the feel of those hands, those long fingers twined in his hair. He was remembering that same voice by his ear, whispering. He was remembering and it was driving him insane.

“I remember.” Hankyung whispered by his ear. “I remember too Siwon.”

“What do you remember?” Siwon asked.

“A lot of things.” Hankyung whispered.

And what should he have done? He wouldn’t have been able to stop even if he had wanted to. That body moving against his, those hands on the back of his neck, that voice by his ear, that body under his hands.

He leaned forward, didn’t have far to go. Hankyung was there, those lips, soft like he remembered, soft like that night, velvet soft. No other world but Hankyung, nothing but that man in his arms, but those lips on his, but that kiss that went from innocent to heated, faster than Siwon could take in air.

So long.

It had been so long. He had no patience, the mask he was wearing was in his way, was stopping him from fully feeling Hankyung’s face and he wanted to feel it, wanted to have that warm face against his while they kissed. He needed to get it off, needed to find a way to let the Siwon under there out. He needed to but couldn’t, couldn’t because Hankyung had him trapped, trapped under those kisses, trapped under that breath that washed over his face.

He didn’t know if he wanted innocent, but what they were doing wasn’t innocent. It was heated and wanting and it was desire and sin and everything that Siwon had denied himself those five years. It was want. It was everything and he needed it. He wanted it. He was moving on his own, had Hankyung almost breathless in his arms.

He was hurting, a pain that was delicious because it came from all the want he had in him.

“Siwon.” Hankyung gasped. “I need to see your face.”

Siwon froze. He waited, breath held as Hankyung’s hands ran up his face. He waited as those same hands pulled of that mask. He waited as he looked into those brown eyes.

“Beautiful.” Hankyung said.

Siwon reached forward, wanted to hold Hankyung, didn’t want the spell to end.

“Siwon!”

He sighed, but turned and there was Heechul.

“Siwon, Sungmin and Kyuhyun. Go see.”

Siwon sighed. He looked back at Hankyung but Zhou Mi was there already. He couldn’t see those eyes, couldn’t even say goodbye. He turned and walked away. He walked to his car where he found Sungmin on Kyuhyun’s lap, his hands in Kyuhyun’s hair, both blissfully unaware that Siwon needed to get into his car.

He knocked on the door and it still took four knocks to get Sungmin and Kyuhyun away from each other. Siwon didn’t even bother to acknowledge the glare from Kyuhyun as he slipped into his side. He ignored the pleased look on Sungmin’s face and it was when he was taking off his costume back at Sungmin’s apartment that he realized that he didn’t have his mask.


A/N: Have I mentioned how I am a slave to this AU? No? I belong to this AU, mind body and soul and my mom wants to know what I'm doing and I told her I was undressing Han Geng with my eyes and she wanted to know who he was so I showed her a picture she likes Siwon better *shakes head* I don't blame her for liking Siwon though but GENG IS jdhshjjdlhfldskjhfkldsjhlkf <3 And that is my small story for the day =) No teasing Annie for this chapter <3
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