Princess

[static_abyss]

Title: Princess
Pairing: Hanchul, Kyumin, Zhou Ry, like super ninja Eunhae (props  if you can spot it)
Genre: crack
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: Heechul wanted to be a Princess.
Note: This is for the lovely and ever awesome Chels, because she and I both know that Heechul secretly wants boobs ;)

A/N: OH. MY. SIWON. I don't...I can't...seriously, I don't even have an explanation for this. Okay, so there I was done with tests for this week and so I decided to post something, but then, I started talking to the ever awesome neko_no_hi676 and she said something and I said something and then this happened. OMG, I don't have anything to say except, well, yeah...


“Once upon a time, in a faraway—”

“Yo, fairy godmother.” Heechul said waving his perfectly manicured hands in front of Shindong’s face. “I want to be a Princess.”

Shindong sighed rearranging his white wings and golden crown. He had picked this job because they told him it was going to be easy. They said he wouldn’t have to do much, just narrate pointlessly and grant wishes every now and then. They never told him he’d have to deal with Kim Heechul. This was probably all Kangin’s idea of a joke. He’d have to have a talk with him once he got away from Heechul.

“You can’t be a Princess.” Shindong tried to explain for the fifth time. “You’re a guy.”

“So? I want to be a Princess. And I want Hankyung here. Now.” Heechul said voice low. “Don’t make me repeat it again.”

“Wait.” Sungmin said appearing out of nowhere. “If he gets to be a Princess then I want to be one too”

“Ugh, why are you always copying what I want? Get more original. Next thing you know, you’ll be wanting to take Hankyung too.”

Sungmin pouted. “Why would I want Hankyung? I have Kyuhyun.”

“What? What are you trying to say? Hankyung isn’t good enough for you?” Heechul all but screeched.

Shindong clamped both hands over his ears. Seriously, what the hell had he ever done to end up here? He had to make sure to get down on his hands and knees and apologize to the fairy queen. If he had known that Leeteuk was so damn defensive about his food, he would have never taken that last piece of cake.

“Fine, you know what?” Heechul said. “Keep your stick on legs.”

“Did someone call me?” Zhou Mi asked getting out of his stylish Mercedez Benz.

“What the fuck?” Heechul and Sungmin said waiving in Zhou Mi’s direction.

“I had to ride a horse here.” Sungmin said.

Shindong shrugged. “He asked for a car. I gave it to him.”

“Then make me a Princess. Why the hell does he get a car, but I can’t be a stupid Princess. I said I want to be a Princess now!”

“And I want to be a Princess too.” Sungmin added. “And bring Kyuhyun here too. I want to see who looks better on a horse.”

“Like I said before.” Shindong said waving his wand as he spoke. “I can’t make you Princesses. You two are guys.”

There was a loud pop and suddenly both Kyuhyun and Hankyung were standing there. Kyuhyun had controller in his hands. When he looked up and saw where he was he sank to his knees, a devastated expression on his face.

“Why am I here?” he asked looking around. “What the fuck? Shindong? What are you doing wearing a tutu and what’s with the crown?”

“I am Super Junior’s fairy godmother. I am here—”

“Who cares why you’re here.” Kyuhyun said rushing over. “Tell me that my game was saved. Tell me that even if I’m here, you somehow managed to save my game. Tell me!”

Shindong winced. So that’s what he had forgotten.

“Uh…oh would you look at that, it’s Hankyung.” Shindong said waiving at a very confused Hankyung.

“I don’t even want to know.” Hankyung said shaking his head and straightening his shirt. “Just tell me what I have to do to get out of here and back to my bed.”

“Hannie!” Heechul yelled flinging himself at Hankyung who just managed to catch Heechul before he fell. “I was just telling his blessed fairy godmother or whatever that I want to be a Princess.”

“Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Heechul, Sungmin, Hankyung and Zhou Mi all turned to look at Kyuhyun. He was on his knees on the floor, clutching his controller to his chest.

“I was on the last level. I was almost done. I was so close to beating anchovies_love_fishies. So close.” Kyuhyun managed before he dissolved into a pile of tears.

“Aw, Kyuhyun.” Sungmin said coming over and putting an arm around the inconsolable male. “I know how to make it all better.”

Kyuhyun looked up. “You do?”

“Yes,” Sungmin said getting up and turning to Shindong.

Shindong chose to ignore the obvious look and turned back to Hankyung. The look on Hankyung’s face was like a warm bath to Shindong. It was clearly a what-the-fuck-is-wrong-here sort of look. It made Shindong happy to know that he wasn’t the only sane person there.

“Yo fairly godmonster or whatever you call yourself, get with the changing. I want to be a Princess.”

“I do too.” Sungmin said. “And I want to be prettier than Heechul.”

“Psh, fat chance.”

“Wait, Heechul, what do you mean Princess?” Hankyung asked looking down at his handful of Heechul.

Heechul just grinned.

“Wait!” Hankyung and Kyuhyun both yelled.

“Too late.” Shindong said waiving his wand.

“Oh and I want a bigger crown than yours.” Heechul called as he and Sungmin were both enveloped in a white light.

Hankyung yelped and jumped back letting go of Heechul and cradling his now red hands.

“Oh right sorry.” Shindong grinned. “I should have told you that it was going to get pretty hot.”

Hankyung glared while Kyuhyun laughed.

Seconds later, there before them appeared the most…beautiful (?) girl Kyuhyun had ever laid eyes on. Or well, more precisely it was Sungmin, but with a few…noticeable changes. Suffice to say, Kyuhyun was very pleased with the new…growth near Sungmin’s chest area.

“Oh yeah,” Kyuhyun said walking over to Sungmin who was wearing a pink ball gown. “I like. May Kyumin go public right now!”

Hankyung gaped open mouthed. He was afraid, very afraid to turn and look at Heechul. He took a deep breath and turned willing himself to be strong and brave. He gulped in what he hoped wasn’t his last lungful of air and there was…Heechul.

Hankyung about fell over with relief when he realized that it was still pretty much Heechul except of course he had longer hair and a red ball gown. So, basically it was Heechul who hadn’t cut his hair with what he usually wore on the weekends.

“Wait!” Heechul said looking down at himself. “My shoes don’t match with this.”

Shindong rolled his eyes and made it happen. “Okay there, happy? Can I go now?”

Heechul was ready to say yes when he caught sight of Sungmin. “Wait!”

“What now?” Shindong asked.

“Why don’t I have those?” Heechul said pointing at Sungmin’s…yeah…

“Because I said I wanted to be prettier than you. That’s why.” Sungmin said sticking out his…er…her tongue.

“No fair.” Heechul said turning back both hands on her hips. “I want boobs now!”

Shindong wanted to cry. Why? Seriously? Why? Of all the people in the world? Why him?

“Excuse me?” Hankyung said. “I need to go throw up now.”

Shindong watched him concerned. He knew this whole thing was going to get to someone eventually. He turned to look at Kyuhyun, but the maknae seemed to have forgotten all about his game, because there he was ogling Sungmin shamelessly. Shindong turned back to Hankyung and shook his head. One man’s trash…

“Hello, Mr. I-wish-I-was-Heechul. I said I want boobs.” Heechul said either oblivious or ignoring the fact that Hankyung was puking his brains out.

Shindong sighed. He made ready to wave his wand again when Henry popped out of nowhere. That was enough to bring Hankyung back from where he was.

“Henry?” Hankyung asked. “What are you doing here?”

Henry shrugged. He was holding his violin in one hand and a music sheet in the other.

“I was bored.” Zhou Mi said. “Everyone was ignoring me.”

Shindong rolled his eyes. He watched Zhou Mi go over and put an arm around Henry.

“Come on Henry.” Zhou Mi said pulling the younger boy along. “Let’s go for a ride.”

Henry was about to protest, something about school and practicing, but then his eyes fell on the car and he was sold. Shindong grinned. Of course, who could resist a good car?

“Okay, now back to me.” Heechul said. “I have the crown, now I want the boobs. So get with it.”

Shindong threw Hankyung an apologetic look. He waved his wand at the same time that Hankyung lunged forward.

“Nooooo!!!!!”

“No what?”

Hankyung looked around. He was in his bed. There was no Shindong with wings. There was no Kyuhyun and Sungmin. He looked down at Heechul in bed next to him. Then, before he knew what he was doing, he had stripped Heechul. Hankyung about cried with relief when he saw that everything was in order.

“Oh, you want to play?” Heechul asked, a lazy smirk on his face.

Hankyung didn’t even blink. He bolted from the bed and ran for Kyuhyun and Sungmin’s room. He didn’t even bother knocking, just ran in and fell on the floor relieved beyond anything because Sungmin and Kyuhyun were both naked and neither had grown any extra anything.

“What the fuck?” Kyuhyun asked detaching himself from Sungmin. “Hyung, get the hell out. We’re sort of busy.”

It was then that Hankyung realized what they were doing. He backed out of the room locking the door behind him. When he got back to his room, there was Heechul, naked and with both hands on his hips, looking thoroughly pissed off.

“You better have an explanation for this.”

That was how Hankyung found himself lying on Heechul’s lap while Heechul played with his hair, telling Heechul all about his dream. When he was done, Heechul looked down at him, a wicked smile on his lips.

“So, do I look good with boobs?”

Hankyung rolled over and proceeded to cry his eyes out.

A/N: Like I said before. I don't even know what to say. I can't explain this. I am at a loss for words. I'll just go over there in my corner and wait and see what happens. Oh gosh, the things one small conversation can do to you. XD