static_abyss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
static_abyss) wrote2010-11-11 12:08 am
static_abyss) wrote2010-11-11 12:08 am
Entry tags:
Things Happen II 8/11
A/N: Hey there dears. Now, I feel like it's only fair that I warn you. There are currently three chapters left of this fic, so...uh...well whatever happens here won't last too long. Um...Okay basically. *protects Siwon* It's not his fault, seriously, it's NOT! *hugs Siwon close* Okay. Since, I have him now, you guys can go read XD...Jann bb I'm so sorry...
Hankyung had Heechul pressed between his body and the wall. They really had to find someplace else. There was no way this could possibly be comfortable for Heechul, especially since all they’d been doing lately involved walls, desks, chairs or closets.
“Heechul, we need to find a bed.”
“How can you even talk right now?”
Hankyung laughed and was rewarded with a pull on his hair.
“No time.” Heechul panted. “Wastes time. Ten minutes.”
“It’s your fault. You’re the one who has to…go…go…home every night.”
“Have to…Siwon.”
“Don’t say Siwon when we’re doing this.” Hankyung said stopping.
He saw the disbelief in Heechul’s eyes and had to hide his smirk.
“Siwon.” Heechul snapped. “Siwon. Siwon. Siwon. Si—”
Hankyung cut him off. He watched Heechul’s eyes shut and only then allowed himself the smirk he had been holding back.
“Hankyung.”
He said nothing. It would be a lie if he ever said he didn’t like to hear Heechul say his name. He loved it, especially when it came out like now, broken, strangled.
“I thought you liked Siwon’s name.” Hankyung said knowing full well that Heechul couldn’t answer and that pretty soon he wouldn’t be able to talk, much less taunt.
“I thought you liked Siwon’s name?” Heechul asked later when they were picking up their things.
Hankyung laughed. “You know I can’t think straight when we’re like that.”
“You can’t think straight even when we’re not like that. And you’re supposed to be the smart Golden Boy. I feel so bad for Yesung and Eunhyuk. They rely on you and you can’t even think of anything smart to say.” Heechul said carelessly throwing on his clothes.
Hankyung watched him, a small frown on his face.
“What?” Heechul asked.
“I don’t know. You’re hair? What did you do to it?” Hankyung asked noticing now that he didn’t have Heechul pressed up against him.
He studied the other man. There was something wrong. Heechul’s hair was still there, but there was something wrong. It took Hankyung a while to place exactly what it was.
“You’ve been doing something with someone else, haven’t you?”
“What?” Heechul laughed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Someone touched your hair, pulled at it, before you came here.”
“Hankyung,” Heechul said rolling his eyes. “What were we doing just now? It was you.”
Hankyung shook his head. “I never touched your hair.”
“Hankyung, you’re obsessed with the thing, of course you touched it.”
“I didn’t.” Hankyung insisted.
“Hankyung this is stupid.”
“No,” Hankyung said taking stopping Heechul from walking out the door. “This is not stupid. What did you do and with who? Was it Siwon? Another show?”
“Let go.” Heechul said, “I have to go home soon.”
Hankyung let him go. He watched Heechul leave. That look. What was that look? He didn’t recognize it, had never seen it on Heechul’s face before. He shook his head. What was he doing? Heechul was right. He probably had been the one who messed up Heechul’s hair. He really was obsessed with it.
He sighed. Why was he being so damn insecure? He had Heechul. He didn’t need to be insecure. He was fine. Everything was fine. So what if Heechul rarely had time to spend with him? So what if they had to have these quick meetings between classes? So what is he never left Siwon’s side lately? So what?
Hankyung knew, deep inside, that no matter how far Heechul went he would always come back. Heechul could be whatever anyone said, but Heechul knew how to keep promises. Hankyung was the weak one, the one that gave in when he felt a little pain. Heechul was strong. Heechul knew how to deal with situations.
There was nothing wrong he told himself as he walked down the hall. Why would there ever be anything wrong? He was being paranoid, too paranoid. He didn’t like it. Because, even though he kept telling himself that there was nothing, he had seen the look on Heechul’s face and it was bothering him.
He tried to place what it was. He tried to remember where he had seen it before. He knew it, almost recognized it, but why couldn’t he remember? He realized he didn’t care. He was worrying too much. It had been this same worry that had pushed him to Sungmin. He had Heechul.
He sighed. He was talking to himself in his own head and it was starting to annoy him. The more he thought, the less convinced he was.
“Hankyung?” Sungmin asked coming over.
“Hello, Min. What’s up?”
“I…can you help me with something?”
Hankyung frowned. “Sure, what’s wrong? You look weird.”
“Nothing. I…I just, let’s go that way.” Sungmin said taking his arm and leading him away from where he had been going.
“Hankyung!”
Hankyung stopped. He turned around. Donghae came up to him. He exchanged a look with Sungmin and Hankyung didn’t miss it. He frowned.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing. I just need your help with something.” Donghae said.
Hankyung laughed. He pulled his arm out of Sungmin’s grasp and looked at the two of them.
“What is it?” he asked. “And, don’t lie.”
“It’s nothing.” Donghae started.
“Hankyung! I found you.” Ryeowook said walking over. “I need to talk to you, now.”
Hankyung saw Donghae’s warning look and the shake of his head. He narrowed his eyes at them. There was something wrong and it involved the direction they were all coming from, the same way he was headed.
“Alright,” he said. “What is it and I don’t want to hear nothing.”
“Wookie, did you find him? Oh, Hankyung...” Yesung said stopping abruptly when he saw Hankyung.
“Yesung,” he said quietly. “What is it? What are you all hiding from me?”
“Yesung! Where’s…oh, hello hyung.” Eunhyuk said coming to a stop in front of him. “Can you come with me for a second?”
Hankyung laughed. “Where’s Kyuhyun? Doesn’t he want to distract me too?”
“I’m over here and as far as I’m concerned, you shouldn’t be distracted.” Kyuhyun called coming up next to Sungmin. “I think they should let you go, but I was outnumbered.”
“Outnumbered? Where’s Heechul?” He asked.
Only one pair of eyes turned to look at him, the other five turned away.
“Where’s Heechul?” he asked again.
Kyuhyun’s face was carefully blank, but he tilted his head to the left hallway. Hankyung started walking wondering why he had a bad feeling about this. What was Kyuhyun trying to tell him?
“Hankyung! Wait!”
But, he didn’t stop. He kept walking. He didn’t know what door, but he heard the sounds. Two voices, talking it seemed. He walked over. The door was open. He walked in silently and what he saw made him wish that he had let himself be distracted.
Heechul and Siwon were wrapped so tight around each other that there was no way to tell where one of them began and the other started. Hankyung didn’t know what to say. He and Sungmin had been very much in that position once upon a time or well, sort of. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t sad, he was more or less pitying himself.
What had he done wrong? What had he done to make Heechul seek out someone else? Why wasn’t he saying something? What was there to say?
He watched them trying to understand why he wasn’t feeling anything at all. Heechul broke away first. Heechul looked up first. And it was Heechul who finally made Hankyung understand what had worried him so much before.
“Hankyung.”
He watched Siwon turn, saw Siwon’s wide eyed gaze, saw Siwon’s hands tighten around Heechul. He wasn’t even angry at Siwon. What was wrong with him?
“I’m sorry for the interruption or well not really since I didn’t interrupt. I just wanted to know why I was practically being held down against my will. Guess this explains why. I’ll be going then.” He said in a voice that he couldn’t recognize.
He turned around and walked out. He didn’t run away. He didn’t slow down. His pace was what it normally was. His stance was the one he had adopted long ago, the one that warned people away, the one that said if you hurt me I’ll hurt back, it was his defensive walk. It was the walk he hadn’t used since he had met Heechul.
“Hankyung, wait.”
He turned around but kept walking. Heechul looked at him and he looked back.
“If you want to talk to me,” he said slowly. “I’ll be in my dorm.”
He turned away and kept going. He passed the six boys who said nothing. He gave Kyuhyun a smile and kept going. He passed the classrooms, the doors, the closets, the desks, the chairs, and even then he didn’t feel anything.
He walked up the stairs, keeping his head up. He went into his room. He sat on his bed. He remembered what he had done on that bed and still he felt nothing. He thought of Heechul and the words they’d told each other minutes ago and still nothing.
He remembered the harried look on Heechul when he’d asked about the hair. He remembered the quiet lie. He remembered that look, that look that had haunted him, that look that had confused him so much, that look that he could have sworn he had seen before. And now he knew what it was.
Guilt.
And only then, did he let himself feel anything. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t sad. There was no guilt on his part. He wasn’t upset. He didn’t blame himself. He didn’t blame Siwon. If anything, he placed some blame on Heechul. But, what he felt was different. What ran through him, the emotion that coursed through his heart and mind was one that scared him.
It scared him because of the potential threat it posed. It scared him because if he gave in he could lose himself. It scared him because he finally understood exactly who he was. It scared him for no other reason than because he had never before reacted in that way to anything.
He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t happy, certainly not that. But, if he had to pick the closest emotion to what he felt, he would have picked peace, happiness, fulfillment.
He was in love.
Love, because he knew what Heechul meant to him. He loved because he didn’t know how not to love Heechul. Love, because seeing Heechul with Siwon had just reaffirmed what he had always known. That without Heechul, he could survive, not live. Love, because he knew that to love meant to hurt.
And he was in love. He loved Heechul in a way that he would have never guessed at. He loved Heechul. He was in love, truly, in love, with Kim Heechul.
“Hankyung?”
He looked up.
“Heechul.” He said knowing that his smile was different.
“I have to talk to you.”
He nodded and patted the space next to him on the bed. He waited for Heechul to sit down and then he waited again. He would wait forever. He knew that now.
“I’m leaving you.”
He nodded.
“I’m going to go with Siwon, not anywhere far away, just, you know. I’m not going to date you anymore.” Heechul said softly. “I don’t think…I don’t really know how it happened. Maybe we just spent too much time together. Whatever it was, I like Siwon so you don’t have to worry about me.”
He nodded again.
“Aren’t you upset? Don’t you want to tell me to stay?”
“I can’t tell you to stay, because if I do and you want to go, you’ll end up hating me. If I don’t say anything and you do go, then I can always hope that you’ll come back.” Hankyung said stroking Heechul’s cheek. “I can wait. I told you before that I would always wait. If you don’t leave, as in go to some other country, I’ll wait quietly.”
Heechul’s hand moved to his face. He watched as Heechul brought their lips together. The kiss was soft, gentle, warm. It let Hankyung know that he wasn’t wrong. He could wait. He would wait. Always.
“Why are you so good to me?” Heechul asked lying back down on the bed and pulling Hankyung down with him.
“Because, I love you.” He said meaning it with everything he had.
He saw Heechul’s eyes soften. He felt the hands in his hair. He closed his eyes as Heechul brought them together. He let Heechul kiss him, but wouldn’t let it get farther than that. He wanted it. He desperately wanted it, but he had his pride. He had his dignity. He would not give into Heechul, because Heechul had dismissed him, had let him go, had replaced him with Siwon. He would not give in, no matter how much he wanted to.
That’s why he moved away. He left a stunned Heechul on the bed and walked to the window. He waited for Heechul to get the clue. It took a while, longer than Hankyung had expected, almost too long. He almost gave in, almost.
“Goodbye.” Heechul called softly.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”
He turned. He locked eyes with Heechul. They looked at each other and Hankyung knew he couldn’t have imagined the love he saw in Heechul’s eyes. He couldn’t be imagining the hurt, the regret. He made to move forward, but stopped. This was Heechul’s decision, Heechul’s cross. He would not help, not this time. This time it had to be Heechul who decided. It had to be Heechul who made the choice.
He had always made the choice, always held on. Even when it was Heechul who was doing the chasing, he had been the one to decide. He had been the one to accept. He wouldn’t decide now. He would let Heechul pick.
“I’m never going to say goodbye.” He answered finally.
A/N: I SWEAR IT IS NOT SIWON'S FAULT. OMG DON'T HURT THE POOR BABY. IT'S ALL HEECHUL!!! *hides Siwon* I'll just keep him here until later...Okay, I'm ready. Let the comments begin. Jann sweetie, I'm sorry. As a matter of fact guys I'm sorry, but it has to happen. You'll see why...uh, if it makes anyone feel better Hannie isn't too bothered. *hugs Hannie* He has a plan. And uh...dare I say hope you guys liked the chapter?
Hankyung had Heechul pressed between his body and the wall. They really had to find someplace else. There was no way this could possibly be comfortable for Heechul, especially since all they’d been doing lately involved walls, desks, chairs or closets.
“Heechul, we need to find a bed.”
“How can you even talk right now?”
Hankyung laughed and was rewarded with a pull on his hair.
“No time.” Heechul panted. “Wastes time. Ten minutes.”
“It’s your fault. You’re the one who has to…go…go…home every night.”
“Have to…Siwon.”
“Don’t say Siwon when we’re doing this.” Hankyung said stopping.
He saw the disbelief in Heechul’s eyes and had to hide his smirk.
“Siwon.” Heechul snapped. “Siwon. Siwon. Siwon. Si—”
Hankyung cut him off. He watched Heechul’s eyes shut and only then allowed himself the smirk he had been holding back.
“Hankyung.”
He said nothing. It would be a lie if he ever said he didn’t like to hear Heechul say his name. He loved it, especially when it came out like now, broken, strangled.
“I thought you liked Siwon’s name.” Hankyung said knowing full well that Heechul couldn’t answer and that pretty soon he wouldn’t be able to talk, much less taunt.
“I thought you liked Siwon’s name?” Heechul asked later when they were picking up their things.
Hankyung laughed. “You know I can’t think straight when we’re like that.”
“You can’t think straight even when we’re not like that. And you’re supposed to be the smart Golden Boy. I feel so bad for Yesung and Eunhyuk. They rely on you and you can’t even think of anything smart to say.” Heechul said carelessly throwing on his clothes.
Hankyung watched him, a small frown on his face.
“What?” Heechul asked.
“I don’t know. You’re hair? What did you do to it?” Hankyung asked noticing now that he didn’t have Heechul pressed up against him.
He studied the other man. There was something wrong. Heechul’s hair was still there, but there was something wrong. It took Hankyung a while to place exactly what it was.
“You’ve been doing something with someone else, haven’t you?”
“What?” Heechul laughed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Someone touched your hair, pulled at it, before you came here.”
“Hankyung,” Heechul said rolling his eyes. “What were we doing just now? It was you.”
Hankyung shook his head. “I never touched your hair.”
“Hankyung, you’re obsessed with the thing, of course you touched it.”
“I didn’t.” Hankyung insisted.
“Hankyung this is stupid.”
“No,” Hankyung said taking stopping Heechul from walking out the door. “This is not stupid. What did you do and with who? Was it Siwon? Another show?”
“Let go.” Heechul said, “I have to go home soon.”
Hankyung let him go. He watched Heechul leave. That look. What was that look? He didn’t recognize it, had never seen it on Heechul’s face before. He shook his head. What was he doing? Heechul was right. He probably had been the one who messed up Heechul’s hair. He really was obsessed with it.
He sighed. Why was he being so damn insecure? He had Heechul. He didn’t need to be insecure. He was fine. Everything was fine. So what if Heechul rarely had time to spend with him? So what if they had to have these quick meetings between classes? So what is he never left Siwon’s side lately? So what?
Hankyung knew, deep inside, that no matter how far Heechul went he would always come back. Heechul could be whatever anyone said, but Heechul knew how to keep promises. Hankyung was the weak one, the one that gave in when he felt a little pain. Heechul was strong. Heechul knew how to deal with situations.
There was nothing wrong he told himself as he walked down the hall. Why would there ever be anything wrong? He was being paranoid, too paranoid. He didn’t like it. Because, even though he kept telling himself that there was nothing, he had seen the look on Heechul’s face and it was bothering him.
He tried to place what it was. He tried to remember where he had seen it before. He knew it, almost recognized it, but why couldn’t he remember? He realized he didn’t care. He was worrying too much. It had been this same worry that had pushed him to Sungmin. He had Heechul.
He sighed. He was talking to himself in his own head and it was starting to annoy him. The more he thought, the less convinced he was.
“Hankyung?” Sungmin asked coming over.
“Hello, Min. What’s up?”
“I…can you help me with something?”
Hankyung frowned. “Sure, what’s wrong? You look weird.”
“Nothing. I…I just, let’s go that way.” Sungmin said taking his arm and leading him away from where he had been going.
“Hankyung!”
Hankyung stopped. He turned around. Donghae came up to him. He exchanged a look with Sungmin and Hankyung didn’t miss it. He frowned.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing. I just need your help with something.” Donghae said.
Hankyung laughed. He pulled his arm out of Sungmin’s grasp and looked at the two of them.
“What is it?” he asked. “And, don’t lie.”
“It’s nothing.” Donghae started.
“Hankyung! I found you.” Ryeowook said walking over. “I need to talk to you, now.”
Hankyung saw Donghae’s warning look and the shake of his head. He narrowed his eyes at them. There was something wrong and it involved the direction they were all coming from, the same way he was headed.
“Alright,” he said. “What is it and I don’t want to hear nothing.”
“Wookie, did you find him? Oh, Hankyung...” Yesung said stopping abruptly when he saw Hankyung.
“Yesung,” he said quietly. “What is it? What are you all hiding from me?”
“Yesung! Where’s…oh, hello hyung.” Eunhyuk said coming to a stop in front of him. “Can you come with me for a second?”
Hankyung laughed. “Where’s Kyuhyun? Doesn’t he want to distract me too?”
“I’m over here and as far as I’m concerned, you shouldn’t be distracted.” Kyuhyun called coming up next to Sungmin. “I think they should let you go, but I was outnumbered.”
“Outnumbered? Where’s Heechul?” He asked.
Only one pair of eyes turned to look at him, the other five turned away.
“Where’s Heechul?” he asked again.
Kyuhyun’s face was carefully blank, but he tilted his head to the left hallway. Hankyung started walking wondering why he had a bad feeling about this. What was Kyuhyun trying to tell him?
“Hankyung! Wait!”
But, he didn’t stop. He kept walking. He didn’t know what door, but he heard the sounds. Two voices, talking it seemed. He walked over. The door was open. He walked in silently and what he saw made him wish that he had let himself be distracted.
Heechul and Siwon were wrapped so tight around each other that there was no way to tell where one of them began and the other started. Hankyung didn’t know what to say. He and Sungmin had been very much in that position once upon a time or well, sort of. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t sad, he was more or less pitying himself.
What had he done wrong? What had he done to make Heechul seek out someone else? Why wasn’t he saying something? What was there to say?
He watched them trying to understand why he wasn’t feeling anything at all. Heechul broke away first. Heechul looked up first. And it was Heechul who finally made Hankyung understand what had worried him so much before.
“Hankyung.”
He watched Siwon turn, saw Siwon’s wide eyed gaze, saw Siwon’s hands tighten around Heechul. He wasn’t even angry at Siwon. What was wrong with him?
“I’m sorry for the interruption or well not really since I didn’t interrupt. I just wanted to know why I was practically being held down against my will. Guess this explains why. I’ll be going then.” He said in a voice that he couldn’t recognize.
He turned around and walked out. He didn’t run away. He didn’t slow down. His pace was what it normally was. His stance was the one he had adopted long ago, the one that warned people away, the one that said if you hurt me I’ll hurt back, it was his defensive walk. It was the walk he hadn’t used since he had met Heechul.
“Hankyung, wait.”
He turned around but kept walking. Heechul looked at him and he looked back.
“If you want to talk to me,” he said slowly. “I’ll be in my dorm.”
He turned away and kept going. He passed the six boys who said nothing. He gave Kyuhyun a smile and kept going. He passed the classrooms, the doors, the closets, the desks, the chairs, and even then he didn’t feel anything.
He walked up the stairs, keeping his head up. He went into his room. He sat on his bed. He remembered what he had done on that bed and still he felt nothing. He thought of Heechul and the words they’d told each other minutes ago and still nothing.
He remembered the harried look on Heechul when he’d asked about the hair. He remembered the quiet lie. He remembered that look, that look that had haunted him, that look that had confused him so much, that look that he could have sworn he had seen before. And now he knew what it was.
Guilt.
And only then, did he let himself feel anything. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t sad. There was no guilt on his part. He wasn’t upset. He didn’t blame himself. He didn’t blame Siwon. If anything, he placed some blame on Heechul. But, what he felt was different. What ran through him, the emotion that coursed through his heart and mind was one that scared him.
It scared him because of the potential threat it posed. It scared him because if he gave in he could lose himself. It scared him because he finally understood exactly who he was. It scared him for no other reason than because he had never before reacted in that way to anything.
He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t happy, certainly not that. But, if he had to pick the closest emotion to what he felt, he would have picked peace, happiness, fulfillment.
He was in love.
Love, because he knew what Heechul meant to him. He loved because he didn’t know how not to love Heechul. Love, because seeing Heechul with Siwon had just reaffirmed what he had always known. That without Heechul, he could survive, not live. Love, because he knew that to love meant to hurt.
And he was in love. He loved Heechul in a way that he would have never guessed at. He loved Heechul. He was in love, truly, in love, with Kim Heechul.
“Hankyung?”
He looked up.
“Heechul.” He said knowing that his smile was different.
“I have to talk to you.”
He nodded and patted the space next to him on the bed. He waited for Heechul to sit down and then he waited again. He would wait forever. He knew that now.
“I’m leaving you.”
He nodded.
“I’m going to go with Siwon, not anywhere far away, just, you know. I’m not going to date you anymore.” Heechul said softly. “I don’t think…I don’t really know how it happened. Maybe we just spent too much time together. Whatever it was, I like Siwon so you don’t have to worry about me.”
He nodded again.
“Aren’t you upset? Don’t you want to tell me to stay?”
“I can’t tell you to stay, because if I do and you want to go, you’ll end up hating me. If I don’t say anything and you do go, then I can always hope that you’ll come back.” Hankyung said stroking Heechul’s cheek. “I can wait. I told you before that I would always wait. If you don’t leave, as in go to some other country, I’ll wait quietly.”
Heechul’s hand moved to his face. He watched as Heechul brought their lips together. The kiss was soft, gentle, warm. It let Hankyung know that he wasn’t wrong. He could wait. He would wait. Always.
“Why are you so good to me?” Heechul asked lying back down on the bed and pulling Hankyung down with him.
“Because, I love you.” He said meaning it with everything he had.
He saw Heechul’s eyes soften. He felt the hands in his hair. He closed his eyes as Heechul brought them together. He let Heechul kiss him, but wouldn’t let it get farther than that. He wanted it. He desperately wanted it, but he had his pride. He had his dignity. He would not give into Heechul, because Heechul had dismissed him, had let him go, had replaced him with Siwon. He would not give in, no matter how much he wanted to.
That’s why he moved away. He left a stunned Heechul on the bed and walked to the window. He waited for Heechul to get the clue. It took a while, longer than Hankyung had expected, almost too long. He almost gave in, almost.
“Goodbye.” Heechul called softly.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”
He turned. He locked eyes with Heechul. They looked at each other and Hankyung knew he couldn’t have imagined the love he saw in Heechul’s eyes. He couldn’t be imagining the hurt, the regret. He made to move forward, but stopped. This was Heechul’s decision, Heechul’s cross. He would not help, not this time. This time it had to be Heechul who decided. It had to be Heechul who made the choice.
He had always made the choice, always held on. Even when it was Heechul who was doing the chasing, he had been the one to decide. He had been the one to accept. He wouldn’t decide now. He would let Heechul pick.
“I’m never going to say goodbye.” He answered finally.
A/N: I SWEAR IT IS NOT SIWON'S FAULT. OMG DON'T HURT THE POOR BABY. IT'S ALL HEECHUL!!! *hides Siwon* I'll just keep him here until later...Okay, I'm ready. Let the comments begin. Jann sweetie, I'm sorry. As a matter of fact guys I'm sorry, but it has to happen. You'll see why...uh, if it makes anyone feel better Hannie isn't too bothered. *hugs Hannie* He has a plan. And uh...dare I say hope you guys liked the chapter?
no subject
Yeah, well Heechul insecure and all of that. He needs time to realize what's wrong and what he did wrong. Yeah, there really is no reason other than Heechul's insecurity and his confusion. He's not sure if he really loves Geng (he hasn't told him I love you yet)
I love you tooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!