static_abyss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
static_abyss) wrote2010-09-08 11:59 pm
static_abyss) wrote2010-09-08 11:59 pm
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My Name is Kangin (YEMIN EPILOGUE)
Here is the sequel (though I don’t know if a one-shot can be called a sequel, so maybe an epilogue?) to My Name is Kangin! This was completely spur of the moment and to Thank you all for all your support, I made it extra-long! (Sorry if things move a bit too fast though) Enjoy!
Yesung wasn’t stupid. He knew that the reason Sungmin kissed him back was because he was desperate. Sungmin just needed release, some way out of the pain he must be feeling. And Yesung never once lied to himself. He didn’t sugar coat anything. He knew that right now Sungmin was seeing Leeteuk with his head on Kangin’s shoulder. He knew that Sungmin was wishing that his lips were Kangin’s.
Why didn’t he stop? Why did he keep going? Why did he press for more? Why when he knew that Sungmin didn’t want him?
The answer was simple.
He wanted. He wanted Sungmin. He wanted to be the one that Sungmin called. He wanted to be the one that Sungmin cried for. But, he wasn’t and he didn’t press. His own lips stopped moving before Sungmin’s did.
“I…I don’t…I’m so sorry Yesung.” Sungmin whispered his eyes wide.
Yesung swallowed back the lump in his throat. He saw regret clearly written all over Sungmin’s face. He saw the sadness, the pity, the wish to erase everything that had happened. He turned away. It was true that he was calculating and manipulative to some secret degree that none of the members knew about, but he was still human. And it hurt to see that the man he loved didn’t want him. It hurt too much for him to brush it away and smile. Instead, he reached forward to touch Sungmin’s face.
“If you ever need me, I’ll be downstairs either in my room or right next to you. You can come to me if you ever want to.”
He let that sink in and then turned to leave. It never once occurred to him that Sungmin might call him back, so he wasn’t disappointed when he got back to the dorm without once having Sungmin call him. He opened the door and ignored the smiling faces of Kangin and Leeteuk. He frowned at Heechul’s knowing look and openly glared when that look became mocking as Sungmin walked into the dorm.
“Yesung?”
He turned. “Yes?”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Sungmin asked in a voice so small that Yesung almost ran to hug him, almost.
Yesung didn’t miss the way Sungmin avoided looking at Kangin or the way Leeteuk pulled away slightly. He sighed. He didn’t want to be with Sungmin. He wanted to be alone in his room.
“Actually, Sungmin-sshi, Yesung promised to help me right now and I really, really need his help right now.”
Yesung looked up. He shot a grateful glance at Wookie who was even now walking to him. He thanked the boy silently and he knew Wookie understood. How could he not? The two had been friends for so long that it was impossible not to know what the other was thinking, not to mention all the time they HAD to spend together because of YeWook fans.
“Oh, okay.” Sungmin said not looking at them.
“If you ask me.” Heechul started loudly.
“No one asked you.” Hankyung said putting his hand over Heechul’s mouth and nodding at Yesung. He gave Hankyung a grateful smile and followed Wookie out the dorm. They walked quietly for a second before Wookie finally asked him what was wrong.
“Sungmin.” Yesung said knowing he didn’t have to explain.
“What did you do Yesung?”
“I kissed him like I said I was going to.”
“I told you to wait. He just broke up with Kangin. He doesn’t want to get into a relationship that fast. He needs time to adjust to what he just went through. He really liked Kangin. It’s like what happened to you. You like Sungmin and he was with Kangin.”
“And with Kyuhyun and with Hankyung and with Heechul and with Siwon and with Dongahe and with Eunhyuk definitely and with you at one point and Jungsu and Sunny and Zhou Mi and Jaejoong and even Yunho before he became a good for nothing.” Yesung said bitterly.
“Sungmin wasn’t with them.” Wookie said.
“He might as well have been. He liked everyone, but me.” Yesung said sitting down on the stairs.
He didn’t want to think. He avoided these types of conversations because they depressed him. He was already the quietest one in super junior, the outcast, the one that no one understood. Imagine what he would become if he started going into depression. That’s why he avoided thinking about what he felt for Sungmin, until that day he saw him with Kangin.
It had happened innocently enough. He had been in love with Sungmin ever since he had gotten to know the bubbly dongsaeng, if he could be called that. They had never really spent much time together until Sungmin had decided to confess certain feelings he was having for a certain band member. He had chosen to tell Yesung because Sungmin had said that he knew Yesung wouldn’t judge and Yesung hadn’t.
Ever since he found out that Sungmin had liked all the band members at one point or another, he had become much more protective of the younger man. He’s paid attention to any change in moods after that. He knew when Sungmin liked someone because he had a look, a sort of longing look that spoke for him. It was that look that Yesung wanted so desperately to be directed at him.
He had fallen in love with the look first, then with Sungmin. He had loved the way Sungmin could be so open with his eyes. No one but he knew just how expressive Sungmin could be. It was the reason why he was so perfect for Sungmin. He would be able to tell when anything was wrong without a single word from the other man.
“Yesungie?” Wookie finally asked.
“Yeah?”
“What are you going to do?”
Yesung looked at Ryeowook. What was he going to do?
“Wookie,” He said carefully. “What would you say to helping me confuse the hell out of Sungmin?”
***
Sungmin paced in his room. He had kissed Yesung. He had practically eaten Yesung’s face. He was a bad friend. He had gotten way too carried away. He didn’t even know why he had done it. He had been so upset over the whole Kangin/Leeteuk thing that he had given in way too easily.
He supposed that if he were truthful to himself (which he didn’t want to be) the reason he had given in was because he had wanted a way out. He hadn’t expected the way out to be sucking face with a band member, but the chance had presented itself to him and he had taken it.
Now, he wasn’t worried about Kangin and Leeteuk. It had been weeks since that had happened. Now, he was more worried about Yesung and what that kiss had done to their friendship. Sungmin depended too much on Yesung for him to ruin things. But, he had noticed how Yesung wanted to go with Wookie, so he’d let him. It wasn’t like they couldn’t talk about what happened later… much later, preferably never.
“Sungmin?”
Sungmin looked up. Kangin was standing by the door.
“What is it?” He asked glad that his heart had stopped doing that weird half jump thing it did whenever he saw Kangin.
“I think you shouldn’t sleep in your room today.” Kangin said careful to avoid looking straight into Sungmin’s eyes.
“Why not?”
“Yesung and Wookie are kind of busy right now.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Busy?”
Kangin said nothing and Sungmin frowned. What could busy mean? He watched Kangin walk away and his curiosity got the better of him. Only because they were in his room, he told himself as he walked to the room, only because it’s my room he told himself.
But, it wasn’t just that. It had a tiny bit to do with the fact that Yesung had kissed him. It was vanity in a way. He wanted to know what Yesung could possibly be doing with another band member if he had been kissing Sungmin earlier today.
He crept over to his room quietly. At first he didn’t hear anything, but then he pressed his ear against the door.
“Yesung, are you sure this is how you do it?”
“Sh, be quiet Wookie. I know what I’m doing. I have experience with these things.”
“But, won’t it hurt?”
“Maybe, probably.” Yesung was saying.
“But, I don’t want it to hurt.” Wookie half-whined.
“Stop moving so much. How are we supposed to get anywhere if you keep running away?”
“No, Yesung, stop. Get that thing away from me.”
Sungmin’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He leaned in closer when suddenly the door opened. He fell into the room hitting his head against the doorframe. He sat up rubbing his head.
“Sungmin?”
“Hey.” He said looking up at Yesung and Wookie, both who were fully dressed.
“What are you doing on the floor?” Wookie asked.
“I fell.” Sungmin said. “What were you two doing in my room?”
“We were, uh, we…Yesung!”
Sungmin looked up into Yesung’s smug face. “I was just helping Wookie with a rather…large problem he was having.”
Sungmin’s mouth fell open at the suggestive tone in Yesung’s voice. He looked at Wookie who was blushing bright red. He felt his mouth drop into a round O.
“I…well, I’ll just leave you two to, uh, your things.” He said backing away slowly.
“Wait, Min, it’s not what you’re thinking.” Wookie shouted after him.
He ran anyway. He stopped when he got to their room. What the hell was that? Not what he thought? What exactly did they think he was thinking? What was he thinking? And why was he in their room?
“Gah, you stupid, turtle loving, idiot.” He shouted throwing a pillow at the wall. “Why are you so stupid Min? What were you thinking? He kissed you because he’s one of those. He’s with Wookie right now and tomorrow he’ll be with Heechul or Hankyung or even Kyuhyun. Get it into your head.”
He glowered at the turtle in the room. What would Yesung do if he accidentally dropped the stupid turtle out the window? He paused to consider it then thought against it. He wasn’t a turtle murderer.
“Don’t worry.” He told the turtle. “I won’t kill you. I’ll go take my anger out on your stupid owner. I don’t even know how you can stand him. If I were you, I would be dying to be free. Do you want to be free? Should I let you go? Or do you want to come live with me? My room’s nicer, probably quieter since I won’t have a different guy there each night.”
He frowned. “I probably won’t ever have a guy in there ever. So, what do you say, want to live with me?”
“Min, what are you doing?”
Sungmin straightened up. He spun around to look at Yesung who was leaning against the door frame.
“Nothing.” He said automatically. “How long have you been there?”
Yesung smiled. “You can’t take my turtle.”
Sungmin wrinkled his nose. “He likes me better.”
He saw Yesung laugh and wanted to punch the other man. He took a deep breath and then walked out with as much dignity as he could muster. He thought it was going to be easy. He thought Yesung would let him go, but he was wrong. He was so deliciously wrong.
***
Yesung heard everything Sungmin told his poor turtle. It took a lot of concentration to keep quiet. He almost laughed too many times. And when he finally spoke, he loved the surprised look in Sungmin’s eyes.
“You can’t take my turtle.” He informed Sungmin.
“He likes me better.” Sungmin answered wrinkling his nose in a way that made Yesung want to close the distance between them.
He laughed, mostly to distract himself, but also because it was just so damn adorable.
He saw the defiant expression on Sungmin’s face as he tried to get past him. At first, Yesung considered letting him go. There was no point in holding Sungmin here against his will. He had plenty of time to work things out with him later, but he really didn’t want to wait. The whole scene with Wookie had been unintentional and it made him realize that maybe, just maybe, Sungmin felt something for him.
“Min.” He said taking Sungmin’s hand as he walked past him. “Min, don’t go.”
He felt Sungmin freeze. He smirked to himself and couldn’t help the smug expression. Yeah, he was a lot more interesting that people ever gave him credit for. If only his fans knew about how he was when the lights were off and the cameras were hidden.
“Min.” He said again moving his hand higher up on Sungmin’s arm. “I need…I need you.”
“What?” Sungmin asked breathless.
“I meant.” Yesung said smirking. “I need to talk to you.”
He saw the frown on Sungmin’s face and congratulated himself. He could teach Heechul a lesson or two he thought as he pulled Sungmin back into the room. He leaned against the closed door and locked it.
“Sungmin,” he said making his voice low and breathy. “Sungmin, don’t leave.”
He couldn’t see much because the lights in the room were off, but he could hear very well. And he heard the small gasps of breaths that Sungmin was taking.
“Sungmin, I need to tell you something.”
“What?”
Yesung smiled at the breathy way Sungmin was speaking.
“Don’t you want to know what I was doing with Wookie?” Yesung asked moving forward in the darkness, until he could feel the heat radiating from Sungmin. “We could do it too if you like.”
He heard Sungmin’s sharp intake of breath and nodded, quite satisfied. He leaned forward until he could feel Sungmin’s hot breath against his face.
“Yesung.” Sungmin whispered moving forward.
Yesung let him. He let Sungmin be the one who took the lead. He let Sungmin pull him closer, let Sungmin guide their lips to each other, let Sungmin take his time exploring.
He pulled away with a sigh. “Min, I love you.”
“Good.”
“Don’t you love me?” Yesung asked.
“Not until you tell me what you were doing with Wookie.” Sungmin said putting his head against Yesung’s shoulder anyway.
“Oh, that.” Yesung said. “I was helping his pierce his ear.”
A/N: Because I was asked for a sequel! Completely unplanned, so sorry for any inconsistencies. Hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think! ^^ Also, how sexy is Han Geng in his mv for My Logo?
Yesung wasn’t stupid. He knew that the reason Sungmin kissed him back was because he was desperate. Sungmin just needed release, some way out of the pain he must be feeling. And Yesung never once lied to himself. He didn’t sugar coat anything. He knew that right now Sungmin was seeing Leeteuk with his head on Kangin’s shoulder. He knew that Sungmin was wishing that his lips were Kangin’s.
Why didn’t he stop? Why did he keep going? Why did he press for more? Why when he knew that Sungmin didn’t want him?
The answer was simple.
He wanted. He wanted Sungmin. He wanted to be the one that Sungmin called. He wanted to be the one that Sungmin cried for. But, he wasn’t and he didn’t press. His own lips stopped moving before Sungmin’s did.
“I…I don’t…I’m so sorry Yesung.” Sungmin whispered his eyes wide.
Yesung swallowed back the lump in his throat. He saw regret clearly written all over Sungmin’s face. He saw the sadness, the pity, the wish to erase everything that had happened. He turned away. It was true that he was calculating and manipulative to some secret degree that none of the members knew about, but he was still human. And it hurt to see that the man he loved didn’t want him. It hurt too much for him to brush it away and smile. Instead, he reached forward to touch Sungmin’s face.
“If you ever need me, I’ll be downstairs either in my room or right next to you. You can come to me if you ever want to.”
He let that sink in and then turned to leave. It never once occurred to him that Sungmin might call him back, so he wasn’t disappointed when he got back to the dorm without once having Sungmin call him. He opened the door and ignored the smiling faces of Kangin and Leeteuk. He frowned at Heechul’s knowing look and openly glared when that look became mocking as Sungmin walked into the dorm.
“Yesung?”
He turned. “Yes?”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Sungmin asked in a voice so small that Yesung almost ran to hug him, almost.
Yesung didn’t miss the way Sungmin avoided looking at Kangin or the way Leeteuk pulled away slightly. He sighed. He didn’t want to be with Sungmin. He wanted to be alone in his room.
“Actually, Sungmin-sshi, Yesung promised to help me right now and I really, really need his help right now.”
Yesung looked up. He shot a grateful glance at Wookie who was even now walking to him. He thanked the boy silently and he knew Wookie understood. How could he not? The two had been friends for so long that it was impossible not to know what the other was thinking, not to mention all the time they HAD to spend together because of YeWook fans.
“Oh, okay.” Sungmin said not looking at them.
“If you ask me.” Heechul started loudly.
“No one asked you.” Hankyung said putting his hand over Heechul’s mouth and nodding at Yesung. He gave Hankyung a grateful smile and followed Wookie out the dorm. They walked quietly for a second before Wookie finally asked him what was wrong.
“Sungmin.” Yesung said knowing he didn’t have to explain.
“What did you do Yesung?”
“I kissed him like I said I was going to.”
“I told you to wait. He just broke up with Kangin. He doesn’t want to get into a relationship that fast. He needs time to adjust to what he just went through. He really liked Kangin. It’s like what happened to you. You like Sungmin and he was with Kangin.”
“And with Kyuhyun and with Hankyung and with Heechul and with Siwon and with Dongahe and with Eunhyuk definitely and with you at one point and Jungsu and Sunny and Zhou Mi and Jaejoong and even Yunho before he became a good for nothing.” Yesung said bitterly.
“Sungmin wasn’t with them.” Wookie said.
“He might as well have been. He liked everyone, but me.” Yesung said sitting down on the stairs.
He didn’t want to think. He avoided these types of conversations because they depressed him. He was already the quietest one in super junior, the outcast, the one that no one understood. Imagine what he would become if he started going into depression. That’s why he avoided thinking about what he felt for Sungmin, until that day he saw him with Kangin.
It had happened innocently enough. He had been in love with Sungmin ever since he had gotten to know the bubbly dongsaeng, if he could be called that. They had never really spent much time together until Sungmin had decided to confess certain feelings he was having for a certain band member. He had chosen to tell Yesung because Sungmin had said that he knew Yesung wouldn’t judge and Yesung hadn’t.
Ever since he found out that Sungmin had liked all the band members at one point or another, he had become much more protective of the younger man. He’s paid attention to any change in moods after that. He knew when Sungmin liked someone because he had a look, a sort of longing look that spoke for him. It was that look that Yesung wanted so desperately to be directed at him.
He had fallen in love with the look first, then with Sungmin. He had loved the way Sungmin could be so open with his eyes. No one but he knew just how expressive Sungmin could be. It was the reason why he was so perfect for Sungmin. He would be able to tell when anything was wrong without a single word from the other man.
“Yesungie?” Wookie finally asked.
“Yeah?”
“What are you going to do?”
Yesung looked at Ryeowook. What was he going to do?
“Wookie,” He said carefully. “What would you say to helping me confuse the hell out of Sungmin?”
***
Sungmin paced in his room. He had kissed Yesung. He had practically eaten Yesung’s face. He was a bad friend. He had gotten way too carried away. He didn’t even know why he had done it. He had been so upset over the whole Kangin/Leeteuk thing that he had given in way too easily.
He supposed that if he were truthful to himself (which he didn’t want to be) the reason he had given in was because he had wanted a way out. He hadn’t expected the way out to be sucking face with a band member, but the chance had presented itself to him and he had taken it.
Now, he wasn’t worried about Kangin and Leeteuk. It had been weeks since that had happened. Now, he was more worried about Yesung and what that kiss had done to their friendship. Sungmin depended too much on Yesung for him to ruin things. But, he had noticed how Yesung wanted to go with Wookie, so he’d let him. It wasn’t like they couldn’t talk about what happened later… much later, preferably never.
“Sungmin?”
Sungmin looked up. Kangin was standing by the door.
“What is it?” He asked glad that his heart had stopped doing that weird half jump thing it did whenever he saw Kangin.
“I think you shouldn’t sleep in your room today.” Kangin said careful to avoid looking straight into Sungmin’s eyes.
“Why not?”
“Yesung and Wookie are kind of busy right now.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Busy?”
Kangin said nothing and Sungmin frowned. What could busy mean? He watched Kangin walk away and his curiosity got the better of him. Only because they were in his room, he told himself as he walked to the room, only because it’s my room he told himself.
But, it wasn’t just that. It had a tiny bit to do with the fact that Yesung had kissed him. It was vanity in a way. He wanted to know what Yesung could possibly be doing with another band member if he had been kissing Sungmin earlier today.
He crept over to his room quietly. At first he didn’t hear anything, but then he pressed his ear against the door.
“Yesung, are you sure this is how you do it?”
“Sh, be quiet Wookie. I know what I’m doing. I have experience with these things.”
“But, won’t it hurt?”
“Maybe, probably.” Yesung was saying.
“But, I don’t want it to hurt.” Wookie half-whined.
“Stop moving so much. How are we supposed to get anywhere if you keep running away?”
“No, Yesung, stop. Get that thing away from me.”
Sungmin’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He leaned in closer when suddenly the door opened. He fell into the room hitting his head against the doorframe. He sat up rubbing his head.
“Sungmin?”
“Hey.” He said looking up at Yesung and Wookie, both who were fully dressed.
“What are you doing on the floor?” Wookie asked.
“I fell.” Sungmin said. “What were you two doing in my room?”
“We were, uh, we…Yesung!”
Sungmin looked up into Yesung’s smug face. “I was just helping Wookie with a rather…large problem he was having.”
Sungmin’s mouth fell open at the suggestive tone in Yesung’s voice. He looked at Wookie who was blushing bright red. He felt his mouth drop into a round O.
“I…well, I’ll just leave you two to, uh, your things.” He said backing away slowly.
“Wait, Min, it’s not what you’re thinking.” Wookie shouted after him.
He ran anyway. He stopped when he got to their room. What the hell was that? Not what he thought? What exactly did they think he was thinking? What was he thinking? And why was he in their room?
“Gah, you stupid, turtle loving, idiot.” He shouted throwing a pillow at the wall. “Why are you so stupid Min? What were you thinking? He kissed you because he’s one of those. He’s with Wookie right now and tomorrow he’ll be with Heechul or Hankyung or even Kyuhyun. Get it into your head.”
He glowered at the turtle in the room. What would Yesung do if he accidentally dropped the stupid turtle out the window? He paused to consider it then thought against it. He wasn’t a turtle murderer.
“Don’t worry.” He told the turtle. “I won’t kill you. I’ll go take my anger out on your stupid owner. I don’t even know how you can stand him. If I were you, I would be dying to be free. Do you want to be free? Should I let you go? Or do you want to come live with me? My room’s nicer, probably quieter since I won’t have a different guy there each night.”
He frowned. “I probably won’t ever have a guy in there ever. So, what do you say, want to live with me?”
“Min, what are you doing?”
Sungmin straightened up. He spun around to look at Yesung who was leaning against the door frame.
“Nothing.” He said automatically. “How long have you been there?”
Yesung smiled. “You can’t take my turtle.”
Sungmin wrinkled his nose. “He likes me better.”
He saw Yesung laugh and wanted to punch the other man. He took a deep breath and then walked out with as much dignity as he could muster. He thought it was going to be easy. He thought Yesung would let him go, but he was wrong. He was so deliciously wrong.
***
Yesung heard everything Sungmin told his poor turtle. It took a lot of concentration to keep quiet. He almost laughed too many times. And when he finally spoke, he loved the surprised look in Sungmin’s eyes.
“You can’t take my turtle.” He informed Sungmin.
“He likes me better.” Sungmin answered wrinkling his nose in a way that made Yesung want to close the distance between them.
He laughed, mostly to distract himself, but also because it was just so damn adorable.
He saw the defiant expression on Sungmin’s face as he tried to get past him. At first, Yesung considered letting him go. There was no point in holding Sungmin here against his will. He had plenty of time to work things out with him later, but he really didn’t want to wait. The whole scene with Wookie had been unintentional and it made him realize that maybe, just maybe, Sungmin felt something for him.
“Min.” He said taking Sungmin’s hand as he walked past him. “Min, don’t go.”
He felt Sungmin freeze. He smirked to himself and couldn’t help the smug expression. Yeah, he was a lot more interesting that people ever gave him credit for. If only his fans knew about how he was when the lights were off and the cameras were hidden.
“Min.” He said again moving his hand higher up on Sungmin’s arm. “I need…I need you.”
“What?” Sungmin asked breathless.
“I meant.” Yesung said smirking. “I need to talk to you.”
He saw the frown on Sungmin’s face and congratulated himself. He could teach Heechul a lesson or two he thought as he pulled Sungmin back into the room. He leaned against the closed door and locked it.
“Sungmin,” he said making his voice low and breathy. “Sungmin, don’t leave.”
He couldn’t see much because the lights in the room were off, but he could hear very well. And he heard the small gasps of breaths that Sungmin was taking.
“Sungmin, I need to tell you something.”
“What?”
Yesung smiled at the breathy way Sungmin was speaking.
“Don’t you want to know what I was doing with Wookie?” Yesung asked moving forward in the darkness, until he could feel the heat radiating from Sungmin. “We could do it too if you like.”
He heard Sungmin’s sharp intake of breath and nodded, quite satisfied. He leaned forward until he could feel Sungmin’s hot breath against his face.
“Yesung.” Sungmin whispered moving forward.
Yesung let him. He let Sungmin be the one who took the lead. He let Sungmin pull him closer, let Sungmin guide their lips to each other, let Sungmin take his time exploring.
He pulled away with a sigh. “Min, I love you.”
“Good.”
“Don’t you love me?” Yesung asked.
“Not until you tell me what you were doing with Wookie.” Sungmin said putting his head against Yesung’s shoulder anyway.
“Oh, that.” Yesung said. “I was helping his pierce his ear.”
A/N: Because I was asked for a sequel! Completely unplanned, so sorry for any inconsistencies. Hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think! ^^ Also, how sexy is Han Geng in his mv for My Logo?